RiverClan Clearing

[graves]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

"Oh really." The white feline sounded doubtful, and she shot him a look that was full of skeptism. Clawpaw knew nothing about what Whisperblaze had gone through - she didn't know that Russetstar had ever had another mate, she didn't remember well how awful her family had been to him, she didn't know about all of the stuff that had happened in his life. All she knew was that he seemed to be doing pretty well here, with a loving mate and family. "Does Russetstar even know where you came from? Does anyone know where you came from, or did you just show up and make up a bunch of lies?" Now her voice was even more accusing. Of course, Clawpaw was assuming that he knew. Why wouldn't he know? Her Mother and Father, however stern and harsh they might have been, had seemed to love each other. Everything was discussed beforehand. They were partners, they knew everything about each other, and when she was younger, the she cat had admired that. Now? She had a hard time believing anyone would want to spend time with her, at least willingly. She was a bad cat. But there was nothing she could do about it. She was too far in to this life to ever, ever go back.

A lot had changed since Whisperblaze left. Clawpaw had been so..happy before. When he was there he had been nothing but kind to her, he had tried to be the best big brother he could be. Now..she was full of hatred for him. He regret leaving Clawpaw behind. He regretted it so much, he wish he couldve taken her with him,but he knew he could never tear his family apart like that. He would regret it for the rest of his days. HE wanted to voice how much he stil cared for her, loved her even, that he didnt want things to be this way. But he knew hed be returned with a cold shoulder to his affection, he closed his maw. His eyes widened with her words. No one knew of his past, not even Russet. He could never tell him, with how much he disliked Shadowclan, he probably would treat him differently. Treat Shadowclan differently. He could never tell Russet that, he could never tell him he left his clan because of his family. He didnt want pity or for Russet to look at him like a liar. He had told him he was a loner, nothing more nothing less. He was given the knew name Whisperpaw and life went on. ¨He doesnt need to know, theres no point in telling him.¨

[lone]

Originally Posted by woly

A lot had changed since Whisperblaze left. Clawpaw had been so..happy before. When he was there he had been nothing but kind to her, he had tried to be the best big brother he could be. Now..she was full of hatred for him. He regret leaving Clawpaw behind. He regretted it so much, he wish he couldve taken her with him,but he knew he could never tear his family apart like that. He would regret it for the rest of his days. HE wanted to voice how much he stil cared for her, loved her even, that he didnt want things to be this way. But he knew hed be returned with a cold shoulder to his affection, he closed his maw. His eyes widened with her words. No one knew of his past, not even Russet. He could never tell him, with how much he disliked Shadowclan, he probably would treat him differently. Treat Shadowclan differently. He could never tell Russet that, he could never tell him he left his clan because of his family. He didnt want pity or for Russet to look at him like a liar. He had told him he was a loner, nothing more nothing less. He was given the knew name Whisperpaw and life went on. ¨He doesnt need to know, theres no point in telling him.¨

Never before had the she cat thought that anyone - anyone would lie to their mate. Or at least keep secrets. It was the one kithood fantasy that she had still had, but now it was gone. So someone would lie. Would keep a secret. Her blue optics slitted and she glared at him. "Lies and secrets, Whisperblaze? Mm, that doesn't suit you. Looks like you have some of our family's genes after all... keeping such an important secret to keep yourself safe, ha. Real smart. You have more ShadowClan in you then I thought." Growing up, he had been the most honest one. Of course, except for Whisperblaze, family members weren't pitted against each other. Her Mother and Father hadn't lied to her. Not as far as she knew. What they believed, what they thought, it was all spoken to her. Being exposed to a lot at a young age was one of the things Clawpaw regretted most. A lot of her fantasies had been smashed already, such as the one that she could actually grow up to be leader. Her parents had quickly taught her that they weren't all that popular within the Clan, and she probably didn't stand a chance. Everything had been ruined by them, and yet it was her brother that she hated and not them. Why? Because it was what she had been taught. Everything had twisted her mind against him, hardened her heart against him, and she had learned too much about everything being against him.

