[taillow]

REDHAWK
she/they | thunderclan hornet | 33 moons

Sunset-Bird. She was still Sunset-Bird in the eyes of Muddy and it made her heart swell with love. A purr started within her as the tripod helped her get situated and she leaned against her friend. They were warm and inviting and made her forget how badly her paw was twisted and all of the daily pain that had come with it since the last Gathering.

Her ears half-listened to Bumblestar as the leader began announcements, though her head swiveled to Mudhound as they spoke. She couldn't help but grin. "I would love t-that. I want to t-try to get back out t-there as sss-soon as I can." Despite the fear that lingered, Red still felt safe within ThunderClan territory. And as long as she had Muddy with her, she knew she would be safe.

More announcements and - Bluekit? Redhawk craned her neck to see who that might be. As the cat was led out of the medicine den by Wolfhive, the hornet gave her a soft smile and watched as - oh! That must be Crowpaw's sister. Suddenly the hornet's heart fluttered with hope. Maybe... Maybe now Crowpaw would stay? Their conversation at the border still hung in her head. Maybe he would stay, and he would tell Bumblestar what he had told her, and he could be a warrior that not only himself, not only Bluepaw, but ThunderClan could be proud of.

What a shame that his next words undid all of it, and caused Redhawk's heart to shatter into pieces before she could have a chance to prepare.

"Why?"

She couldn't help it. The look on her face clearly displayed the betrayal she felt as Redhawk got to her paws shakily. Yellow-green eyes were fixated on Crowpaw as she limped forward from Mudhound's side. Her eyes never left her apprentice as he made the vow - and even requested a new name. Crowsong. Red had to think for a moment before it came back to her. Sweetsong. He was not only leaving this Clan, but he was taking on a name after a RiverClan cat... he had only met in his dreams. If she wasn't so devastated, she might feel the anger that simmered in her belly as she came up to stand next to him, staring at him desperately.

"I thought... I thought t-that maybe this day, y-you would sss-start to sss-see T-ThunderClan for t-the Clan it has b-become. A C-Clan that has changed its w-ways since your f-fath- since Thrushstar was our leader. I t-thought that, d-despite all of t-the harsh words you sss-said about me, and a-about ThunderClan, you would sss-see... all I have ever w-wanted was for you to sss-succeed, as a warrior - as a T-ThunderClan warrior."

Stars, it hurt. Immeasurable grief rose up around her and threatened to swallow her where she stood. Her whole body shook now and tears started to slip past her eyes. Why couldn't he see? Why did he find so much more love with a cat he didn't even know was real beyond his meetings with her at the border? "SSS-Sweetsong... how well do you know her, Crowpaw? SS-She... sss-she might not even be who you think she is. But Crowpaw... I'm real. T-ThunderClan is real. T-Things have changed. B-Bluepaw has returned... and you c-can't even sss-stay for her?" And then, because she hadn't gotten to say it at the border, Redhawk blinked as more tears fell. "You t-told me t-that no cat h-here would save y-your life. But I d-did, Crowpaw... I did..." Why wasn't that enough?

Part of her felt terrible for doing this in front of his sister, but the words wouldn't stop coming out. Redhawk felt betrayed, heartbroken. All of the effort she had put into making sure Crowpaw felt like he fit in... None of it had mattered. He just... didn't care. Didn't care to try, didn't care to see... After a moment, the hornet shook her head and turned to look at Bumblestar. She was scared, because she knew she should've come forward sooner. But she was here now. This home, what it had been built into... Crowpaw didn't deserve the title of warrior. Didn't deserve a name. Perhaps before her injury she wouldn't have said anything. But this felt unfair.

"Crowpaw t-told me he's been sss-seeing a RiverClan cat; SSS-weetsong. T-That he's bonded with h-her and... and w-would die f-for her. I d-don't... I don't think he w-will stay in T-ThunderClan. Bumblestar, I... I'm sss-sorry I didn't come to you b-before, but..." Looking back at Crowpaw, the anguish giving way to dull disappointment. "...I t-thought he would've finally... opened his eyes..."

And then she fell back on her haunches, deflated, as she stared blankly at Crowpaw. The tears fell silently, and despite wanting to move she found she couldn't. Was this her fault? It had to be. She could've tried harder, helped him settle in more. Listened. Not have shut down when he was mean to her. She could've... could've...

[ Crowpaw - @SpiritedWarrior ] [ Mudhound - @Rani ]