[lio]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

A sort of warmth clashed with a dull ache as Powdernose leaned against the tom’s body. Whatever had happened, the younger tom was much weaker than he had been. It felt like he was about to break at any moment. Stonegazer knew that Powdernose needed care, and if they could just get back to camp, Tallmarsh could take care of him… but all thoughts of moving flew out of his head as the former deputy began his story. ”No one blames you. You are not a failure, Powdernose.” Stonegazer interjected when the other tom paused, his eyes growing hard with frustration. Feeling like you had failed was not something even the older tom was immune to. But at this level… he couldn’t imagine. He knew there were cats in camp who would blame Powdernose, but that wasn’t what the tom needed to hear right now. Stonegazer wasn’t good at comforting others most of the time. His words came out uncomfortably, less robotically than usual, and he always felt awkward while he was doing it. But something was different this time. Powdernose needed a friend right then… and Stonegazer wanted to be there for him. His ears went back as the younger tom continued, but his anger at how much self-loathing Powdernose seemed to be carrying was replaced by a cold wave of fear as the tom collapsed.

”No...” He whispered, his voice oddly vulnerable in the moment. Warriors died all the time. In battle, or of sickness, or being attacked by dogs, foxes, badgers… even large birds. But this was something different. Stonegazer had mourned for all warriors who had died, but he had never felt quite so helpless before. He hadn’t been there. He should have, and he hadn’t. Maybe there would have been something he could do. He could feel Powdernose breathing, he didn’t… feel dead, but Stonegazer wondered if it was just his imagination. The younger tom’s breathing was so light, shallow, that it seemed almost fake. His eyes never played tricks on him. Stonegazer’s senses were something that he prided himself on… they had always been sharp before.

Gently, he took ahold of Powdernose’s scruff and lay the younger tom down. It wasn’t because he was heavy - as a matter of fact, he was unhealthily light - but Stonegazer couldn’t stand the feeling of the no-longer conscious warrior against him. ”Wake up. You need to wake up now. This is not the time to sleep. You need help… get up!” The last word was stressed, although he didn’t mean for it to be. Such a show of emotion would have been frowned upon by Stonegazer’s friends. But since they weren’t here now, and this was such a tough situation… honestly, he didn’t care. He needed Powdernose to wake up. Logically, he knew that the tom was dying, if not already dead. That his mind or his eyes were playing some trick on him, and he wasn’t actually breathing. But… in his heart… Stonegazer wanted Powdernose to be alive. He wanted there to be something he could do to bring the tom back - anything he could do.

powdernose watched from the side, his transparent spirit examining every action that was taken. he sat, confused, seeing the changes of expression upon stonegazer's face as the grey tabby worriedly spoke to his unconscious form. his claws dug into the ground, going through but not making a mark. powdernose was invisible now, he understood that. but why was it happening? why could he see himself and stonegazer, but not in his own body?
his lips pulled into a felineish frown before he stood and circled the two forms. as stonegazer fretted over his body, powdernose allowed his thoughts to run wild. a flicker of hope sparkled within him before he forced it to simmer down, fearful of it boiling too far and ruining what he had tried so hard to build. that is, if he made it out of this alive. his body was frail, as though it could be blown away by the gentlest of breezes. he saw his chest rise and fall quicmly, breaths shallow and weakened.
did i really do this to myself? powdernose flattened his ears, then walked to his body and laid down in the position he had been put into. wake up. wake up!


his eyes flew open, a loud gasp coming from him. the siamese coughed, laying his head down and staring up at stonegazer.
"i- i'm awake," he rasped, trembling as he tried to get to his paws. "just- just need some food, a- and water," mumbled powdernose, giving up and simply lying on his side. "i- it's c- cold..." the final sentence was half to himself, though he hoped the other tom had heard and would share his warmth. he loved whenever stonegazer allowed him to get closer.
thinking back to the night they had stargazed together, powdernose let out a soft, quivering sigh. he was surprised stonegazer was so caring towards him. much unlike all the felines stonegazer surrounded himself with, powdernose was quieter. he held anxiety within him, a childish light in his eyes. but now that had faded away as he slowly withered to nothingness.
he had to fight.
he had to stay alive.
as though disagreeing with him, a heavy cough racked his body, bringing a wheeze to his breath.
stop it.
a deep chortle sounded deep in his mind. stop what?
stop torturing me like this. stop messing with me. stop messing with him.
the voice went silent for many heartbeats, then grumbled, you're no fun. it then retreated back into the darkest depths of his brain, awaiting the next chance to meddle with his emotions. powdernose sniffled, curling his tail over himself as he looked up to stonegazer, scanning his face for any hidden details he could use to decipher what the tom was thinking. finding none, he allowed his breathing to calm and laid his head on his paws.