[AbsurdJinx]

Originally Posted by tawny~

Runningpaw let out a gentle sigh, ears twitching as she surveyed the clearing with barely a glance, she wasn't really all that focused on anything. Her blue-green orbs trailed off to look in the distance, far beyond the camp, to the river, then turned her gaze back to the clearing, her expression turned calm, but still in a blank, depressed-like state of mind. She shifted her position softly and with barely enough effort, tail swishing at the sandy ground as she did so, before getting comfortable, or as comfortable as she could get. She had not many reasons not to get any food from the freshkill pile really.

Depression, grief, those were the things that she could probably think of, if she was in the right state of mind. Or, perhaps, guilt is another thing that is the right reason to it. Her mother wasn't here to share a meal with her. Her siblings not here to eat on the planet, to tackle and tussle with her, or play fight with her in the sand. Guilt. Guilt for living. For breathing, eating, drinking. She wanted her littermates here, her mother here to be with her, to say how proud she is of her. But, she couldn't see them again, because they were dead. Dead, not existing on him. Except in StarClan. Or, the other possibility, missing. She hoped the latter. Probably pleaded it too in her mind, that somewhere, and somehow, her mother was alive. Breathing, her siblings with her mother, trying to find her.

She lifted her head when she heard the greeting, a puzzled expression on her face, as she looked down at the mouse, she tilted her head, and looked up at Juniperpaw again. "Oh.. Hi." She answered rather softly. "Runningpaw." She slightly mumbled, ears flicking. Why this cat had decided to chat with her, she didn't exactly know. But, socialization was fine, and Runningpaw didn't particularly mind it all that much.

Juniperpaw came from a family of rather optimistic felines, and unfortunately, anyone outside her family that she dared attempt to befriend were on the more pessimistic side of life. However, her flamboyant nature just seemed to fit in with those who were not as outgoing as her. She didn't typically mind surrounding herself with not-so-happy felines, but it occasionally had the tendency to bring her own mood down. Especially nowadays she was suffocated in negative emotions, just about nobody approving of her chosen path.


Determined to bring the sad cat's mood up, Juniperpaw grinned brightly, contrasting against Runningpaw's rather sour expression. Her tail swept against the ground behind her, her neck craned where she could look down at the other apprentice. Her green eyes had brightened, the darker and lighter flecks among the leaf-colored depths popping into existence. ``Why so serious?`` Before Runningpaw could even slip a word in, Juniperpaw was laughing and snorting at her strange choice of words. Her head was dipped and thrown back as she laughed, her eyes closed tightly and her nose wrinkled.


Finally calming down, exhaling shakily, Juniperpaw made a move to sit down. She sank back on her haunches, curling her tail at her side. She didn't bother with her posture, hunched over and head hanging low. Her eyes were soft, warm and welcoming, and she wore a small smile to compliment her gentle features. ``In all seriousness, though, why - the mouse is for you, by the way - why are you so down?`` Juniperpaw tilted her head to the side slightly, eyes narrowed in concern and curiosity.

[graves]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

Never before had the she cat thought that anyone - anyone would lie to their mate. Or at least keep secrets. It was the one kithood fantasy that she had still had, but now it was gone. So someone would lie. Would keep a secret. Her blue optics slitted and she glared at him. "Lies and secrets, Whisperblaze? Mm, that doesn't suit you. Looks like you have some of our family's genes after all... keeping such an important secret to keep yourself safe, ha. Real smart. You have more ShadowClan in you then I thought." Growing up, he had been the most honest one. Of course, except for Whisperblaze, family members weren't pitted against each other. Her Mother and Father hadn't lied to her. Not as far as she knew. What they believed, what they thought, it was all spoken to her. Being exposed to a lot at a young age was one of the things Clawpaw regretted most. A lot of her fantasies had been smashed already, such as the one that she could actually grow up to be leader. Her parents had quickly taught her that they weren't all that popular within the Clan, and she probably didn't stand a chance. Everything had been ruined by them, and yet it was her brother that she hated and not them. Why? Because it was what she had been taught. Everything had twisted her mind against him, hardened her heart against him, and she had learned too much about everything being against him.

