[lone]

Originally Posted by Doodle

He felt awful. Ruben could see that Hailey knew something was wrong, and she seemed devastated, especially so at his dip of the head. How foolish of him to think he'd be able to start off with a casual talk; of course the molly would pick up on his different emotions. They knew each other so well, after all, so she probably could tell as soon as she saw him. The two cats had been together for so long, it was no wonder they could read each other almost perfectly. Take right now, for instance. Ruben could see hurt, confusion, and maybe a bit of fear in Hailey's eyes. She was definitely not going to take the news lightly. He wondered if she'd freak out and start shouting at him, or if she'd simply be speechless. If he had to choose one over the other, he'd rather her be speechless than angry at him. He couldn't remember ever having Hailey mad at him- after all, Ruben always made sure not to anger her as he cared so much for the she-cat- and he wasn't looking forward to figuring out what it'd feel like. Anxiously, he shuffled on his paws, gaze dropping to the fence beneath their paws instead of looking her in the eyes. If he didn't make eye contact, maybe she wouldn't be able to read him as well.

The tom almost winced at her gentle touch. Her kindness and fond greeting almost destroyed him; he didn't deserve for Hailey to treat him this way, not when he was going to hurt her. He took in a deep breath, fighting the urge to let it out in a sigh, before he answered her. "Yes- yes, I'm alright. I'm not sick or anything. I'm more than alright, actually. Like, you'd never believe how past alright I am right now." He was rambling- he never rambled, what was getting into him?- and his rambling wasn't even making full sense. He peeked a glance up at the molly. Hailey was giving him an odd look. He quickly looked back down, though he realized now that by refusing to meet her gaze, she'd probably be able to think through what was going on even better. Or she'd start overthinking, like Ruben knew she often did. He realized she'd probably already come to the conclusion that there was someone else. The curling of her tail around him seemed to prove this even more, and the tom pressed his eyes closed. This was going to be even harder than he though it would be if she was going to go on being the sweet cat she was- the sweet cat he'd fallen for, once upon a time.

She deserves to be looked in the eye when you tell her, he scolded himself. Upon opening his eyes, he lifted his head and placed his gaze back on Hailey, taking in her face. She was as beautiful as ever, and he couldn't help the sadness the flickered into his gaze as he tried to press her face into his memory. He didn't ever want to forget this molly, or forget the ways she made him feel. Tove made him feel all sorts of ways, too, but not like with Hailey. Both she-cats were different, and his feelings for them- while ultimately having fond, romantic feelings for both- were still different. He suspected that feelings for any romantic partner would not be the same from cat to cat. It didn't mean he liked Tove any less than Hailey, or Hailey any less than Tove... it was just that each feeling was different, and while he enjoyed the way Hailey made him feel... Tove was the cat he needed in his life. She was who would travel the world with him. He understood that, but it didn't make leaving behind his childhood love any harder. Taking in a breath, Ruben decided to be upfront about what was happening. Hailey deserved the truth- the entire truth- after all. In that moment, he decided to tell her everything, including his feelings that he had for her, and likely always would have. He'd start off small, however, and work them up to the harder parts of the truth. "Hailey, I'm leaving." There. It was said, out there, and it couldn't be taken back. Ruben's gaze searched the molly's, trying to gauge her reaction.

(Oh my god this was even hard to type... I don't think he'll ever not love Hailey)

Something was wrong. Hailey could feel it coming off of him in waves, this whole conversation was just… off. It was messed up, and she felt sick to her stomach thinking about what it could be. In her mind, even in her worst nightmares, Ruben had never left her. Perhaps once when she was younger, when she’d first started crushing on him, but now they had history. They’d had a story together, hadn’t they? They were close, right? Hailey’s heart started speeding up as she imagined every single awful scenario she could, most of which involved him leaving now. She could see his twolegs forcing him to move, she could see his house burning down, maybe there was a - another friend who needed his help, but… willingly? For no particular reason? That thought would never enter Hailey’s mind. After all, as far as she knew, they were the closest of friends. They had been good friends for a very, very long time now.
And good friends didn’t just abandon each other. ”Oh, good. I’m glad you’re alright.” The she cat tried to smile, but it came off as uneasy, and unnatural. It was hard to feel natural with the way that he was looking at her. Something was coming, and Hailey - who had never been good in social situations, who was not the best at picking up on clues - could tell. His next words hit her like a train. It felt like all the air had been pushed out of her lungs, and for a minute, she just stared at him. Heartbroken. ”L - leaving?” The word came out as a whisper, and she pinned her ears back to her head, her eyes swimming with unshed tears. ”But… you can’t leave me.” It had been so long since Hailey had lost a friend that she had forgotten that dull ache that just grew stronger and stronger the more she thought about it. No more Ruben meant no more talks or walks together in the morning.
No more Ruben meant no more feeling of confidence, of strength, of security… no more happiness and smiling, laughing, no more bubbly-awkward feelings that warmed her from her ears to her tail, no more of any of that. ”Is it your twolegs? Are they making you move? Because - because if so, you could live with me! I’ll find somewhere to keep you, I mean, I’m sure they won’t mind… they know you… or does another friend need you? You’re coming back, right? I mean, this is only temporary, you - you have to come back.” Hailey could feel her breaths growing shorter and shorter as she spoke, until eventually she was on the verge of hyperventilating. She wanted to breathe. She wanted to scream, to speak, to do anything… but she couldn’t. Right now all she could do was give her best “betrayed” look to Ruben and hope that he would find some way to stay with her.
It was then that another dark, horrible thought entered her mind. Tove. The she cat Hailey had met before, the one that she hadn’t liked pretty much instantly… was it her? Was Ruben in love with someone else? Again, even in Hailey’s worst nightmares, this had rarely happened. She had never thought that he would actually go with someone else, that he would reject her - this was like living one of those dark nightmares out. Screw that, it wasn’t just like living it out, she was living it out. Anger burned within Hailey’s normally soft, friendly gaze. ”Is it Tove?” The words were spoken with more harshness than she intended, considering she had never so much as spoken an angry word to Ruben, and she wished she could take them back almost instantly. But the words kept coming. ”Are you leaving with her? Are you leaving me, do you… do you really want to go with her instead of staying with me?” Am I not important to you anymore? Are you choosing her? Why are you doing this? She couldn’t say anything else. Hailey fell silent, her eyes scanning Ruben’s face for answers. Answers that she hoped were coming very, very soon.