She'd spiraled through a long, darkening corridor of her thoughts long before Batglare finally managed to locate her. At first, when he presses himself into where she was tucked away, she draws back by instinct. Her tail curls defensively around her body and her ears flatten, but the slightest sliver of recognition shines in her eyes, and her body loosens again. Hunched over, the apprentice somehow looked even smaller than she already was. And as she wept, her slender shoulders trembled with the might.
It takes the pair a while of being in close confines together and honestly, Elderpaw wasn't even considering the additional miracle it had to have taken for her increasingly (and begrudgingly) patient mentor to stay with her. But the heaviest part of her emotions had finally begun to subside. Eventually, her sobs became wheezing gasps again, and those became little hiccups accompanied by several sniffles. But although she could not continue crying, her heartache felt even worse. After a while, and without looking up, she speaks in a small, wavering voice.
"A... A while ago, when those RiverClanners came to hunt for us," Elderpaw mews,
"Midnightstalker... She brought that cat back with her... And said she ran into my dad..." The tabby sniffles.
"He went away before you got stuck with me because he wanted me to be someplace... Someplace safer, because we were starving... And cats were eating other.. Other cats." She spoke so quietly and wretchedly, it was almost like this wasn't even Elderpaw anymore.
"She said she ran into him on our territory, though. And that he... He wasn't... Coming home." The last word comes out as a squeak, and the little apprentice sniffles again.
"I thought I would have proved him wrong by now. Or that he would have come back home to stay, because everything is better, you know? But what if..." Trailing off, she thinks of what she is about to say and smiles sadly. Finally she lifts her glassy gaze to Batglare.
"I never had a chance, did I, Batglare? Newtflecks, his kits... It's all been set from the moment the parents made their choice, hasn't it. They- They don't get to save their parents, do they? WindClan chased my father off. And they were all cheering to tear unborn kits away from their family today. I.."
All of a sudden, her throat tightens up again and she tears her gaze away from her mentor, taking a moment to collect herself again.
"I don't get to rectify my father's decisions, and even if he did come home, I just... I can't help him. Newtflecks' kits won't have that choice either." The she-cat gazes at nothing for a long time after speaking, and finally takes a deep and rattly breath. Poor Batglare. After a long span of silence, she suddenly laughs sharply.
"Oh! Boulderpaw's mother's dead, and I think he hasn't realized, so, I could use you for that if you're not going to ask Twilightstar to reassign me!"
[ @
Moonraven ]