[Neptune.]

*-Asterpaw-*
21/100
he/him || 8moons || no purrks
Lanky, flame point siamese with heterochromatic eyes

Piercing words spoken with a face as stony as the Stormcrest itself reached him, and Asterpaw visibly shrunk back, his first open sign of trepidation, of fear, of uncertainty at his place in the clan. Was that what everyone thought about him? He thought he was doing something good by sticking up for his leader's decisions, and he knew that he'd be scolded by the one he questioned, but Eveningdance's words struck exactly at Aster's weak point, where all his insecurities rested buried and hidden, tucked away where only Aster could see them and, even then, where he chose to ignore them. Had he really said something so wrong? It was one thing to be protective over a grieving cat, but it was another thing to disregard that the cat is grieving a murderer. No matter what way Aster looked at it, he simply did not understand how a cat could be upset that a murderer is dead.

"Learn your place, outsider." the words echo around in his skull, a mantra of doubt and fear and confirmation that cats do not think he really belongs here. Does everyone think such a thing? Outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Maybe Eveningdance is right... maybe he is an outsider to them all still, maybe he does not deserve to speak or to show his face here anymore... But he needs to be here! Aster can't understand why, but there's something in his heart that is screaming at him to stay, to show them all that he's one of them, part of this clan and can help in any way they need!! If he leaves here, he has nothing, no twoleg home to go back to, no skills to rely on to survive, he's as good as dead if he exiles himself.

Looking around, Aster tries to gauge what the rest of the clan thinks, if they also agree with Eveningdance's words, but his mind is too far gone into hypotheticals, too certain that they all agree with the tom. But Aster won't leave the meeting until dismissed. He wants to cry. Wants to curl up in his nest and hide. He wants to run away and start fresh somewhere else, but he puts on a brave face and squares his shoulders again before directing a guarded gaze elsewhere.

__________

[ eveningdance - silverwynds ]
[ open for anyone else teehee ]