[Dolomedes]

Sunflowerswirl
|| She/her | ThC Warrior | Moons: 15 | No Purrk ||

TW: Internalized hatred, uhhh hatred of heritage, Insecurity

Oh dear. Umm... Sunflowerswirl wasn't really sure how quickly things had gotten out of paw. One moment she was padding over to her apprentice planning to ask if he wanted to head out for some training only to overhear his and Flowernose's words about her... which... really, really, really hurt. It shouldn't have. They weren't even that bad, but they hit really deep. Straight into her insecurities and wasn't that pathetic. All it took was too call her lazy and she wanted to cry but she knew the stereotypes about kittypets and she had thought that her clan was pretty accepting of those with past kittypet blood but that didn't stop the worms of bad thoughts from digging into her brain like they would soil. It's just... She blinked and watched as Risingstorm and Wolfhive... and she made a note to apologize and thank the hornet later. It was her fault that this mess started in the first place. Maybe she had been lounging about more than she should but...

But she has been going on solo patrols, and had even taken Antpaw out for his first lesson not too long ago which went well enough she thought, she was working on her own abilities as a warrior when she could... but she could be doing more couldn't she? Yeah. What did she know about being a warrior, she was part kittypet! She didn't know anything and her entire existence goes against the warrior code for stars sake! Sunflowerswirl blinked and looked towards Wolfhive and Antpaw, that was for the best... if Wolfhive took him out, Antpaw would be happier and she wouldn't pass on anything bad to him while teaching. This was for the better. It still hurts. Ugh, she was such a mess, and a crybaby, this shouldn't be getting to her as much as it is but it is. She should go out for another solo patrol. That's better than sitting in the warriors den and trying to understand herself when she has already tried so much, nothing makes sense when you think about it too hard. Sunflowerswirl fell under that.

The warrior took a deep breath in and then looked around again, though she was really processing. Before she turned and started her way towards the camp's entry so that she could go out and hunt or something. She needed to clear her head.

[ @BEAR. - Wolfhive | @bigbxdwolfz - Antpaw | @Bluest+r~
- Flowernose, Hawkthorn | @Spider. - Risingstorm ]

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