¨Im not a liar!¨ his tone was louder, affirmative. He was no liar. He would never lie. He wasnt a bad cat, he never was. He tried to remain truthful, to give ever lasting generosity. He was honest with Russet. With every fiber in his being that tom knew everything about them, they grew up together, side by side. They loved one another, and Whisper telling Russet that he was from Shadowclan now of all times, after being mates and Shadowclan staying here, would ruin it. He didnt want that. He wasnt..he wasnt bad, was he? ¨Im not ashamed of where I came from. But theres no point in telling anyone. What good would it d-do?¨ he stuttered out, blue eyes searching. Searching for anything, any sign of empathy, any sign of the Clawpaw he knew. He knew why he left, he left without thinking how his sister would have felt. Leaving her alone with their parents..it was a mistake. But he would never regret coming to Riverclan. Despite ll the things happening in his life, he was much happier then receiving the torment he did in Shadowclan. Why of all cats they chose him to pick on. He got that he was smaller, the runt of one of their many litters, that he didnt follow their typical rules of being the perfect cat. He wasnt the daughter they wanted, but was a tom who wasnt power hungry, peaceful compared to them. And in their eyes, it seemed that was a mistake of theirs. And they let it be known with every breath when he was around them. He didnt know what Clawpaw wanted form him.

[lone]

Originally Posted by woly

¨Im not a liar!¨ his tone was louder, affirmative. He was no liar. He would never lie. He wasnt a bad cat, he never was. He tried to remain truthful, to give ever lasting generosity. He was honest with Russet. With every fiber in his being that tom knew everything about them, they grew up together, side by side. They loved one another, and Whisper telling Russet that he was from Shadowclan now of all times, after being mates and Shadowclan staying here, would ruin it. He didnt want that. He wasnt..he wasnt bad, was he? ¨Im not ashamed of where I came from. But theres no point in telling anyone. What good would it d-do?¨ he stuttered out, blue eyes searching. Searching for anything, any sign of empathy, any sign of the Clawpaw he knew. He knew why he left, he left without thinking how his sister would have felt. Leaving her alone with their parents..it was a mistake. But he would never regret coming to Riverclan. Despite ll the things happening in his life, he was much happier then receiving the torment he did in Shadowclan. Why of all cats they chose him to pick on. He got that he was smaller, the runt of one of their many litters, that he didnt follow their typical rules of being the perfect cat. He wasnt the daughter they wanted, but was a tom who wasnt power hungry, peaceful compared to them. And in their eyes, it seemed that was a mistake of theirs. And they let it be known with every breath when he was around them. He didnt know what Clawpaw wanted form him.

"What good would it do?" The she cat repeated in a low snarl, her tail lashing in an agitated manner. No. She wasn't letting this fantasy fade away too. She was right, mates didn't keep secrets from each other, or at least they shouldn't if they really loved each other. Every corner of personal life didn't need to be invaded, not as long as it wasn't important, but this was a big part of who Whisperblaze was. Clawpaw was furious that he would keep this from the RiverClan leader. Why would her brother do that? First he had run away from their Clan, because he was weak. He had come here. And kept secrets because he was afraid, more weakness. Why. Why would he have done that? "You're stupid if you think it's RIGHT to keep secrets from your mate. I've had more hatred and darkness fed into my mind then someone like you could ever imagine, Whisperblaze. So if I think that's wrong? It must be darker then I can handle. You're stupid to keep secrets, and it just shows how much of a COWARD and a PET you REALLY are." Her snarl was almost growing to the point where it would be able to be heard by other cats, but perhaps out of anger (forcing her to keep her voice down) or that one sliver of respect she might hold for him, or not wanting to draw attention from the other RiverClanners, she didn't raise it. What good would it do. What had he even meant by that? She wondered if their parents had ever tried to make him believe them, to give in to their darkness, if he had had a mentor who had fed that darkness and egged her on. She wondered if anything like that had happened. She didn't have a right to compare their lives and if she had known everything in his, his most certainly would have been rougher then hers. But she didn't - and so she didn't believe that things were that hard. She didn't remember.

