[Ever]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

Ebony's thank-you purr put Arrow's traditional small smile back on his maw. He dipped his head the slightest bit, but otherwise gave no confirmation. Part of him just wanted to stay here, all night - but he was afraid to. There were predators lurking, sometimes, and even if he was perfectly safe, it might seem rude to come out here with his companion but not return with her. The night was both Arrow's friend and enemy. He feared it, and yet every time night fell, he felt as though he were greeting an old friend. It was confusing to even the brown tabby, and he didn't dare tell anyone else about his mixed feelings. They would view him as crazy. Opinions mattered here, Arrow knew - those who were held in esteem were never threatened. Those who were not, such as the Healers? They were often threatened or at least, abused. And Arrow wasn't willing to risk his life to try and become esteemed - it was a longer road then most thought, unless you were made Co-Commander. But that wouldn't happen to Arrow.

He wasn't the type that got noticed for that kind of thing, he was the... well... more of slink-around-in-the-shadows and stay-out-of-the-way or try-not-to-be-noticed type. And so, Arrow generally tried his best to do those very things. He wasn't noticable. He had a traditional brown tabby pelt, and he guarded himself so that no one would think anything interesting about him. But, didn't every cat want a friend? Didn't every cat want companionship? Yes. Arrow wanted those things, but he was afraid of them. He was more fearful then he appeared to be, and those fears had practically taken over his life. He couldn't have a friend, he couldn't have the companionship that he longed for for so long, because he knew what would happen. Something bad, that was what. It was too dangerous.

Far, far too dangerous. And Arrow was aware of this. So he was careful to keep himself guarded, and safe, and he wouldn't let anyone in. But, he wanted to. He could see that Ebony wanted it - or he had been able to see that. And he wondered, could she see the same? Could she tell beneath his guarded exterior was, well... himself? Oh, Arrow hoped not. He was far more interesting if you could see that, and he never wanted anyone to think that he was interesting. He wanted to be known as boring. A strange thing to want, but that was the very thing the tom wanted. Her words gave him a sudden shock of surprise. The tom's optics moved down towards the ground and he stopped for a moment.

"I... didn't either."

Others like her? Arrow had known that they were similar, he could tell just by the way that she carried herself and... a lot of other things. But the tabby wasn't sure if they were as similar as she thought. Did she fear companionship too? Did she want it nevertheless? He knew that was probably rare, to fear something so much but want it so badly at the same time. Maybe he was the only one who did that. Yet, why was she guarding herself, then? Because of bad cats? Because she was scared? Because... she was like him? Arrow was hoping that she was.

"And... I don't know. Are we?"

His voice was low, nervous, showing that he was scared to ask anything along those lines. It was more vulnerable. But still safe enough, safe enough to the point where he could rescue it. Clumsily, but he could rescue it. Please understand. Please get it. He thought, his eyes nearly closing as he felt a sting of embarassment. If only Ebony understood... maybe, maybe for the first time in a long time, Arrow could be free from keeping his guard up around everyone. Maybe... maybe she would be safe.

(sorry for the lateness, school has begun again and it's been a little hectic here with wedding planning in full swing and a move on the way)

Everything about the moment seemed to be as relieving as it was painfully anxious. Neither cat wanting to reveal too much, both watching their words, sharing them so carefully and with great calculation. Her tail brushed against the grass behind her as she carefully studied the tom's movements, the squint of his eyes. She understood it, understood his quiet, his careful behavior and closed walls. It was almost like looking into a mirror at herself, at the image she tried so hard to keep around herself. It made something inside her ache a little to see another creature so lost to fear and loneliness. Her eyes slid away from his expression, composure, not wanting to feel it anymore. She had underestimated how much she would feel again from an encounter like this. The black feline had always put so much time into training her emotions into submission, being in control. There was no way to control the emotions that swept through her now; the subtle ache to reach out to him, to comfort Arrow in some way, the way his loneliness and the fear that flashed so discretely in his eyes made her heart ache with a similar longing and fear. She hadn't expected it and it would probably be overwhelming enough to haunt her for the days to follow before she could control the emotions; pick them apart and dig into what caused them to earn control... If she chose to do that. Sometimes, emotions were best left unsolved and uncontrolled.

"Yes."

The word was strong, secure. She'd known they were the same when they'd first met, it was why she had taken the jump to ask him to join her. The corner's of her maw were twisted in a nervous smile as she glanced back at him, hope shining deep in her eyes but hard to depict to the naked eye in the dark night. Though she wished for him to capture the hope, just a little, just enough to make him feel a little more secure. Ebony also wished for a way, to let him into her mind, to erase the vulnerability and fears that held her back from being open. She wished to learn more about him, know what made him this way too and to help him heal as well as she could.

Most of all thought a tickle of a thought sat on her tongue. She wanted to say it, even though they'd only just met, she wanted to know. She wanted this something so badly, but was too fearful to explore the option alone. Want to get out of here? It tickled along her sandpaper tongue but she held it it. Curiosity was a weakness and she'd long ago learned to control it after letting her curiosity ruin her entire life. Maybe if she hadn't seen it, if she hadn't let herself run to the noises and reek of death to see what he'd done and had still been doing. Maybe then she wouldn't be the way she was. The thoughts made a shiver run down her spine, raising the fur there a little as she bristled at the images surging to the surface, plunging her paws in the murk of her memories to force them from returning to her now, or ever.

She looked away, turned her face from Arrow. She didn't want him to see this, this struggle. It wasn't for him to see, not yet, if ever was even an option. It wasn't something she could safely share, it would put him at risk of everything Hannibal was. If her brother were to even find out that they'd been out tonight, Ebony didn't doubt that his suspicion would be raised. But that was why she enjoyed the night, Hannibal didn't haunt it, she haunted the waking world's thoughts and lives. This was her sanctuary, and she wanted it to be Arrow's too. She waited for his response, if any were to even come. It wasn't an answer that looked for confirmation, it was just a sure statement, a confirmation that they somehow understood each other, but that neither was prepared to delve too deep too quickly.