[SpiritedWarrior]

 

Originally Posted by Wingnettle

Sootfur (he/him)
Light grey tabby with blue/grey eyes



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Sootfur felt himself almost shrink under Flameheart's accusing glare. Even her calm, composed tone couldn't hide all the anger directed toward him... Toward me. He realized with shock. And still, she managed to speak with an apparently calm, but respectful tone, toward the scared Shadowclan queen. He watched her go, blinking once to wish her luck before watching her fluffy tail disappearing between the brackens that led to their camp.

In that moment, a powerful blow of emotions flowed out of Flameheart's mouth like a thunderstorm. He let himself being carried away, gasping for the harsh way he'd never seen from his mate until now, preparing himself for what would come next.

Words of exasperation came out from Sootfur as soon as he could open his mouth. "I couldn't choose anyone over you, Flameheart. But you were never here for me... Even when I left you a gift that day in your nest, you weren't there when I went to sleep." What was he saying? He couldn't control it. Everything was flowing within its own course, and Sootfur couldn't stop it anymore.

"You weren't there when I would wake up. You were always the first one to wake and get to work... Because you're the best Keeper and warrior in the clan." He almost choked on his own, last words. The memory of the last Gathering came back in his mind, and a powerful, black jealousy gripped his heart once more.

"Even at the Gathering you wouldn't find the time to come and see me... I saw you, with that black tom." I wouldn't take my eyes off you, but you were too busy to notice. His heart ached as he realized he was pouring off all his hidden sorrow at her. She didn't deserve this, but he couldn't do anything about it.

He sat down with a last, difficult breath, trying to regain a clear mind and find an answer for what he did.
"I know I made a choice I didn't have the position to make... I knew it back then, and I know it now." He looked at his paws, unable to bear Flameheart's terrible gaze on him. "But I guess... I couldn't choose anyone over you. If I couldn't tell you, I didn't want nobody else to know. Except for Sparrowstar, of course.." How stupid I sound. And yet he did know how true that was. Sootfur had been unable to recognize the dark thoughts that had led his actions. What if I had told her anyway? But it was too late, now.

He turned his back on her, feeling too ashamed to confront her anymore. Head sagging, he continued on, with a low, defied voice. "Maybe I was also... scared, that you would turn that cat back to that place. But when I looked at her..." This is going to be stupid, I know. He shut his eyes closed and continued. "..it was like watching you in another position. What if you were there, too? What if you had to... protect your kits?" He glanced finally at her, expecting a furious, dark green gaze on him.

[ @SpiritedWarrior (I hope this powerplay was legitimate, please tell me if you're not okay with it! I figured out Sootfur would be angry with her for beeing so distant with her Keeper's duties) @jupiter (if you're curious) ]

Flameheart

Confusion rippled through her gaze, covering the burning fire of anger in her green eyes. Part of her wanted to walk away from the conversation and forget it ever happened, but the other part wanted it to be resolved so both cats could move on from the situation. Sootfur was understandably feeling he and Flameheart have not seen or even talked to each other since her promotion and he felt distant from her.

"Sootfur, just because I'm not there when you wake up and I'm not there when you fall asleep does not mean I'm not in your life. I know I've been busy ever since my promotion, and believe me, I'm trying to balance everything out so you and I can have some time together."

She added in her view on the situation before Sootfur continued, trying to space everything out and not get herself or her mate upset further. "Shadowfur? That ShadowClanner? I wanted to get to know him since he's one of Dawnstar's Enforcers. And I wanted to go sit with you at the Gathering, really, I did. Seeing you talking to Dovefluff made me... a little upset. But only because you didn't even make the effort to come talk to me and get to know who I was talking to like I've done with you in the past."

Once the gray tabby tom sat down, Flameheart knew he was feeling guilty about the secret he kept from ThunderClan. In an attempt to seem less aggressive, the young Keeper sat down and softened her harsh gaze. "While I'm happy you have enough trust in me to be the only one worth going to in your mind, sometimes you have to put your needs above your wants and preferences. It's the harsh truth about being a Clan cat. I never wanted to handle so many issues, but I had to because no one else stepped up. I helped countless apprentices get the training they needed, I reprimanded apprentices and warriors for doing something harmful to their fellow Clanmates, I killed my brother to save a kits' life, I fought a RiverClanner because he trespassed on our territory. I never wanted to do any of that, but I did because it would keep the Clan safe and prosperous. And yes, I got a promotion due to how active I was around the Clan. Sootfur- I love you and I always will love you. Starting now, I will make sure to spend time with you. I was oblivious to your feelings, and I apologize. I swear it won't happen again."

Seeing her mate turn his back to her and continue talking in a low tone, Flameheart sighed and lowered her head to level with her mate. She stepped forward and wrapped her long, fluffy tail around Sootfur's shoulders and swiped her tongue on his cheek. "I see where you're coming from... some days I'm scared to. Scared Lotuspaw and Beanpaw would be angry at me for killing their father. And that will hang over my head like a cloud until the day comes when I tell them the truth. It's okay to feel scared, Sootfur. If I had the final say, Dovefluff would be welcome in ThunderClan. And I'm sure Sparrowstar will welcome her just like you promised. But you should never feel scared to talk to me. I'm you're best friend for life. There's nothing I would do to make you feel like you can't talk to me and express your thoughts and feelings."

"Look at me, Sootfur. I would never make you feel scared to talk to me. Whatever issues you have going on, I will be there. Just like you were there for me when I was comprehending my family's history. Do you understand?"