[Starfall]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

Cocking her head to the side, the tabby warrior listened to his words. They were-- captivating. Interesting. She'd never heard anyone paying any attention to those attributes of a leader. And they sounded so sweet...so hopeful...Hawkfeather loved the thought of them, and a shudder went down her spine as a smile came onto her maw. "You think of leaders in such a different way. And I think you're right-- that makes sense, it seems right, y'know? I mean, what if leaders weren't friendly? We'd all end up under another Ratnight! And what if they were worse? I mean, if they believed in StarClan it would be okay cause we wouldn't be being killed off and stuff," Hawkfeather mewed, her hues sparking with sudden fear and excitement at the same time.

The thought of ending up under the rule of another cat like Ratnight-- the thought of living like that again-- it terrified her. No, Gyrestar would be a much better leader, and she would appreciate his leading skills. Right? Surely he would be a good leader. She wanted him to be so badly, but wanting something and it actually happening were two completely different things. She used to think if you wished for something hard enough, it would happen. "Have you ever wanted all your wishes to come true? Cause when I was younger, up until a little while ago, I used to think that if you wished for something super hard, it would happen. And I did that-- y'know, when Ratnight took over?-- But it never happened. So I gave up. Sort of half-wishing that things would go better. And then they did, but it was too late. Wishing lost it's power...guess only so many things can go right, huh?" She asked with a small smile.

She almost wished that she would believe in wishing again, but then stopped. No-- the time for just sitting around wishing things would get better was over. The time for action was past, and it was weak now. Wasn't it? No, the time for action was past now...but would it return was the real question. She didn't want it to. She wanted everything bad to be over, and for good times to come back again. They were slowly returning, but everyone was always on guard. At least, she was...she was no longer always cheerful, though most of the time it appeared that way. It was the part of her she liked best. The part that she would always remember. The part that she wanted to keep with her forever.

But cats changed, and moved on, as she knew all too well. She'd had Firefall, and Steelpaw, and Wrenclaw-- everyone moving through her life just as quickly as they'd entered it. Hawkeye. Birdsong. Berryspirit. Every one of them leaving her just as quickly as they came into her life, and every time she had been heartbroken, but she'd moved on. At least she would see them again in StarClan; well, some of them. But she was in no rush to get there. Right now there were cats in her life who needed her here, and she wouldn't leave them.

She'd see Wrenclaw around, of course...there was no way for her not to. Wrenclaw was her best friend and he still lived in ThunderClan, didn't he? Of course. She would see him at some point, which made her happy. A smile spread across her maw just at the thought of her friend, and was rapidly growing. She was thankful for his company, not to mention the company of the cat she was currently with-- Bluejay. He seemed nice. And at least he wasn't making fun of her cheerful nature or anything, she'd been teased about it before and didn't like it...but she was incredibly thankful for it. "Aw, you wanna talk about it? To me, your new best friend?" Hawkfeather asked, cocking her head to the side with a slightly playful smile before her grin grew.

"Wait, am I your best friend? Because you're my new best friend, I mean everyone's my friend but if you want to be my best friend you can, because I would never let anyone not be my best friend, who would do that? Not me, that's who, and I really like you cause you're a really great cat so if you want to be best friends that's totally fine with me!" Hawkfeather mewed all at once, a grin still on her maw. She was always saying things like that, which sometimes drove other cats crazy and sometimes attracted them to her. It all depended on the other cat's personality, and she wasn't quite sure about Bluejay's yet. One thing that she was sure of...she really liked him. He seemed like a decent cat to be around, which Hawkfeather was thankful for.

"A golden rock. I've never seen a golden rock before, have you? I mean, I've seen grey rocks. And semi-silver rocks. And even some orange rocks, what a weird color for a rock, huh? Ooh, and white rocks! White rocks are the best, they're my favorite!" Hawkfeather mewed, jumping to her paws and flashing a smile in the tom's direction, before she settled down again. It was probably a metaphorical rock that he had been talking about. Blowing it again, Hawkfeather! She thought to herself with a stern twitch of her tail. She cocked her head to the side at his next words, but didn't reply...she wasn't quite sure what he was talking about, anyways. He wasn't bad at all! Most likely, he was talking about her. That must be it.

