[spade]

Originally Posted by Kunaiskrill

Nightleap -->


She looked at him. "I have some news, but before I do that, I wanted to thank you for training me so well. I'll stick with you no matter what." She said. "and, you were the first one I wanted to tell, I'm expecting kits!" she said, stifling a mrrow of laughter.

@spade

The unexpected display of gratitude did nothing short of shock Kestrelstar, yellow eyes widening at the words. To him, it was just the daily life of a warrior who was honored to mentor an apprentice; training them so that they could join the ranks of RiverClan's warriors and protect and defend their Clan. "I... I appreciate that. You were an excellent apprentice to teach," he returned, clearing his throat in combativeness of the rising awkwardness he felt. It still took a little getting used to, with the compliments he'd received. Hopefully in time he would get better at it.

What Nightleap said next widened his eyes further. He didn't make it a point to get into the intimacies of his Clanmates, so generally he wasn't all that in the know of who was mates or who was expecting kits. But something about this scenario made him glad that his former apprentice had come to tell him. After a moment, the RiverClan leader offered a smile. "That's great to hear Nightleap. I'm sure they'll be excellent additions to RiverClan. You'll teach them to stay out of my den, yes?" The last part was tinged with sarcasm as the tom let out a chuckle of his own.

Originally Posted by Dizerel

Something about her behavior was off. As she paced into the den she just found a comfortable spot to sit and just kinda slumped onto the ground. As if it were her own den. Normally this wouldn't be too big of a surprise. With someone who wears their heart on their fur and constantly shows physical affection, it would be expected for her behavior to reflect her mental state. But this was different. Being someone so carefree, worry and concern was rather unordinary for her.

"Oh, you figured that one out, huh? I tried to keep the pile as fresh as I could. Hopefully they were all still enjoyable upon your return" The small joke was what her mental state needed. Something to snap her back to thinking logically about things and not get herself stuck in an endless spiraling loop of worry. She longed to rub her cheek against his side but she didn't want to push things right now, seeing as it was their first time talking since his return.

Pausing for a moment. For anyone that had known about the previous ordeal with the coyotes, it would be obvious that was the reason for the molly's worry. "Yeah. I don't know I just... I'm afraid. Last time you almost died. and now I cant stop thinking about what could have happened. What if I wasn't there? What if something else happens and I'm not there? I just- its mouse-brained, I know. But that same scene keeps playing in my mind over and over again. Disobeying orders, running after the predator patrol. I saw lunging teeth and all I could think of was interposing myself..."

It wasn't just that, either. He knew about what happened with the coyote pup. She hadn't told anyone of the other occurrence, where she nearly killed her brand new apprentice. But that was one of the few things she felt uncomfortable bringing up to Kestrelstar. Her apprentice never got hurt but the idea that she was fractions of a second away from snapping the spine of the young Featherpaw.... it haunted her more than the coyote pup.

"This might sound stupid but.... I want to take care of the coyotes. By myself. Not only do I want to keep my clanmates safe but I feel like scaring away the coyotes without killing them is the only way I will forgive myself for that horrible thing I did." It was a selfish, foolish request. Any other cat might think she was just asking cause she wanted all the pride and fame of taking it on herself. But her eyes showed and intense resolve to them, determination to prove to herself that she was better this time.

Waves of worry and concern rolled off Junipersong to the point that Kestrelstar found that his paws were instinctively leading him towards his friend. Yellow eyes were narrowed with concern - and if he was being honest, a mild trace of confusion. He had never understood before, and still didn't, why a few cats in the Clan believed he was worthy of any saving. He was doing his best to redeem himself, to showcase his change, but deep down there was a part of him that longed for the quiet dissolution. A soft pin drop in the middle of the night that would be his departure. It baffled him when cats like Junipersong... worried over him. What had he done in his time as leader other than burn himself down to the ground, with RiverClan alongside him?

