[iliri]

• Springpaw •
long-furred, oriental-shaped, gray-and-orange calico molly with blue eyes; torn right ear
Purrks: Herbal Knowledge - Tier 2 | The Collector [active] | Mind Reader [active]
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Again, the irritation that swept off from her leader was more than enough to make Springpaw’s long fur prickle with unease. As much as the calico had despised the bitter feeling, irritation wasn’t something that could be concealed once it had climbed its way out of its bitter shell. Once it was loose in the world, it couldn’t be stopped just as easily as a flick of a tail. Her throat clenched as soon as she saw the pebble narrowly miss Bumblestar’s forehead right before the leader had tucked before she had gotten smacked in the head by a tiny pebble. Didn’t a similar situation like this happen at another meeting a moon ago? Wasn’t it some sort of childish game that her clan-mates were playing? “Toss the Pebble''? Whatever it was, Springpaw didn’t want to dwell on it for far too long. The issue mainly seemed to be solved by Violetfreckle herself when she called out to both of the warriors in question who were involved in the little rebuttal—Dawnshred and Fallenreed. Both warriors weren’t really cats that she knew well, but she knew Fallowreed well enough from a while before when the young molly had offered herself to go with the medicine apprentice to go collect some marigold to help replenish the herb stockpile itself. The brief moment of thought about the herb storage was more than enough to make Springpaw shoot a quick glance towards the narrowed entrance of the tree den. She was going to need to speak with Drizzlecloud about seeing if they could potentially send out any more patrols about scouting out a couple of herbs that were definitely needing restocked within the storage; marigold being one of them. Not only that, but she had been wanting to do some potential experimenting that could help her learn about any new properties that any of the herbs could do within the storage itself.

Bumblestar’s beaming voice was quick to seamlessly break through her thoughts as Springpaw whipped her head back up towards the direction of the Stormcrest, both her ears and eyes alert as she listened to the outburst of an command that she gave to both of the warriors who decided to act like impulsive apprentices like at the current meeting. Springpaw couldn’t really bear much sympathy for both of the warriors for the sudden punishment being laid down on them; they were acting up like kits and it needed to be looked at. Casting a side-eye towards both of the departing warriors, silently regarding the indignant remarks that both Bumblestar and Violetfreckle carried towards their behalf. They both deserved it for trying to disturb the meeting, after all. Hearing as Bumblestar moved onto other news, Springpaw’s throat muscles squeezed tightly as her tail slightly lashed in its place. Right, the whole ‘Cracklepaw incident’ at the gathering was definitely not going to go unnoticed without it being mentioned at least once or twice. What in the world type of idiotic stunt was the small-minded apprentice even trying to pull anyways? Only just worsen the way the stakes were between ThunderClan and practically the rest of the clans? A hot, boiling surge of emotions throbbed through Springpaw, making her bushy tail whisk as if it were embedded with flames. However, the pastel calico ultimately managed to keep herself concealed, only silently bracing a paw along the coarse ground as her ears listened to the distant whistling of the cool early leaf-fall air rush through her system.

She didn’t wanna lie, but the warm colors of the trees turned a deep russet red alongside the darker ranges of amber and gamboge were much more favorable to take in with her peripheral vision than just the simple deep leprechaun greens from the lushly trees and thrushes within the territory. It almost seemed to give her a simple sense of belonging as she looked at the rods of the yawing branches trolling the trees. It was so early into the new season, yet it was already showing its true colors beneath the bright neon greenery of the greenleaf leaves. Springpaw could almost smile at it. She could just smile and allow her other senses to take in the vast scenery of her current surroundings. However, Bumblestar’s rantings broke through the medicine cat apprentice’s thoughts as Springpaw maintained her blue gaze along her fiery green. Right, Bumblestar had been speaking about Cracklepaw’s punishment for causing a major scene at the gathering itself. Or, rather Cracklekit, as the tom-cat seemed to be demoted to be Cracklekit for the next moon or until his behavior has finally improved to a point where he can reclaim his apprentice status. Now? He had to remain permanently stuck at camp for the time being and had to be watched over like a young kit before he could finally prove to Bumblestar that he was worthy of regaining his apprentice status. It would be something that would be considered sympathetic, but Springpaw couldn’t feel remorseful for the tom-cat. He made a fool of himself in the first place, and actions always had consequences.