The silver tom cocked his head to the side and flicked his tail tip, his blue hues danced with curiosity as well as attraction, although he himself still hadn't realized this. He still didn't know what this emotion was, what was infiltrating his heart, what was messing with his common sense. He's heard his sister talk about it before, these feelings, though he couldn't remember what exactly she was explaining, but it made him itch. He wanted to get closer, he wanted to feel her fur brush his, drown in her scent, everything, all of it. Then it clicked. He loved her. He loved her a lot, she was able to make him feel so many different emotions, make him feel happy, sad, confused, determined, curious, elated, annoyed, whisful, all of it. He turned his attention down to his paws and shuffled them, he felt his fur heat up, now that he knew exactly what he was feeling, he no longer understood how he was supposed to react to Hawkfeather, he didn't know if she would see the love and longing that danced in his eyes if he looked at hers. He took in a deep breath and decided to look up, he instantly locked eyes with the other, he had just realized how beautiful her eyes were, he just realized that he could get lost in them, and in all honesty, he wouldn't mind it. He perked his ears towards the golden she cat and smiled, a once in a life time thing for him "Ah, thank you? To be honest it's better for other cats to think differently than for all of us to think the same I think. Or else we'd be push overs." he sighed, he realized how naturally the words rolled off of his toung, he let out a snort at how mouse-brained he was acting, he was worrying over nothing. He looked at the ground and brushed away a small pebble with the back side of his paw after accidentally resting his paw on it. "And I would hate to have another leader like ratnight, and even if they believed in Starclan, they would still probably kill, with that toms personality, they would probably convince everyone else that was for starclan." he snorted, his whiskers quivered. The thought of ratnight brought back bad memories, his clanmates dying right in front of his eyes, and he couldn't even do anything, at the time, he didn't even know if he could protect his sister at the time. The reign of the dark leaders was an awful time for all clans.

Upon the mollys question he looked back up and flicked his ear, he was confused, wishes, had he ever made any wishes? He couldn't remember a time when he had enough time to make a wish to Starclan, or when he ever threw a wish into the universe and hoped, or wished, that his wish would come true. After a few seconds of digging up old memories he looked up at the molly and smiled softly, he had remembered one "One, only one though. I wished for things to be different. I wished for my mother to be alive, for my father to love us, for Dovecloud to stay in Thunderclan with me, for Wingdrop to go back to normal. And at one point, I even wished that I didn't even come to the clans at all, that I had died in the fire with my mother. But I'm happy I didn't, because if I did, I wouldn't have met you." he said, he hadn't realized how quickly the last words had fumbled out of his mouth, he didn't plan on saying that last part aloud, but he did. He let out a small, barely audible gasp and shuffled his paws, he hoped that she would take it as a friendly gesture, but, deep down he hoped that she would understand what he meant. Upon her sad conclusion to her question he let out a snort "Alhough wishing may make you feel safe, nothing can truly gen achieved unluess you fix it yourself. But....yes.....if you truly, truly wish for something to happen, Starclan could decide to give you a little miracle. he said softly, he didn't really believe in such things since it never worked for him, but he didn't want her to be sad, he wanted her to continue smiling, to continue being joyous, to continue being her.

He felt as though his heart had been stabbed, clawed, broken, beat up. Best friend she didn't feel the same way that he had felt towards her. The little flicker of hope had burned out at those two words, though he had to give her a small smile, she was trying to help him. Bluejay ha realized that they had just met, but he still hoped, and honestly at this point, began to wish, which was something he had given up long ago. "I don't think I can find the right words to explain it....it's....hard to say." he trailed off, it really was, although he put up a sassy, know it all front, he wasn't in tune with his emotions, every time he tried to explain them he chocked up, his words would get stuck in his throat, and he hated it. Even if he could explain it, he didn't know if he could tell Hawkfeather his raw emotions, because he believed that he may spill everything, including this supposed one sided love. As he neatly wrapped his tail around his paws he began to weave his white lie "I don't see why not, I would love to be friends with you." he said sweetly, so sickingly sweet. It hurt him to say those words aloud, his love for her was soon to be buried benieth lies of friendship, and he hated the feeling of it.

Once she began to talk about rocks he began to chuckle "I didn't know you like rocks so much, should I go collecting for you or do you already have half of the Riverclan river bank hidden benieth your nest?"
he joked, he didnt mind that she didn't get what he was trying to say, it added a little light in his dull world, made him brighter. For a few seconds he even believed it was contagious, her happiness, her bubblyness, because he began to feel that way as well the longer he stayed around her.