The enormous gray tom padded into the clearing muscles tense and grumpy expression extra mean today. Leechscar was having a rough go, rougher than usual. His luck with apprentices has been downright dreadful, the first one disappeared, and now, as his mother had informed him, Briarpaw had apparently drowned. The fact that she had drowned and he was not around is probably what bothered him the most. Despite having a strong dislike for the clans and their way, Leechscar would admit that he is rather complacent. He hated pretty much everything about the clans and their cult-like ways of thinking, but his blind dedication to his kin kept him from going anywhere. Not everything in a clan was terrible, the strong caring for the weak, defending their home, as well as learning the skills necessary to survive in the wild were all things Leechscar genuinely liked about the clans. He didn't dare even think about things he disliked about the clans, it'd be never-ending.
The tom's ears swerved in the direction of his mother's cry as she called for a clan meeting. Grunting softly, the young warrior stood up and began to slowly make his way over to the Breezerock. Regret sat heavily on his chest, sinking like a stone in a lake and settling uncomfortably deep within him. This guilt is ice in his guts. It could be a hundred degrees out and he'd still be frozen on the inside. He can't melt it on his own, he can't shift it at all. So though it's hard to move past his mistakes, he owns them and holds them as his own. He'd get over it, he was sure, he always did, or maybe not. Unlike most mentors, Leechscar's sense of responsibility was strong, so strong that it could rot and turn against him when failure was involved hence the accountability.
He hadn't a clue what he could have done about Mushroompaw vanishing, but Briarpaw dying! That was something different. He was not foolish enough to think that if he had been there he could have done something to save her. Death didn't work like that, and cats who believe they're strong enough to change it were arrogant featherbrains. No, what Leechscar felt so bad about was not being there for her. May she wouldn't have died if he had been there, and maybe nothing would have changed, but being there was the biggest problem for him. It was the same stupid feeling he got after learning Wolffang passed away without his knowledge. This was a hard feeling to shake.
As the tom neared the base of the Breezerock, tensed his muscles and joined the leader on top of the rock. He knew she wasn't mad at him, nor did she blame him, but this was the second apprentice that he's failed to complete their training. He felt enough disappointment and shame at himself for the lilac leader. Aside from his own little pity party, Briarpaw hadn't deserved to go like that. She was annoying, but bright and had her whole future ahead of her.
Sighing, Leechscar leaned his muscular frame against his mother's flank, today it was to soak up whatever comfort she could give him under the guise of keeping her warm. Leechscar kept his expression neutral and unperturbed as he settled beside Twilightstar. He had already offered to train another apprentice, although at this point wouldn't be surprised if Twilightstar turned him down with his track record. Still, he needed to keep busy, and teaching apprentices how to take care of themselves helped with that.