[Estelle]

 

Originally Posted by Neptune.

Cinderpaw
~<>~
21/100
8 moons || she/her || ShadowClan Apprentice
small black tabby with minimal white markings and 3 legs; amber eyes
[ cw: elements of internalized ableism ]

New camp, new camp, new camp... the words reverberate around Cinderpaw's head again and again as she maps out every inch, clearing away debris or twigs or anything that a kit might trip over. This she is good at. This she can do. The one thing she can do is this. It's not... a glamorous job. But there's pride somewhere in being a camp keeper. Grandmama wouldn't approve. She knows that. Deep down (maybe not that deep down) Cinder doesn't really approve either. But what else can she do? What else is she good for? She isn't whole like everyone else! And even those who aren't whole, like Mistlewhisker, they seem perfectly fine, so what's wrong with her? Why is Cinder somehow the exception to getting around disability just fine?

There is little else to do, now. She'd already gone around the clearing twice now, and picked up all that she could, she'd inspected the walls of all the dens as best she could, looking for imperfections or damage. But they were all newly made, there wasn't anything to repair. And so Cinder finds herself... hovering in place. She is not sure what her next step is supposed to be, but she's antsy, and she feels restless with nowhere to put that energy.

Part of her wants to sit in the company of a friend but... she doesn't really have any of those. Or maybe in the presence of family, but the problem with that was that she isn't sure if her family even likes her, so there's little use forcing a relationship if it never existed in the first place. And if they want to talk to her..? What'll she do then? Her words are locked so far away she doesn't even remember how to speak at this point! Would they be upset that she's still not very good at signing either?

Just as she's deliberating what to do, eyes scanning the clearing for a place to escape to, amber eyes lock with Sleepypaw's blue, and Cinderpaw freezes in place, unsure of herself and whether or not to make the first move and approach.

[ @Estelle - sleepy // @furrensic - if you wanted quill to come bother them lol ]

Watching. Observing. She had been busying her days but today, in this moment, vibrant blue eyes were watching a younger feline from the shadows. Cinderpaw; reserved, unspoken, distant. Sleepypaw had no particular relation with any of her siblings, and yet, sometimes, she found herself thinking… She should. They were her responsibility as much as they were mama’s, she had come to think, and she had not been fulfilling her duty of a big sister well.

That is why, when Sleepypaw took notice of Cinderpaw cleaning the clearing – checking it’s surroundings – being responsible, she paused. She watched. Sleepypaw could’ve helped, but what if this was a duty given by Miss Grandmama, or mama, or Cinderpaw’s mentor? What if this was training? Cinderpaw seemed to be doing a good job by herself – Sleepypaw wouldn’t intrude.

Still, when the younger apprentice finished and their eyes suddenly locked, vibrant blues stared back at gentle ambers without movement (without blinking), waiting until Cinderpaw did something.

Moments passed by, it felt like an eternity had passed, when the black and white-tufted apprentice finally rose from her position, silently prowling closer to her younger sister, face dull. Reaching Cinderpaw’s side, Sleepypaw came to stand opposite her – silent for some seconds – before she uttered a single word of praise.
“Good.”


[ @furrensic ]