[graves]

Originally Posted by Clover

Geckoleaf didn't move, staring at the fish, feeling emotionally confounded; how could she eat this? It's brown scales glittered dully, and her lips curled in disgust; in one fluid motion she lifted her mouth and pushed in a few mouse-lengths away from her, still close enough to continue eating if she so decided, but still far enough away for her to not be quite so disgusted.

A soft sound caught her ear; head lifting, she swiveled her neck around until she stared behind her; she could see a vague yellow figure, though her eyes were unfocused and they were lit harshly from behind. Slowly, the fuzzy form condensed into the familiar shape of Daypaw, and her face lit up with joy; her child, although adoptive, slowly padded towards her, their gait loose and long, looking simultaneously calm and exhausted; another pang of now-familiar guilt stung her. They should have been able to rest now; her facilities could more than have taken care of all of the ShadowClan casualties, and Daypaw shouldn't have had to lift a claw. But even as they cuddled next to her, still not a single word passed between them, she gently rested her tail around them, pulling the golden enby closer against her.

"Hello, sunshine," she murmured quietly, nuzzling the unkempt golden fur; she noted, a bit drowsily, that Daypaw themselves looked like their pelt was made of spun sunlight, each hair woven carefully into their skin. Anyone could tell that she, too, was lacking sleep; partially because of the night terrors, but also because of her responsibilities draining her of energy. But, Geckoleaf didn't mind; it helped to keep her mentally busy, which lead to her feeling healthier. Plus, it really was what she loved doing; she didn't much see it as responsibilities, or work, but instead as a lifelong hobby; it was her single passion. With a quiet sigh, she rested her head lightly on Day's neck; she noted, a bit sadly, that they hadn't gained weight; in fact, they were unhealthily skinny, and she'd have to try to get them to try fish. She wondered, half-lucidly, if they even enjoyed the majority of Riverclan's prey. Maybe she should start calling them "minnow" until they started eating properly. But for now, she relaxed, though a tiny chirping in the back of her skull told her to be prepared for Daypaw to bring something up.

As Geckoleaf wrapped her tail around them and rested her head along their neck, they stiffened. It was still new to receive affection from anyone. They had never been groomed by another cat before, much less cuddled. After a moment they softened, letting their body relax under the mollies touch, mind processing that she wasnt hurting them, merely showing motherly affection. They stayed silent, amber hues gazing at the pushed fish. It had little nibbles on it, but not much. It was huge, more then triple Daypaws weight in estimate. They briefly wondered why she had pushed it away. Instead of asking, they merely rested their head ontop of their mother, giving a small hum signalling they had heard her.

They thought back to what Juniperpaw had said, though. Daypaw didnt expect things to go back to normal over night, they didnt expect Geckoleaf to be exstatic about taking on another apprentice. They could, somewhat, understand. Daypaw lack empathy, thinking with their head instead of their heart. Not that thinking emotionally was a bad thing, Daypaw had a more blunt and darker view of the world then most. They missed Cricketpaw dearly, they would rather Starclan take their life over hers. But they knew how the world worked. They knew they could not save every cat in the world, no mater how much Daypaw stressed, no matter how little they cared for themselves in order to get to every single cats needs before their own. No matter how much they didnt want to accept it, they knew cats died. They knew cats died and the world moved on. Queens would have kits, the leaders would go on to gatherings, apprentices would train with their mentors, warrior would be made, and soon enough, those cats that had passed away so long ago would be forgotten. Daypaw had accepted it, Daypaw would die just like everyone else and a someone new would take over, and they would be forgotten. They were nothing but a phase in the circle of life, just like everyone else. It was dark, but thats how Daypaw saw the world.

They removed their head from Geckoleafs, gaze resting on her. It was stern, though with hints of rare softness in them. As cold as their thoughts were on the world, they could understand where geckoleaf was coming from. She was hurting. Everyone was, everyone handled things differently. But they couldnt help go back to what Juniper said, her loneliness she felt when Gecko had given her a somewhat cold shoulder. Daypaw may didnt have a proper mentor, but they understood that mentors and apprentices have a very close relationship. Juniperpaw was not Cricketpaws replacement, she was much more then a runner up for their friend. She was a cat, just like them with feelings and emotions. And while Daypaw could understand why Gecko and Russet would treat her differently, it angered them at the same time. They had a blunt mouth and a sharp tongue, and wouldnt hesitate when bringing up something that bothered them, even if it hurt.

¨Can I talk to you about something?¨