[Star]

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Hawkpaw
Dilute tortoiseshell she-cat with forest green eyes
She/Her | 13 Moons| + every 15th | ShadowClan Apprentice | Has a huge personality; Ambitious and slightly narcissistic
[9/100]

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.
There she went again, throwing herself in stuations she couldn't quite escape from. This was just how she was, wasn't it? Duskpaw had a good reason to be mad at her. A very good reason. And Hawkpaw--the name left a strange, hollow space in her mind--did not deserve forgiveness. And for the first time in forever, she admitted to everything. Her flaws. Flaws that she would brush over, because she was "simply the best".

"I don't deserve your forgiveness, Duskpaw. And I'm not saying this to earn it, either," she paused. There were so many things she wanted to say. But she just couldn't. How could she? Ignoring completely about the rather shocking and sudden news about Cougarbite's disappearance and Larkfire's death, she continued. She couldn't worry about that now. Duskpaw was the only one important... As of now. "I was young and foolish when I left, you know that. I was just... A stupid kit in an apprentice's body. I'm so sorry for... Leaving you alone in the dark to fight the world by yourself."--Was this the right choice of words?--"I'll never leave you. Ever. You're my sister. And I've always loved you. And I will continue to love you for as long as we're both alive. It was my fault for not being able to be there for you. It had been one of my life goals. To protect you. But... You have every right to be mad at me. You have every right to hate me, if I'm being honest. It's all on me. I'm sorry. I never should've left."

But you did.

Shut up.

"I'm sorry for being the arrogant and inconsiderate kit I've been my whole life. I'm sorry for not being able to protect you. I'm sorry for... For not being there for you when you needed me. I'm sorry. I really am. I-I'm... Not sure if I can explain how... Sorry I am in words," she refused to let the tears spill. Not right now. Not when she was supposed to be the strong one. She stepped back. "I don't deserve you, Duskpaw. You deserve so much better."

{ @gayvinegar }
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