It was hard to keep those thoughts at bay, a challenge that Kestrelstar had accepted he'd probably spend his whole life battling against. Some times it was easy to do so; others, nearly impossible.

Sitting down closer to his friend now, Kestrelstar felt his own shoulders slump a bit as he let out a sigh. "Thankfully, I've got a few extra lives to spare," the gray tabby tom joked softly, though it didn't have the same lightheartedness as his first joke had. Even if he had mustered all of the parts of his personality that remained bold and brash, the joke still would've sounded flat. Before his eyes, Junipersong was breaking under the weight of the recent coyote revolution, and he'd be damned if he'd let her go through that alone.

"I've got claws, and I'm a lot less mouse-brained than I was as a foolish warrior. I don't... I don't go looking for danger as much as I used to. The thrill, the need to... to prove myself to my Clan. At least, I try not to. You don't have to worry, really." Lifting his gaze so that he was searching her own, Kestrelstar offered the beginnings of a smile. He hoped that he could at least shoulder this feeling with her. Remembering how the coyotes had ripped apart his Clanmates so easily caused him to shudder when he thought about it. However, logistically he had only seen one - maybe it had just been passing through.

But that didn't seem to be it - the past seasons' coyotes. As Junipersong spoke her request outloud, Kestrelstar couldn't help but recoil. Eyes wide, pelt bristling a bit. "No!" he exclaimed, before realizing how loud that was. The initial shock wearing off, the RiverClan leader shook his head vigorously. "No. I am not sending you to face those coyotes alone. If they pose a problem, we'll send multiple, capable warriors after them. You can be apart of that, but you're not facing them alone." His voice was firm, solid, confident - resembling the old Kestrelstar he had been before certain events had shattered those parts of him. Yellow eyes glimmered with defiance at her request, though there was a hint of worry deep within him. As much as Junipersong was worried about losing him, he was just as worried about losing her. She was his best friend, the cat that had been there through so much... if a coyote took that away from him, the leader wasn't sure if he'd ever recover.

Originally Posted by Moonraven

Twilightstar trailed in behind the RiverClan leader, taking a seat a few tail lengths away from him. She glanced around the den as Kestrelstar gathered his thoughts. She's never been inside another clan leader's den before, which isn't saying much. It wasn't like she bothered visiting the other clans all that much. Aside from the scent, there was nothing particularly different or special about the den. Curling her tail around her slightly wet and cold forepaws, Twilightstar returned her sight to the gray tom once he started speaking.

She flattened an ear against her head as Kestrelstar explained what happened with his borders. Not that she was taking sides, but he had provoked the she-cat by calling out her clan. Which honestly hadn't been the brightest plan of action, Dawnstar could hold a grudge for the smallest slight against her clan for moons. She was anything but rational and would go to extreme lengths to enact what she felt was retribution. Which made her worst than her mother, the fact that Dawnstar used her clan as disposable pawns made her that much worse. She was unpredictable and a lunatic, in the long run, it would be safer for WindClan to stand with RiverClan but...

"I am and will be forever grateful to hear that you will stand with us as is WindClan," Twilightstar began in a gracious tone, "But as of right now I'm uncertain on what I want to do with ShadowClan. The last fight with ShadowClan didn't just end poorly, they viciously slaughtered my clanmates. We couldn't even bury most of our dead. My clan might want to continue fighting and spilling blood, but I've grown... discontent with it. They've failed to realize that regardless of how many times we challenge her, there is no winning with a cat who's a mad as a fox in a fit. All Dawnstar wants is war, blood, and death, I don't believe she cares who's it is so long as it someones. I've killed her before she died choking on her own blood while laughing." That was definitionally one of Twilightstar's most disturbing memories.

