[Rani]

Bluepaw

Thunderclan Apprentice| She/her | 14 Moons | Primal Instincts

The black and blue tabby had rolled her eyes at Crowpaws continued self blame (a flaw she'd completely forgotten about that was not coming back to her) but smiled none the less, something visceral in her relaxing at his words. They had time, all the time in the world to demolish this stupid idea of her brothers, all the time in the world to share what riverclan had done to Bluepaw and plan revenge against those monsters. All the wonderful happy time they needed.

Until they didnt. After all, the higher you rose, the higher you could fall from.

Bluepaw had been dancing on her paws, beaming like the kitten she hadnt been in so long though a tad confused by his chosen warrior name. It wasnt confusion that he'd chosen for himself (that wasnt an idea that the apprentice couldnt care either way about) it was who he was naming himself after. She didnt know thunderclan well enough to know if Crowpaw had a friend (or girlfriend!!!) in the clan after that name but also why did he phrase it like that? That is where things came crashing down.


Crowpaw had said bad things about thunderclan? Crowpaw had been mean to this crying cat who obviously cared a lot about him? Crowpaw had a thing about some cat called Sweetsong who wasnt real? Bluepaw heard her name but still understood nothing, what was going on?

She didnt like the full story. She really didnt.

Blue/gold eyes blew wide and the molly froze in place, face falling as her mind reeled abruptly feeling like she was facing Thrushstar again being abandoned by him. Because if what this cat was saying was true, she was being abandoned again. For riverclan.

"S-shes lying right? C-Crowpaw big brother shes lying? Tell her the truth! You were joking, it was a misunderstanding, you'd NEVER be with one of those monsters in riverclan! Y-you wouldnt leave me! I just got home, we're finally together and a family again, you wouldnt leave me! TELL THE TRUTH CROWPAW Y-YOU GOTTA ITS NOT TRUE!"
The apprentice was wailing, thrashing her head about and she shook it, willing this to not be true, before she stared her brother dead in the eyes.
And knew that it was all true.

~Purrk Mind Reader Gained!~

Bluepaw screamed. She'd been crying since things clicked, she realized that now but distantly it didnt matter. Her brother was going to leave her, he was with one of those monsters in riverclan and part of her wanted to hope he just didnt know how they were but he'd lived through their atrocities to thunderclan even if he didnt know their actions towards her. He knew how they were, and he didnt care. WHY DIDNT HE CARE!?!?

"How could you! HOW COULD YOU HOW COULD YOU HOW COULD YOU!!!!!! THEYRE MONSTERS!! THIS IS YOUR HOME, THUNDERCLAN HAS BEEN SO KIND AND GOOD AND YOU'D LEAVE THEM AND ME TO GO TO THOSE VILE CATS!!!

THEY DID THIS TO ME CROWPAW!!! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MY FACE, MY BODY, MY EYE!!! I WAS 9 MOONS OLD AND LOOKED LIKE A CHILD, I HADNT EVEN CROSSED THEIR BORDER, I'D JUST CAUGHT A FISH IN SIGHT OF ONE OF THEM AND THEY DID THIS TO ME!!

I DONT UNDERSTAND! WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE ME FOR THEM?!?WHY WHY WHYWHY WHY WHY!!!!"

The molly wailed and screamed at her brother, chest heaving on sobs as her voice cracked and broke around her words, feeling so small and lost and alone like she had when Thrushstar had abandoned her. No, she'd had Crowpaw then and now she didnt. This was the moment where a young and helpless kitten had realized she was alone and undefended in a wilderness she didnt recognize, and that her big brother wasnt going to come to save her.

Crowpaw couldnt save her from his own actions, and frankly Bluepaw wasnt sure she wanted him too when from now on she'd flinch away from any movement to touch her from him that not 5 minutes ago she'd been basking in.

Her eyes were blurred with tears, her chest wracked with sobs, claws out and dug into the ground in a desperate bid to keep herself steady, and her heart was hollowed out and empty, not even able to break.


@SpiritedWarrior