The rest of what her leader had to say only brought inaudible chills up Springpaw’s spine. Of all of the fears of what she was expecting the leader to talk about, she wasn’t prepared for Bumblestar to speak about the foxes that lunged around Herondive Hollow. The sudden memories of the flesh-hungered beasts still clung to her just like she had witnessed them yesterday. Her lips felt like they were bound to quiver, her snow-white paws sinking low into the coarse dirt below as her sharp claws pricked and pricked at the life-rich soil. Her nostrils felt overwhelmed by the sudden metallic stench that engulfed her dream, her eyes squeezing shut so that she could be ignorant to the pungent memories plaguing her mind. She had to listen to the meeting at hand, and just ignore the memories that plagued her mind like a wipeout of white-cough, even if she hated it. Sucking in a deep, chilled breath of air, Springpaw opened her eyes once more as her muscles slowly began to relax against her features. Her long fur pressing against her small body once more by reflex as a sudden gush of cold air blasted through her body like a sharp thorn. Right, don’t let herself look so vulnerable in public. She’ll be considered weak then. Weak and insecure. The vile words echoed in her mind like pungent snakes, making her eyes scan around the clearing once more to see if anyone had bothered to take notice of the scene she withheld. Thankfully, no one bothered to see her, so that was something that she could at least be comfortable with.

Well, that was until the calico had realized that she was still placed beside Fireflypaw herself, who the medicine cat apprentice had noticed began to speak to her again after the calico apprentice had asked her if she was alright, and for the stars above the young tortoiseshell looked absolutely distraught. Her gentle eyes glazed with tears as her lip trembled and quivered when she spoke. Poor thing. Springpaw’s lips curled into a frown as she listened to the rather depressing response that she received from the young tortoiseshell, an old feeling hitting her all too well. Abandonment. It was a bittersweet feeling that Springpaw knew all too well; almost like an old friend that you sincerely wished hadn’t made a comeback. That was what abandonment was. Fireflypaw’s words were something that Springpaw herself had endured from a long time ago: Her birth giver, her unknown father, her siblings, Rabbitchatter… the feeling was all too mutual to accomplish. “I understand,” she finally spoke, unleashing the edge that creeped to her voice as her eyes trailed up towards the Stormcrest, watching as Bumblestar leapt off the large stone and descended into her lichen-covered log den, watching the stilled entrance for a brief moment of silence before focusing back towards the scrawny tortoiseshell beside her, allowing the young molly to take in her brief wording before continuing.

“As hard as it is, I understand the feeling of abandonment too. You weren’t the only one abandoned by your loved ones… as I was too,” she amended, her voice tracing with sorrow as her blue eyes lifted up towards the vibrantly blue sky; bits of puffy white clouds slowly drifted by as the cool breeze waved along her fur. “I used to have siblings and a family before I met my mom, Dovefluff. They were my everything after my… birth giver left. I was always terrified of the nursery because of what she did to me back then when I was only a young kit. You see this ear?” She paused for a moment to use a paw to point at the tattered ear that remained permanent along her head, eying the tortoiseshell carefully to see if she was listening. “She gave me that. She’s the one who caused it and left me and my siblings to fend for ourselves without the help of a guided adult. It wasn’t easy, but I tried. I took care of those three like they were my own kits: bathing them, watching them, scorning them. When we all became apprentices, I wanted us to stick together… that didn’t last too long,” Springpaw averted her gaze away from Fireflypaw for a moment to gather her thoughts, her lips pursing into a frown as a snow-white paw lightly drifted along the soil below, her claws leaving disturbance below. “They all left before we had to move to this new camp. I was scared. I was terrified. I was… alone. I had my mentor back then but he left alongside them. It’s not easy to ease this pain alone, Fireflypaw. It hurts worse than hell and sometimes… I wish the family that I lost could come back as well.”

She gave the young tortoiseshell a small, gentle smile as she explained her part of her little story, hoping that the tortoiseshell would see sense to it. Hopefully, if that was going to be the case. “It’s going to take a long time for that wound to heal that developed from all the past trauma that you witnessed. Trauma leaves such a permanent scar in the brain towards your mental health and it does things that simply can’t be helped, but can be coped with. I still have my own things that I have to solve, but it takes time and effort to succumb past all the troubles that you bore from the past. Does that sound clear to you?” Springpaw eyed the scrawny molly carefully as she gently placed a paw along her shoulders, gently rubbing into her shoulder-blades to hopefully bring some form of comfort to the young tortoiseshell herself. They both were so alike in many ways, more than one, and yet Springpaw could only withstand so much knowledge for the young tortoiseshell to bear herself. She shouldn’t hold so much to the point where it would be difficult to withstand for her to have. “However, with the conclusion of this meeting, I would like to see your presence in the medicine den whenever you get the chance. Don’t hesitate to come by in case you have anything that is bothering you or if you just want to talk. I’ll always be free to help in any way I can. I promise.”

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@poppy. [entirely optional to respond to this]