"I don't believe tooth and claw are going to make her stop, if anything, she loses, recovers, and does it all over again. I don't want my clan to suffer, nor any clan, but I'm not going to retaliate for the sake of showing strength." The lives of her clan and perhaps once newleaf starts, if she hasn't figured out the territory situation, she'd fight to reclaim the Sky Glade as ShadowClan called it, but aside from that Twilightstar wasn't eager to lift a claw to challenge ShadowClan. Not because she was weak, but she was scared. The number of lives and blood spilled by that merciless clan and their deranged leader was by far the worst WindClan's ever dealt with under her leadership. Twilightstar truly didn't think fighting against ShadowClan to make a point was worth it. Still though...

"If you decide to retaliate against ShadowClan, WindClan will aid you." The leader's green eye shimmered with quiet determination. "Not because I feel that we owe you and RiverClan anything, you and Lionstorm have both reassured me that we owe you nothing. But you've been willing to turn WindClan's hardships and problems into your own. As allies and friends, RiverClan's battles are WindClan's at least against a blight threatening to harm anything and everything in her path." The two clans have been allies particularly since Twilightstar took over as WindClan's leader and that was rather long. She had pulled away from RiverClan when Kestrelstar had become leader, he had started off a little more reckless than Twilightstar was willing to accept. He made things far too personal for older leader's liking, but right now he seemed alright. It was unlike she'd take a side with him against ThunderClan should trouble ever stir up between them again. But ShadowClan, that was an enemy she felt every clan should have their hackles risen against.

As Kestrelstar listened to the other leader, a part of him felt frustration. The hesitancy to take a stand against ShadowClan was infuriating, though he managed to keep a lid on his claws, fur, and expression - save for the slight pinching together of his brows and darkening of his eyes. Did they not want revenge for their fallen Clanmates? Did their claws not seek justice against those who had viciously slaughtered their own, leaving them for worse than dead??

Then memories of the raid he had launched on ThunderClan came back. Of the dark shadows that had interlaced with each passing though - how disconnected Kestrelstar had felt from himself and his Clan as he led them down the perilous path of never-ending revenge. The aftermath from it all, circling him like scattered debris. Slicing him at ever corner, stinging with each blow. It hadn't been worth it - revenge for those who had died. He knew that now, and it felt almost like a moment of clarity as he finally compared the two situations.

All his life, Kestrelstar had only known the life of a warrior. Fighting to protect the Clan, not thinking ahead further than the current battle before his paws. Thrust from that life straight into leadership had been jarring, and he had tried to lead as a warrior rather than a leader. Always thinking, always contemplating... it had resulted in a few of the gravest mistakes of his life. The gray tabby cleared his throat and ducked his gaze a bit, feeling ashamed of all the times he had jumped to bloodshed and fighting as the answer to every little issue. Because Twilightstar was right; though he had not the experience the older leader did in fighting ShadowClan - and Dawnstar - he understood her. Some cats enjoyed the pain, regardless of winning or losing. Some cats bathed in the disturbed shadows and lashed out at any cat who tried to get them to see different. He understood, because not long ago he had been one of those cats.

The mentioning of owing debts... Kestrelstar once again felt his ears heat up in shame. "There will never be any debt between our Clans," he replied in agreement, his voice taking on that of a softer tone. "I... have not had the easiest time leading RiverClan. Sometimes I feel as though Lionstorm and Snakeheart selected the wrong cat for the job. I just... I didn't want RiverClan to be weak." Moving on a bit from ShadowClan, he was now remembering the fiery conflict with ThunderClan. Impulsivity had to be one of his worst traits, or so he was realizing. Looking back at Twilightstar, Kestrelstar nodded. "Now I understand better. I don't wish to do anything with leaf-bare so close, but something has to be done soon, before Dawnstar gets it in her head that he had us defeated - that will never happen under my leadership." Taking a moment the gray tabby drew in a breath, straightening his shoulders. "I'm grateful to know that I and RiverClan have yours and WindClan's support. I'm... sorry for all of the grief Dawnstar has caused you." He couldn't even begin to imagine. With the border attacks, RiverClan had managed to fight back and hold their ground with no deaths save for a few. WindClan... had not been as lucky.