[lone]

Originally Posted by Duskflight

{Oh lord, let's see how this goes xD}

Pupils dilating in fear, the young apprentice stared at her friend, absolutely terrified of what he had to say because his words had invoked a sense of ominousness, foreboding, what the heck could he be about to tell her? And the pain in his eyes only made her grow more fearful for what he was about to say. Is he about to say that he's a supporter of Singenight and he's going to turn me in? Did he kill a cat? What did he do? Is he a traitor? All of these terrible thoughts crossed her mind and yet she couldn't help but think them, what horrible thing was he about to tell her?
When he began speaking, there was nothing she could do but be frozen in place, her eyes focused on him and only him and her thoughts quieting so that she could listen to what he had to say. What he said made her visible flinch back, a hurt expression on her face as she heard that he never planned for the friendship to go this far, was he saying that he didn't want to be friends with her anymore, was she about to lose the only friend she had..? But what he said next hurt even more than the idea that she was losing a friend. He was going to use her, he didn't care about the friendship, he just wanted to get the benefits of knowing an apprentice, getting trained early, and just toss her aside when he had gotten what he wanted, he didn't care about her feelings, he was just using her. Suddenly, sadness was replaced with anger, rage, her yellow eyes burning and her pupils narrowing to slits. He never wanted her for an actual friend. After all she did for him, telling him stuff, hanging out with him, breaking the rules with him, something she never imagined she'd ever do, he had just planned to use her to get what he wanted. Snorting out, Adderpaw looked away, unable to look at Pinekit any longer, her tail lashing and her heart thudding, tears filling her eyes and her teeth gritting as she forced herself to hold back from lashing out at him. I couldn't know that I would suddenly want to have you as an actual friend. This caused another snort to escape her, her head shaking and her nose wrinkling. Right. She shouldn't have expected to have actually made a friend.
What he said next made no effect on her, her ears flattened and her head shaking again. "And how do I know if that's not just another lie? You're probably just using me again, huh? Like toying with my emotions. Don't tell me I won, because this wasn't a game for me. Thanks for making me think I made an actual friend only to have it ripped away."

Lashing her tail again, the apprentice rose up on shaky paws, tears wetting the fur around her eyes as she stumbled off for the apprentice's den. If she didn't look defeated before, she looked defeated now, she looked completely destroyed of any happiness. Barely holding back heart-aching sobs, she entered the den and disappeared from sight, heading to her nest and curling into a ball before sobbing out into her fur. Life.. Didn't look too well for Adderpaw at the moment. Perhaps his timing wasn't right, or perhaps this would have happened anyways.

Pinekit had been expecting her to be upset, knowing that she would hate him for what he had done, but he hadn't been expecting the guilt- or the pain that came with it. It seemed to hit him harder than anything else, and it was only then that he realized the severity of what he had actually done. I never should have told her. I should have just eased back into my own character. She never would have noticed, probably. Pinekit thought, with a rueful lash of his own tail. For a moment, he wondered if he should just stay here. Going after her would only upset her more. But Pinekit, being the cat that he was and never starting anything that he wouldn't finish....well, other than his game with Adderpaw...slowly got to his paws and approached the apprentices' den, stopping at the entrance. "Adderpaw?" He asked in a soft voice that was so uncharacteristic it almost surprised him, before he realized that he sounded like his fake character. "I know you're in there, so don't even bother trying to ignore me." He added, sounding much more like himself. He liked it, too...it was nice to not have to worry so much about what he should say, although he knew he should pick his words carefully here. He could end up only hurting her more, which was something he didn't want to do. "You think this is a game to me? You think I'd be here just to, as you put it 'toy with your emotions?' And what do you think I would gain from that, huh?" He asked, his voice harsher than he meant it to be. It was the frustration and anger- not at Adderpaw, but at himself- that made his voice sound that way. "None. I get nothing from this. The only thing I would get would be you, as my friend. Why do you think I play these games? Did you think about that? Did you think about the fact that maybe, just maybe, I can't make a real friend of my own? Did you ever think that maybe someone hurt me before and caused me to be like this?" He asked, his voice still in his own tone. It wasn't quite as harsh as before, and it was more laced with pain than before as well. "I doubt you believe me. You probably think this is another game to me, even after all of that. Go ahead. Go ahead and find yourself a real friend, forget about me. Forget about me just like-" He cut himself off before he could continue. If Adderpaw wasn't going to be his friend...such a strange word...then he couldn't trust her. If she wanted to be friends with the Pinekit that he had been acting as, the one who was never upset and smiled most of the time, and liked to play all the time, and didn't mind losing...then that was her problem. Still, he was going to wait for her reply. Wait and see what she said.

Maybe, just maybe...she could give him another chance. Maybe she would be the first to do so. This was the first time Pinekit had tried anything like this, and it was strange and unfamiliar territory. He wasn't quite sure he liked the feel of it, either. It was too uncertain. He couldn't be sure of anything, which was another reason he played the games. The one thing that he could be sure of...or at least, that he had been sure of...was that he would always win. But this time he had lost, badly. Even if Adderpaw hadn't been playing the game. And what is friendship, anyway? Isn't it a game? Worried that you'll hurt someone, trying to hold on to your friends while balancing everything else, acting like what they say doesn't hurt you sometimes? If that isn't a game, I don't know what is. Pinekit thought to himself, with a frustrated twitch of his tail. He continued to wait for Adderpaw. He wasn't going to give up easily at all. Even if she turned her back on him now, he was at the very least going to get her to give him one more chance, just for a few minutes, a conversation...anything. His ultimate goal was to gain her friendship back, although seeing how badly this had hurt her, he was sure that it was going to be a long and hard road, and one that Pinekit wished he had never ventured down. I hurt her. I did this by myself. He thought, the realization hitting him again.
(Alright...poor Adderpaw, I can't believe she doesn't have any other friends!)