[graves]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

"What good would it do?" The she cat repeated in a low snarl, her tail lashing in an agitated manner. No. She wasn't letting this fantasy fade away too. She was right, mates didn't keep secrets from each other, or at least they shouldn't if they really loved each other. Every corner of personal life didn't need to be invaded, not as long as it wasn't important, but this was a big part of who Whisperblaze was. Clawpaw was furious that he would keep this from the RiverClan leader. Why would her brother do that? First he had run away from their Clan, because he was weak. He had come here. And kept secrets because he was afraid, more weakness. Why. Why would he have done that? "You're stupid if you think it's RIGHT to keep secrets from your mate. I've had more hatred and darkness fed into my mind then someone like you could ever imagine, Whisperblaze. So if I think that's wrong? It must be darker then I can handle. You're stupid to keep secrets, and it just shows how much of a COWARD and a PET you REALLY are." Her snarl was almost growing to the point where it would be able to be heard by other cats, but perhaps out of anger (forcing her to keep her voice down) or that one sliver of respect she might hold for him, or not wanting to draw attention from the other RiverClanners, she didn't raise it. What good would it do. What had he even meant by that? She wondered if their parents had ever tried to make him believe them, to give in to their darkness, if he had had a mentor who had fed that darkness and egged her on. She wondered if anything like that had happened. She didn't have a right to compare their lives and if she had known everything in his, his most certainly would have been rougher then hers. But she didn't - and so she didn't believe that things were that hard. She didn't remember.

He could feel tears weld up in his eyes again. he could feel his legs grow weak under him, slightly shaking. No. no. no. He wasnt a pet. He wasnt a..coward. It was so easy to get to Whisperblazes head, so easy to hurt him. The words stung, worst then any injury he could have dealt with. ¨I..I dont think its right. I know Im terrible Clawpaw, you dint have to r-remind me.¨ he didnt want to cry again. He knew Clawpaw would simply make fun of him for it, call him a baby. Maybe he was a pet. Following orders like some useless mate. Whenever he was hurt he never speaks up for himself, he always had someone else do it for him. He lets hurtful words get to him so easily, lets it lower his self esteem just like that. Before Russet, he felt like nothing. Nothing but his parents punching bag both physically and emotionally. Nothing but a waste of space and air, the weakling. The runt. But when coming here he felt so much more then that. His mate loved him to pieces, at night when he would think Whisperblaze was sleeping he would mumble sweet nothings and lick his fur. He looked at him like Whisper was the most prized thing on earth. But all of those positive memories melted away at the sight of Clawpaw yelling at him, the hatred in her eyes, how her words stung so easily. He was nothing but a useless pet like she said. No better then how their parents looked at him, no better then anything. He was nothing.¨Im sorry.¨

[lone]

