[spade]

Originally Posted by poppy.

Unaware of the potential irritation she was causing her buddy, the small ragdoll perched on the edge of her nest, her light stature and minimal weight preventing the edge of the nest to collapse. So good. Making an effort to seem as mature as possible, the apprentice took a deep breath, but as she summoned her courage to speak, her throat felt dry and her confession failed to come. She didn't want to lose her new home, because the woods would be so lonely... But Kestrel was her best buddy, he would never chase her out. What was she thinking? Silly Birdpaw. She should have realized he wouldn't kick her out.

''I um... I keep hearing things about StarClan. Fernmother, a long time ago, before she left, told me that it was basically where dead Clan cats died. If... if they believed. If they didn't believe in the Starcats, they would just disappear. And... And I don't believe. I don't know how.'' Her eyes felt wet, and she wiped her face to dry it. ''And I haven't told anyone this, because I'm worried about them not liking me anymore, but I don't believe in the Starcats. I'm... I'm really super sorry, Kestrel.''

Now he knew, and now she could stop lying to everyone. But what if he was angry? What if he chased her out? ''If... if you want me to leave, that's ok.'' Was it? No, but she didn't want to be a bother. ''I just wanna say goodbye to Silvernight and Reedbuddy and Plummy first...''

The hesitation that clogged Birdpaw was too obvious to miss, and Kestrelstar found himself frowning slightly. What had happened? Memories of the night he had found her, and she had spoken something to the effect of her mother coming to search for her. Had that happened? Had there been an outsider close to the nursery and not a single warrior had alerted him? Fire raged underneath his pelt as the leader fought to keep it flattened.

But no... it seemed that her concern stemmed from something completely different.

So, Birdpaw didn't believe in StarClan? He could at least understand - especially from a young cats' point of view. Hell, Kestrel himself didn't really believe in them. They were there, but they were nothing more than memories, than twinkly shining stars that blanketed the sky. They had given him his lives; nothing more, and nothing less. He hadn't ever really concerned himself with what his Clanmates believed or thought to be true, nor had he ever divulged his true beliefs with anyone outside of Snakeheart.

Heaving a soft sigh, Kestrelstar attempted to give her a soft smile. "It's a hard, and complex topic for young apprentices to understand. You grew up during the first few moons of life not surrounded by a Clan; belief doesn't usually come natural to those who do so." Stars, where was he going with this? At first he had felt connected to what he was speaking - now it was as if a tree had wedged himself back against a rock. "I'm not going to kick you out of the Clan for not believing. Being trained as a warrior calls for your loyalty to RiverClan, not StarClan." There, hopefully that would help settle her.

Originally Posted by Dizerel

Though, talking about Fierce did pull at the heartstrings a little bit for the big molly. Fierceroar had a time they were missing for a while, recently. And knowing that her former apprentice was missing made Junipersong pretty somber. After moving on from apprenticeship, the mentor and former apprentice hadn't done much together, and the thought of never having seen Fierce again made Junipersong regret not spending more time with each other. Hopefully she could change that for the future, if given the opportunity. She didn't want to dwell on it too much, though. She should focus on the here and now.

Junipersong took a good look around the den. Seeing what all Kes had done to the place. She remembered he was incessantly digging before when he had gone crazy. Wondering if that had a purpose and if it was visible. Also seeing if there were signs of any cats she would recognize. Any herbs from Snakeheart, perhaps? Or fresh kill brought in by anyone she knew? It was always interesting to ponder the lives that others had when you weren't looking. Though that might also be considered snooping.

She could sense his unease at the mention of Dawnstar. But it was an important thing to consider. Everyone had an issue with the corrupt leader, and even someone as empathetic as Junipersong understood that Dawnstar was, for the most part, evil and should be removed from leadership. However there is one thing that irks the big molly. "You know. Everyone is so insistent on removing Dawnstar from power or killing her. Do you think anyone has even tried to get to know her? To make things NOT about combat or killing and actually try to become friends? Maybe they have and I'm a mouse-brain but someone who grows up thinking that the whole world is against them is... well... going to try and fight the whole world."

And keep in mind, Junipersong would be the first to slit Dawnstar's throat if the Shadowclan leader tried to harm any of Junipersong's friends. Beneath Juni's soft exterior was a fiend just itching for a chance to go wild. A fiend that she didn't like. She kept it repressed, few knew about it, cause she chooses to be better than that. But it had its uses. Namely in protecting those she loved. Looking straight at Kestrelstar, remembering everything they have been through. She would not hesitate for a single second to claw and bite her way through every single cat in the other 3 clans if it meant protecting him.

Starting to make her way towards the exit. Sensing that it would be best to stop the conversation here for now, while everything was in good spirits. "Any time. If you need someone to talk to, no questions asked, you come and find me and I will drop everything I am doing. You got it?" She smiled. And if there was nothing else, she would take her leave.

Not under the radar was the way her gaze flickered around his den. Kestrelstar couldn't help but follow it, tracing over every little crevice and indent. He had spent many sleepless nights staring at the ceiling, the walls. Memorizing their patterns and the way that when the moon was close to full, light flickered in through the entrance and illuminated shadows against the back of the den. Though for the most part it was pretty barren. Save for a collection of a few things that Petuniapaw had brought him while he had been away.

