Quote:
Originally Posted by yummyluc
Somehow the voice of the medicine cat was not only muffled but booming and grating at the same time. The blood pounding in Marshfur's ears is what muffled it, making Daydream seem so very far away, which was what Marshfur had wished for secretly. But the mew was just so loud, shattering into Marshfur's mind like breaking a calm pool of water's surface. It shook her to her core, creating a sinkhole in her gut that almost made her grimace, but she forced it down.
"Fine." Her reply came flatly, solid but falsely confident. She wasn't even looking at the enby in front of her, her brown eyes shooting over the top of Daydream's head, clouded over and empty in a way that could send a fleeting sense of hopelessness through anyone's chest. She didn't try to hide it. She'd stopped that long ago, and frankly, had grown tired of it. If anyone asked how she was, she replied with a one-word answer, and if they pressed, she ignored them. In the end, they left her alone. She was difficult and hopeless.
Besides, Marshfur didn't want to burden the poor medicine cat more than she already was, overworking herself with patients that didn't need to be patients. Some part of herself wanted to help them, but again, the beast that resided on her shoulder clasped its clawed fingers over her and kept her still. Marshfur decided that even if she could accept the help, she hardly deserved it. She was close to being exiled, just for being so very neutral. So very plain. Perhaps, if Goldenstar didn't do it, she would do it herself. Then, she would burden no one but herself, and she was fine with that. |
¨you lie.¨ they replied. their eyes attempted to grasp her gaze, disappointing seeing how she refused to even look at them. they had dealt with things like this before. not wanting help, or needing it but you just...cant verbally say it. when you so desperately showed it,yet did nothing. they mentally yell at theirself for not attempting to see her sooner.
they were stubborn. if they were to be ignored, they would simply sit down next to her until she talked, they could sit all day in simple silence if thats what it took to make her feel comfortable around them. they were her medicine cat, their only purpose in life was to help cats like her, and thats what they would do, no matter how long it took. so they settled down infront of her, tucking their paws neatly under their body, silently making it aware that they weren't going any where, any time soon.
they had so much to say, yet they stayed silent. they could relate, in all honesty. the feeling of being alone;the loss. the feeling that you live everyday to be a simple burden and nothing more, that life was pointless. they felt it so strongly it hurt, so there was no way they were letting someone else go through that. they couldn't heal their self, but they could heal others, so that is what they were going to do.
they wanted to reassure her, to tell her its okay to talk to them, that they were going to hurt her, or give shame; that they could relate. that they didnt regret saving her life during the flood, that they wouldve gone through all of that and more, over and over if it meant they got to spare one life, that she mattered. but they couldnt, not if she wouldnt talk to her. obviously it was going to talk time, perhaps more then just a one simple day, but they were patient. they could wait it out.
¨answer again.¨
their words werent aggressive at all, just neutral. they looked past the simple four letter word, the word most cats wouldnt push past, and if they did, didnt stay around long enough to push even further. they wouldn't buy it, and made it apparent that they werent going to go one with their day like any other cat wouldve, accepting her answer like it was nothing. that was bull crap and irresponsible, something only a dumbass would believe.