Originally Posted by woly

He could feel tears weld up in his eyes again. he could feel his legs grow weak under him, slightly shaking. No. no. no. He wasnt a pet. He wasnt a..coward. It was so easy to get to Whisperblazes head, so easy to hurt him. The words stung, worst then any injury he could have dealt with. ¨I..I dont think its right. I know Im terrible Clawpaw, you dint have to r-remind me.¨ he didnt want to cry again. He knew Clawpaw would simply make fun of him for it, call him a baby. Maybe he was a pet. Following orders like some useless mate. Whenever he was hurt he never speaks up for himself, he always had someone else do it for him. He lets hurtful words get to him so easily, lets it lower his self esteem just like that. Before Russet, he felt like nothing. Nothing but his parents punching bag both physically and emotionally. Nothing but a waste of space and air, the weakling. The runt. But when coming here he felt so much more then that. His mate loved him to pieces, at night when he would think Whisperblaze was sleeping he would mumble sweet nothings and lick his fur. He looked at him like Whisper was the most prized thing on earth. But all of those positive memories melted away at the sight of Clawpaw yelling at him, the hatred in her eyes, how her words stung so easily. He was nothing but a useless pet like she said. No better then how their parents looked at him, no better then anything. He was nothing.¨Im sorry.¨

'Terrible,' at least in the traditional sense of the word, didn't really seem to apply to Whisperblaze. At least it hadn't - but doing this once again destroyed her faith in the generally kind and honest nature of cats. When she was younger, absolutely! She had believed that cats were kind and generous. Especially having him play with her and treat her so kindly. But then, corruption setting in had destroyed all of that. Clawpaw was no longer willing to believe in the kind and honest, generous and wonderful nature of cats. And she didn't believe that of him any longer either. He had lied, and once a lie entered the situation, it was difficult to trust again. It was difficult for her to trust him. "Obviously I did. You didn't seem to have a problem with it before, now did you? It's so easy to make you feel guilty, I'm almost enjoying this." Some of her anger seemed to subside to hateful glee as her blue optics sparked. Clawpaw had been brought up like this. This was what he had missed. This was her now, no more dreams. No more foolish ambitions. No more idiotic fantasies. No more stupid beliefs. She was grown up now, she would be a warrior soon, or at least she might, and she was going to continue keeping her heart hardened and her mind dark. "Don't apologize to me, you useless idiot! I don't need you. And I don't need you to be sorry. Find someone who actually cares what you think, because I don't care anymore. You left. So I don't need you." Once again the she cat snarled, her fur bristling and her optics wide with anger. She hated his apologies. She didn't need them. She didn't need him.

[graves]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

'Terrible,' at least in the traditional sense of the word, didn't really seem to apply to Whisperblaze. At least it hadn't - but doing this once again destroyed her faith in the generally kind and honest nature of cats. When she was younger, absolutely! She had believed that cats were kind and generous. Especially having him play with her and treat her so kindly. But then, corruption setting in had destroyed all of that. Clawpaw was no longer willing to believe in the kind and honest, generous and wonderful nature of cats. And she didn't believe that of him any longer either. He had lied, and once a lie entered the situation, it was difficult to trust again. It was difficult for her to trust him. "Obviously I did. You didn't seem to have a problem with it before, now did you? It's so easy to make you feel guilty, I'm almost enjoying this." Some of her anger seemed to subside to hateful glee as her blue optics sparked. Clawpaw had been brought up like this. This was what he had missed. This was her now, no more dreams. No more foolish ambitions. No more idiotic fantasies. No more stupid beliefs. She was grown up now, she would be a warrior soon, or at least she might, and she was going to continue keeping her heart hardened and her mind dark. "Don't apologize to me, you useless idiot! I don't need you. And I don't need you to be sorry. Find someone who actually cares what you think, because I don't care anymore. You left. So I don't need you." Once again the she cat snarled, her fur bristling and her optics wide with anger. She hated his apologies. She didn't need them. She didn't need him.