Dawnstar was mentioned again and Kestrelstar felt himself stiffen. "I think... cats like Dawnstar turned away from any path of light a long while ago. Cats... they don't change unless they want to. Even if someone talks to them." Power hungry, driven solely by vengeance. No one had been able to talk Kestrel out of his violent rampage - not Snakeheart, nor Plumstorm or Stormtalon, not even Junipersong. He hadn't saw that he needed to change until his own actions came roaring in his face. Perhaps Dawnstar was the same.

Her leave to the den exit brought him back and Kestrelstar dipped his head. "Understood," he purred with a smile, a light flickering in the depths of his yellow gaze as he watched his friend leave.

Originally Posted by Kunaiskrill

Nightleap -->

She walked into the den. She carried a sunflower. "Kestrelstar?" she said. "I heard about Storm.. And I wanted to say, I know the pain you must be feeling. I just wanted to say that i'll stand by your side, and always be here in riverclan. I also brought you a sunflower, from that sunflower field I found when we were patrolling.. I was an apprentice." she said. "Anway, I hope you feel better." she said.
@arden

Dark. Everything that surrounded him was dark. The two nests that had now since occupied his den - one smelling of bitter herbs and the other of a particularly sweet scent - were empty as their occupants went about their daily life. Except Kestrelstar, who lifted his head from where it had been resting on his paws. His fur was ungroomed, eyes hollow, as he stared at Nightleap. He wanted to snarl at her, to tell her to get away, but his throat was dry.

So instead, he resorted to simply staring at her with slightly narrowed eyes, muscles tense. His yellow gaze dropped from her face to the sunflower she had brought him. Huh. He didn't recall whatever patrol she spoke of, and only gave a snort. "So you picked the sunflower, and now it will die." Dead panned. Matter-of-fact. Uncharacteristically depressed, even for Kestrel.

After a long moment, he looked back up at Nightleap. "...You know my pain. Ha." She knew what it was like to have her best friend ripped away? To not be able to apologize for all the things she had said out of spite; out of anger? Kestrel's claws dug into the ground to steady himself as he rose to shaky paws. Slowly, stiffly, he padded over to the sunflower and examined it. It was... disugsting. "Take it back." No emotion on his face, the anger having subsided. He didn't even look at Nightleap as he turned back around and padded back to his nest, slowly sinking back down into it.

Originally Posted by Ghostly Stars

[ @arden ]

Mistypaw padded towards the entrance of Kestrelstar's den, her paws being barely able to move. She had become very solemn now that she knew of Stormtalon's death. He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be. He had honestly all this time felt like a father to her, and she was not ready to let go. Definitely not. "Kestrelstar?" the apprentice whispered, for the first time in long opening her mouth to speak again.

Dread had filled every inch of him at the mere thought of facing Stormtalon's apprentice. Kestrelstar had put everything he could between himself and actually delivering the news - but he wasn't naïve enough to think he'd be the first to tell her. It would be evident enough in the absence of the dark gray tabby's presence. Always a face seen around camp, now whispers on the breath of those who still spoke of him.

And of course, those whispers had reached Mistypaw, if her voice at the entrance of his den was any indication.

Shrouded in shadows close to the back, the RiverClan leader swung his head around to look at her. Fear. Shock. Disbelief. All written clearly for him to see, and all striking him deep like some unimaginable pain that was, suddenly, all too real "Mistypaw..." His voice was rough, a representation of the desert that had extended its grip up his throat. What could he even begin to say to her? He had lost his kithood best friend, and she her mentor... Not lost on him was how close the two of them had grown. Swallowing, Kestrelstar remained silent, standing still before her.

- - - - -

Moons had felt as though they had slipped by in passing by the time Kestrelstar had made it back to camp with Plumstorm. Snow had stopped descending from the sky but somewhere between them getting up and reaching the entrance he had pressed his side against hers. For warmth, yes, but also the need to be close to her. A spark of hope had flickered within him that not all was lost, and right now her presence was keeping the dark thoughts at bay in his mind. Stormtalon was dead. Gone. Carried off by - no, Plumstorm. She was here. She was next to him.

"Thank you for coming back with me," he whispered to her, yellow eyes flickering around the still camp. Not a single set of paws were awake and a hushed silence had fallen over them as they both had stepped into the walls of the RiverClan camp clearing. As much as Kestrelstar wanted to believe that all of his Clan was, in fact, sleeping, he knew better than to negate all the night owls that seemed to be among them. And right now, whatever this... thing was, with Plumstorm, he didn't want other eyes on it.

He took a moment to glance at her - beautiful sparkling blue eyes, a gray pelt turned into a silvery fire under the wash of moonlight. A smile traced his features as he padded towards his den in hopes that she would follow him here. If she went into the warriors' den now, it would certainly awake those light sleepers, and he figured she wouldn't want the questions. So without words he flicked his tail for her to follow him.

As he ducked into the entrance of his den, Kestrelstar wasted no time in turning to face her. His muscles relaxed as he curved his head down in an attempt to press it against Plumstorm's. A soft giggle came from him, as if all the adrenaline he had felt piling up from the trek back to camp was finally crashing over him. An odd reaction, especially to be coming from Kestrel, but the tom felt as though his mind was clouded over. Breathing in her scent was like honey and chamomile; relaxing and calming. He needed her in order to not think about Stormtalon - he could grieve tomorrow. But for right now, the presence of her was enough. "Will you stay with me tonight?" A hushed question, yellow eyes opening and fixated on the molly that was beside him. Unaware of any onlookers in his den.

// @implimm @Rani [figure snake can react to this he he he]