[Dizerel]

Originally Posted by spade

As heavy pawsteps entered his den, Kestrelstar lifted his head to observe Junipersong. Something about her was amiss, off in a way that the leader couldn't quite place a paw on. They hadn't spoken in what felt like ages - partly his fault, as he had been running himself ragged in an attempt to get his Clan to like him. A fruitless endeavor, as he was beginning to realize he would never please everyone. All that mattered was that he knew his intentions. He knew in his heart that he had changed, was a good cat now. Sure, he wasn't perfect, but was anyone?

"I'm surprised you didn't bring a crab with you," the gray tabby tom snorted, amusement dancing in his gaze and twitching his whiskers as he padded over closer to his friend. Stars, he hoped they were still friends after everything. Not that he expected them not to be, but with so many things going on and the silence that had lingered between them upon his return to the Clan... it was hard to stop his mind from assuming the worst.

A beat passed before a dark, gloomy aura of seriousness overtook his expression, and a once small smile tight lipped into a subtle frown. He could tell she was on edge, that much was easy just by looking at her. "...It's the coyotes, isn't it?" He didn't even have to ask; he had been there. When Junipersong had bravely battled for the protection of her home against the pack that had almost stolen his life and injured several of his Clanmates. He recalled the gruesome story she had told him after, and to this day he would be lying if he said it didn't send a small shiver down his spine.

But he would never judge her. Aside from maybe Snakeheart, she was the only cat in the entire Clan who he felt as though he could trust all the way, one hundred percent. There was a certain safety whenever she was around, and having her in his den reminded him of that. Too long had passed since they had talked; that wouldn't happen again on his watch.

Something about her behavior was off. As she paced into the den she just found a comfortable spot to sit and just kinda slumped onto the ground. As if it were her own den. Normally this wouldn't be too big of a surprise. With someone who wears their heart on their fur and constantly shows physical affection, it would be expected for her behavior to reflect her mental state. But this was different. Being someone so carefree, worry and concern was rather unordinary for her.

"Oh, you figured that one out, huh? I tried to keep the pile as fresh as I could. Hopefully they were all still enjoyable upon your return" The small joke was what her mental state needed. Something to snap her back to thinking logically about things and not get herself stuck in an endless spiraling loop of worry. She longed to rub her cheek against his side but she didn't want to push things right now, seeing as it was their first time talking since his return.

Pausing for a moment. For anyone that had known about the previous ordeal with the coyotes, it would be obvious that was the reason for the molly's worry. "Yeah. I don't know I just... I'm afraid. Last time you almost died. and now I cant stop thinking about what could have happened. What if I wasn't there? What if something else happens and I'm not there? I just- its mouse-brained, I know. But that same scene keeps playing in my mind over and over again. Disobeying orders, running after the predator patrol. I saw lunging teeth and all I could think of was interposing myself..."

It wasn't just that, either. He knew about what happened with the coyote pup. She hadn't told anyone of the other occurrence, where she nearly killed her brand new apprentice. But that was one of the few things she felt uncomfortable bringing up to Kestrelstar. Her apprentice never got hurt but the idea that she was fractions of a second away from snapping the spine of the young Featherpaw.... it haunted her more than the coyote pup.

"This might sound stupid but.... I want to take care of the coyotes. By myself. Not only do I want to keep my clanmates safe but I feel like scaring away the coyotes without killing them is the only way I will forgive myself for that horrible thing I did." It was a selfish, foolish request. Any other cat might think she was just asking cause she wanted all the pride and fame of taking it on herself. But her eyes showed and intense resolve to them, determination to prove to herself that she was better this time.