[poppy]

Originally Posted by arden

Usually by this time Kestrelstar was up on his paws and weaving in and out of camp. Checking on things, surveying the territory - all part of his duties as the Clan's leader. But today he felt a headache right when he woke up, so the leader had been spending extra time staying in his nest. It was soft and comfortable ever since his recent trip to Cattail Pond to fluff it up a little. It was nice and perfect and -

Hearing a voice at the entrance of his den, Kestrelstar barely had any time to react to the flying leap that was Birdpaw. A startled squeak came from him as he watched her land square on his tail, sending a short stab of pain up his spine. Quickly he pulled it out from under the eager apprentice and had to force his expression to not glower down at her. "Birdpaw, hello," he greeted, though his jaws were clenched a bit. He had to remember that she looked up to him, as did some of the other younger members of the Clan. And for stars sake, he had to start to realize that he couldn't just be the grumpy tom they knew him to be.

As the chatter continued, Kestrelstar focused on making sure the forced smile stayed on his face. Her inquiry of his nest as compared to the apprentices den amused him, as they had access to the same materials he did if only the work was put into it. "I'm sure there are some feathers lying around camp that you could collect," he pointed out as he lifted a hind leg to do away with a scratch. Maybe he could find a warrior to host a nest-making event, something for the apprentices to do while leaf-bare mounted around outside them.

It seemed as though the nest topic was just a distraction, as Birdpaw put it. Regarding her with mild curiosity, Kestrelstar placed his leg back down underneath him and covered his paws with his tail. "What's on your mind?" he asked, disregarding the comment of him kicking her out.

Unaware of the potential irritation she was causing her buddy, the small ragdoll perched on the edge of her nest, her light stature and minimal weight preventing the edge of the nest to collapse. So good. Making an effort to seem as mature as possible, the apprentice took a deep breath, but as she summoned her courage to speak, her throat felt dry and her confession failed to come. She didn't want to lose her new home, because the woods would be so lonely... But Kestrel was her best buddy, he would never chase her out. What was she thinking? Silly Birdpaw. She should have realized he wouldn't kick her out.

''I um... I keep hearing things about StarClan. Fernmother, a long time ago, before she left, told me that it was basically where dead Clan cats died. If... if they believed. If they didn't believe in the Starcats, they would just disappear. And... And I don't believe. I don't know how.'' Her eyes felt wet, and she wiped her face to dry it. ''And I haven't told anyone this, because I'm worried about them not liking me anymore, but I don't believe in the Starcats. I'm... I'm really super sorry, Kestrel.''

Now he knew, and now she could stop lying to everyone. But what if he was angry? What if he chased her out? ''If... if you want me to leave, that's ok.'' Was it? No, but she didn't want to be a bother. ''I just wanna say goodbye to Silvernight and Reedbuddy and Plummy first...''