[lone]

Originally Posted by NoireRose

She licked her maw, and flattened her ears. Featherspeckle didn't want to think she disappointed him, but she felt as if she did. She whimpered, ''I'm sorry. I-I-I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. One moment, I'm fine, and the next I'm sooo sad. I'm just...stressed.'' She plopped down, tired of walking. She wanted to have a mental breakdown, but she made it this far. And, she wasn't going to cave in for her mind to take over her. Featherspeckled picked herself up, and seeing a nearby small pond, she padded up to it, and sat down on her haunches. She didn't know if Martenthorn followed her or not, but at that point, she wanted everyone to leave.
''I just...I'm depressed one moment, and the next, I try,'' She swallowed a lump in her throat to keep from crying. ''I try so, so hard to be happy...or to keep myself away from other cats. You know, cats don't want to be around a cat that brings them down.'' She huffed. Her fur was light, but her heart felt heavy. She looked down at her reflection, and clawed at the water in anger. She splattered at the water, and even after hearing those nice things Martenthorn said about her, she couldn't believe them. ''I'm never going to be worth anything.'' She said, feeling vanquished of power and energy, and she refused to look at the water. Especially the reflection that made her angry. ''You want to know?'' She turned to stare, ''You want to know that I think everyday I should just go to a ledge and jump off? How I constantly dream of letting go?'' Okay...the tears were definitely there. She felt her pelt becoming moist. Was she sweating? No, she wasn't. Perhaps some of the water got onto her fur.
''You want to know about the voices as well?'' She mused, kicking a nearby rock into the pond. ''The way I'm always second guessing myself...the way I feel so empty...because I was once in love...because I did anything for love, when that no good, low-life, low-down piece of crowfood...!'' Her claws were out. She was ready to lash at something, but she had to maintain herself because of her new potential friend.
She wondered if he was going to stay.
Or if she ran him away.
Either way, she wondered if she would stay.
Or if she would run away.
She already told him too much, and that's not even half of it. Truth be told, her first love never been apart of a clan, but she could vividly see that rambunctious tom again, his green eyes glowing, and the way he lied to her effortlessly, and the way she allowed herself to be satiate by those lies.
She retracted her claws, and closed her eyes.
She didn't want to admit that she felt it heavy on her, or that she felt pressured. Either way, she let a little out. And, a little was enough.

The Abyssinian's hues were constantly growing wider, and finally, they softened. He listened to her speaking, though his expression was always gentle through her words. He knew she was hurting. He knew she was tired, and scared...and he knew that she was worried. But it was going to be alright. He wanted to make her believe that, he just didn't know what a good way to show her that everything would be alright would be. He didn't know what to do. There was nothing that he could do. Besides not run away. Right now, the best-- and only-- thing that he could do was stay right beside her, and show her that he wasn't going to run away. That he was here, and he was here for her. That was the one and only thing that he could do. After she was finished speaking, Martenthorn took a breath and padded up beside her, looking at her as though she were the only thing he could see. The only thing that he wanted to see. And that was important, because he knew it would make her feel like he really cared...which he did, but he wasn't always sure of how to show it. He sighed, looking down at the water through which she had passed a moment before. And now he knew what he was going to say, what he needed to say to show her that no matter what, she would always have one friend who cared.

And that would friend would be him, he would stay by her, and he would support her through whatever she needed. He couldn't promise that he would stay forever. He couldn't promise that he would be there in a minute. Something could happen any second and either one of them could die, or be seriously hurt while the other might have something important to do. But he could promise her that as long as he could, he would stick by and support her. "You want to know something, Featherspeckle? There are many, many cats who have been the same place you're at right now. There are so many cats who want to just jump off that ledge you mentioned. And I know-- because I've been there before." He mewed, glancing at the she cat with compassion showing in his hues.

He knew that he couldn't possibly completely understand what the female was going through, but he was getting a pretty good idea. He knew that there were struggles that each individual went through on their own, and he couldn't know what her experience had been. "But I'll tell you, if you do jump, you could hurt yourself very badly. I know you think it's going to be worth it, but it won't-- not unless you trust that there's someone there to catch you at the bottom." He hadn't personally jumped, but he remembered someone telling him the same thing a few moons back. The irony in it was that it was the same she cat who had rejected him, left him...so he wasn't sure whether the advice he was giving her was completely true and reliable or not. "I wish you could see yourself the way that I can see you...even in these few minutes I've known you, I wish you could see yourself that way. You're a great cat, Featherspeckle. You're intelligent. You're braver then you think. You've got a wonderful personality and you're so, so beautiful. You're going to make someone very happy someday, but you have to believe me when I tell you that you are an amazing cat. Okay?" Martenthorn mewed.

He could see that she was crying. He didn't want her to cry. Had what he said had any effect on her at all? Was he could to change this, make this any better for her? He wanted to, more then anything else. And he was hoping that perhaps, just maybe, things were going to work out okay after all.