[Brilliance]

Originally Posted by Delta

Tallmarsh tilted her head to one side, considering the leader's question. "Yes," she finally said. "Like I just said, I realized that StarClan does in fact exist." Her tone was determined, almost condescending (if you read into it enough). She had been hearing stories of StarClan almost her whole life, but it had always seemed to farfetched to be real--plus, she had never gotten a sign from them or anything like that until becoming medicine cat. She supposed that now that she had visited StarClan, she had to believe in it. She avoid Passionstar's gaze--she felt ashamed and a bit embarrassed that she, the one cat who wasn't sure of her belief, had been chosen for the role of medicine cat, the one cat closest to the Clans' ancestors. She sighed, "Well..I guess I always just assumed there wasn't really anything after death. I never really thought about in depth where we came from or whether there's an afterlife. As a loner, the only things I was focused on were staying alive and finding my family..." She trailed off for a moment, then continued in a firm tone, "I don't know yet. I've had my whole adult life to think about this, yet it's never really been at the front of my mind since the first time I was told about it." She knew that she should believe in StarClan now, because she'd been there and seen it with her own two eyes. But despite what she wanted to think, she couldn't seem to put her trust in some dead cats in the sky who wanted her to follow blindly. For her, seeing did equal believing, most of the time. She didn't have any particular desire to follow StarClan, but she felt a certain sense of duty to her Clan to be the best medicine cat she could. And part of that responsibility was interpreting signs from their ancestors, which she couldn't do if she didn't have faith.

Passionstar was good at observing. Observing nature. Trees. Leaves. The sky. However...cats? He wasn't a master at that yet. Part of him knew that you couldn't study a cat and expect them to keep the same face. Cats change as time change. Experiences change a cat. He couldn't imagine what type of changes Tallmarsh was going through. ''Kinda makes you feel like a hypocrite, doesn't it?'' His ears perked, cautiously curious. If he was being thoughtful and genuine, he did find it pretty comical how Starclan preyed upon cats who had wavering belief, or none at all in them. ''The dead cats must have a humor, don't you think? Choosing the one cats who don't believe in them, pfft. It's like they're saying, 'here have a taste of your own medicine, cause we do exist, mousebrain'. Those dead cats definitely have humor.'' He laughed a soft chuckle. Passionstar knew that Tallmarsh didn't have to feel alone when it came to her belief. There were plenty of cats before her who didn't believe, and there would be plenty of cats after her who don't believe. Her history explained a lot of why she was pretty much a troubled agnostic. Passionstar had thought about what she was saying; didn't believe in an afterlife. More focused on staying alive. Trying to find her family. Passionstar just came a little aloof, stuck in his thoughts for long seconds. He did somewhat hear her next words, but chose to ignore him since she spiked his curiosity about her family. ''...have you ever found your family?'' Family was important. Not only did it carry sentimental value, but family either knocked you down or picked you up. Passionstar didn't believe in blood was thicker than water. Everyone in Thunderclan wasn't all kin to him, but he still regarded everyone as family. Just like he'd die for his mother, he would also die for one of his regular warriors. He didn't know if that was a pretty deep rooted question to ask the medicine cat. Some things were private, and he never tried to be a nosy cat. He'd respect if she didn't want to say anything about it though. He couldn't relate - his mother, adopted brother, and niece was well in Thunderclan. His father died long ago. His brother was Starclan knows where.