[iliri]

• Springpaw •
long-furred, oriental-shaped, gray-and-orange calico molly with blue eyes, torn right ear
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From upon hearing Dovefluff’s answer, relief quickly came through the young calico, a small smile growing among her maw. Springpaw shuffled her way next to Dovefluff and sat down quietly next to her, curling her long-furred tail around herself to avoid accidentally poking the older molly in the side. After she sat down, her ears were angled in the direction of Bumblestar as she continued the meeting, speaking about new Keepers and that Roosterflame was gone. Which, the thought made Springpaw’s smile adrift slightly. Why did they keep losing cats? Or rather, why did some cats leave and some just… kept on dying? She kept this thought to herself, obviously, but it felt like it needed an answer somehow. A quick sigh escaped from the young calico as she turned her head in the gray molly’s direction afterwards, her frown growing slightly from the older felines’ appearance.

She just looked so… down. So dull and done with existence. Her posture and tired eyes said it all. Springpaw mentally knew how the queen felt, even if she never had truly suffered a loss from the death of a loved one. A mere child, as of fact. Her lips quickly pursed as a certain memory flashed across her fumbled mind. A certain memory where she had nearly lost Autumnpaw when that hawk took off half her tail when they were only kits. She had only just been recently set with the responsibility to raise them by herself after her own mother had left. A quick pulse of shame had throbbed through the young calico, the tip of her tail twitching daintily. She was lucky that her sister was saved and didn’t have to suffer the cruel fate of being taken away by that gigantic predator. Springpaw couldn’t know what she would do with herself if she had been taken. All it would’ve resulted was with her carrying the guilt of her death among her shoulders and feel as if she caused her own sibling to die.

However, Dovefluff’s strained words caught the young molly to cast away from the memory, oceanic blues quickly glancing over at her direction. Springpaw blinked her eyes for a few seconds before frowning as her young mind contemplated the molly’s words. Training… that wasn’t something that was on the young molly’s mind. Not really at all. Not after the whole events at the old camp with the sinkholes. Springpaw could’ve swore that she felt a quick sense of dread overcome her from thinking about how she almost lost her mentor to one of those sinkholes. Springpaw could easily remember when Rabbitchatter told her to run and that he’ll catch up, only to result with him getting stuck in one of those holes. The whole thought only caused the calico to shut her eyes, exhaling sharply. Why did he have to not be here? Where was he at? Her mind screamed that he left and abandoned her, just as it had earlier, but she barely paid attention to the thought, though.

“I… Rabbitchatter hasn’t been around,” Springpaw stated, her tone quiet as she spoke, “neither has my siblings. Nobody’s been around.” Her voice was quiet, yet behind it carried much more pain than she could emotionally handle. A quiet hitched breath escaped her maw as she looked away from Dovefluff, shame overcrossing her expression. “My siblings aren’t here anymore and it hurts. They… I raised them like they were my own kits, after my own mother left me and my siblings alone and… gave me this.” She was quickly implying about the torn ear, briefly reaching a paw up to point at the tattered ear. “Seeing them gone just… hurts to know. Even I think that Rabbitchatter might be gone. He’s… he’s the one who taught me about trusting other cats again, and to see that not all adults are as bad as my mother. Yet… it hurts knowing that they are gone and to never be seen again. None of them are going to be seen again.” Her voice was quiet all the way through, her voice wavering and cracking as she controlled herself to not cry out in her pain in front of Dovefluff. Dovefluff witnessed enough damage with her own family as it is. She didn’t need to see Springpaw crying about her own losses.

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@jupiter