[dino.]

Originally Posted by marni

Cinderstar
Ever since the patrol the two of them had been on, Cinderstar had felt this sort of... rift between them. Nothing had been done to really patch it up, though she had acted amicably with the tom since. Part of the words sued still weighed heavily on her mind paired with a twinge of regret. But perhaps too much time had passed, and bringing it up now would only serve to reopen a wound already healed.

"You're welcome to go where you please. I know your heart, Buckbranch. While it may have lost its direction once, I trust that it knows its path now." She kept her gaze on him, thoughtful and slightly inquisitive. There was obviously more to it than just being a walk, but Cinderstar didn't wish to pry. After all, he was a full grown cat and so long as he kept his vow made to swear loyalty to ThunderClan, she didn't see the harm in a walk - her and Sparrowflight were going to do the same thing whenever they both had a free moment to seek out and find Ridgeclaw.

Looking up above as a small light dashed across the sky, the leader let out a soft sigh. "I hope you know that your presence, and your willingness to stick with the Clan throughout all these past moons... it has not gone unnoticed. I want to thank you for taking some of my words to heart. Even though there were some which were spoken by mistake." She kept her gaze on the stars for now as she spoke, briefly wondering if he and his daughter had reunited yet. They had to, right? Icicleripple had been back in the Clan for some time now.

[ Apologies for the delay in this! ]

>Buckbranch<

He swallowed as she carried on, not bothering to look at her although he knew her gaze was on him. If they locked eyes this time, would she see the traitorous desire within them? To just... run away, and never look back. To let his paws carry him somewhere far away from the death, the burdens, the bloodshed, the guilt. To just lie down somewhere, find a family of his own, and finally be at peace.

It made his chest ache, how badly he wanted it.

Cinderstar moved on, and once more Buckbranch brought himself to shrug. "It's in the past. It hardly matters now. We need to focus on looking forward." Something remincisent of what he'd said to Duskfeather, all those moons ago. A piece of advice that he himself had also lost sight of in recent times, and as sad as it was, perhaps it had simply played a part in leading him to where he stood now: still wavering. Still unsure. But also confident that his heart knew where it wanted to go now, and he wasn't too keen on ignoring it any longer.

"...I won't lie," he added softly. "It's been... hard. Being back, not knowing what to do with myself or where to go. And I can feel myself drifting away again." Led away by warm and brilliant yellow eyes that held promise of unconditional safety and warmth.

It was so, so tempting. and Buckbranch was so, so tired, and he had never felt more torn.

"But I'm trying. I promise I'm trying. It's just... it's hard." Cinderstar truly had been a beacon in the dark for ThunderClan when they all needed her most, and he admired her, respected her, and trusted her to lead them down the right path, away from the crumbling precipice her predecessors had stranded them on. But Buckbranch was tired, and although it was no longer obvious like it once had been, he still couldn't help but wonder how long it would be until he finally turned away from his home altogether.

A sudden yawn gripped him, forced him to stretch his jaws wide and squeeze his eyes shut before allowing him to swipe his tongue across his lips. Jeez, how long had he been up...? He was exhausted. He cast Cinderstar an apologetic glance as he stood. "Sorry to leave you so quickly, but I am... I'm so tired. Good night."

He shook out his short fur and made for the warriors' den.