[poppy]

wip

"My first memory is of my mother and sister. Even though it was almost 175 moons ago, I still remember this clearly- I engraved it into my brain, it's one of the only things that I remember fondly from my youth."

Rosekit tumbled out of the nest and leaped on top of Snowkit, and they rolled around, wrestling and giggling aloud. Their mother lay in her nest nearby, watching them fondly. Goldenskies, but he didn't know her as anything other than 'mom'. Tiny white and gold paws pummeled him gently as his twin sister pinned him. She was smaller than him, runty for the age of 2.5 moons, but he allowed her to pin him down, the bright smile that bloomed on her face like the most beautiful flower was payment enough for his bruised ego.

"Snowkit! Don't stay like that, let's play again!" And that was how they spent the whole afternoon, wrestling and squealing with glee before they were too tired to go on, sleeping on the floor of the nursery like they usually ended up doing, because their mother couldn't be bothered to place them in the family nest.

"My sister didn't last long. She died suddenly when we were 5 moons old, I wasn't told how until later. My mom hardly spoke to me after that, I think it hurt her too much."

Snowkit sulked in the back of the nursery, wiping tears away as he clung to his sister's old toy- a mossball that was terribly crafted but still smelled like her. His mother had moved back into the warrior's den the day of Rosekit's death, and many queens had tried to coax him into their own nest, as the nights grew colder, but he turned them all down, sleeping in the nest that smelled like his family.

"My aunt became my mentor when I became an apprentice, and suddenly, my distant, neglectful father became very involved in training and everything. I won't go into details, but the training sessions weren't exactly ethical. They were both abusive assholes, I'll just leave it at that."

"Auntie, Dad, I-I'm tired. And my legs hurt, I'm tired of running." Snowpaw whined after two hours of relentless conditioning. He hated running. He didn't care if it would possibly save his life in the future. It was annoying, and it hurt his stomach, and it wasn't even fun. Running seemed like it was going to kill him rather than do him any good. His aunt stepped back, glancing at his father, and his father looked at him, a scowl on his scarred face.

You have to be strong. You need to be twice the warrior everyone else is, for Rosekit. For yourself. Bring honor to your family and your Clan. Long story short, Snowpaw kept running.

"Training was tough, it never got easier. I would master one thing, and we'd move on to something else. I basically had two mentors, my father never missed a session. It made me a better warrior, but I got tired of having to be everything. Maybe that's why I did what I did."

Snowpaw looked up at the leader of RiverClan, proudly lashing his tail. Goldenskies was nowhere to be seen, missing yet another milestone- which wasn't surprising -but his father and aunt were front and center, smiling with pride. Not proud of him, but proud of themselves. Egotistical and arrogant as always, the fact that he got his warrior name at 11 moons was making them explode with love with themselves.

Snowhawk nodded to the leader, face growing warm as his family members proceeded to congratulate his aunt and father. Curtly nodding to any of the other peasants that didn't share his blood, he brushed out of camp, going hunting to calm himself. Hunting turned into tearing the fish he caught into shreds, kicking the prey into the water after eating his share. Why provide for a Clan that meant nothing to him?

"I was angry, I was hurting. I was young. I thought I had years ahead of me. But would catch up to me soon, and I wouldn't even live to see newleaf. Would it be twisted to say that it was for a good cause?"