He could feel a lump in his throat form, speechless. She took joy out of this? Hurting him? he choked on a sob, letting silent tears run down his fur once more. he wasnt going to bawl infront of her. he wanted forgiveness. Not so he could clear his conscious, but because he missed his sister. He had left everything behind, he had nothing.No family. Nothing. Again, he thought back to Russet. He was his light, his other half, his everything. They had kits together. He was the only one would never hurt him, who had only showed him nothing but kindness, who loved him unconditionally. But...was Whisper good enough for him? Was he worthy of his love? Compared to Russet, Whisper was nothing. he was no leader, he had never done good by anyone. If he died, no one would care. He felt useless at this point. He stared at Clawpaw for a moment, unsure of what to say. He knew that if he plead and begged, apologized over and countless times, it would be like talking to a brick wall. It would go in one ear out the other. It hurt, really. For his sister not to want anything to do with him. They were so close before he left, joined at the hip. Now it was all gone. It felt like a stab right through the chest, all of their history blown away in a single moment. He could feel nothing but sorry.¨W-would...it make you feel better if you never saw me again?¨

-
[lone dont get confused this is taking place after Whisper walks away from clawpaw ;w; like a fast forward]
starter for @fenic!
Whisperblaze could feel sobs rumble in his chest, eyes glassed over with tears as they stremed down his pale fur, making dark trails. He was looking for the one cat that he always went to--Russet. He was in a mix on if he wanted to see him or not, though. Clawpaw had triggered so many thoughts, he felt almost shamful to even look at his own mate right now. He had lied, he was no better then his parents in Shadowclan, he wasnt worthy of anything. He wobbled around the clearing, lunging heaving as he panted slightly, trying to catch his breath but only let out more small sobs and whimpers. Everything was blurry, distorted version of camp in his gaze as he searched for the nursery.

[Fel]

Originally Posted by woly

He could feel a lump in his throat form, speechless. She took joy out of this? Hurting him? he choked on a sob, letting silent tears run down his fur once more. he wasnt going to bawl infront of her. he wanted forgiveness. Not so he could clear his conscious, but because he missed his sister. He had left everything behind, he had nothing.No family. Nothing. Again, he thought back to Russet. He was his light, his other half, his everything. They had kits together. He was the only one would never hurt him, who had only showed him nothing but kindness, who loved him unconditionally. But...was Whisper good enough for him? Was he worthy of his love? Compared to Russet, Whisper was nothing. he was no leader, he had never done good by anyone. If he died, no one would care. He felt useless at this point. He stared at Clawpaw for a moment, unsure of what to say. He knew that if he plead and begged, apologized over and countless times, it would be like talking to a brick wall. It would go in one ear out the other. It hurt, really. For his sister not to want anything to do with him. They were so close before he left, joined at the hip. Now it was all gone. It felt like a stab right through the chest, all of their history blown away in a single moment. He could feel nothing but sorry.¨W-would...it make you feel better if you never saw me again?¨

-
[lone dont get confused this is taking place after Whisper walks away from clawpaw ;w; like a fast forward]
starter for @fenic!
Whisperblaze could feel sobs rumble in his chest, eyes glassed over with tears as they stremed down his pale fur, making dark trails. He was looking for the one cat that he always went to--Russet. He was in a mix on if he wanted to see him or not, though. Clawpaw had triggered so many thoughts, he felt almost shamful to even look at his own mate right now. He had lied, he was no better then his parents in Shadowclan, he wasnt worthy of anything. He wobbled around the clearing, lunging heaving as he panted slightly, trying to catch his breath but only let out more small sobs and whimpers. Everything was blurry, distorted version of camp in his gaze as he searched for the nursery.

perhaps it was nice that russetstar had been having to deal with a bit less recently. he'd been using his free time to vent his bitterness towards the "replacement" of his late daughter cricketpaw, and in some twisted way it had both prevented him and helped him when it came to moving on from her death. it had been moons since the attack had occurred, but this had hit him so much harder than all the other losses he endured, because he was a leader now. he should've been there to protect her. letting out a rather dreary sigh as he padded out of his den, brilliant eyes seeming rather tired despite the sleep he'd been getting just moments ago- though that same gaze soon widened with shock as it laid upon the fair figure of his mate, whisperblaze- he was crying, something was so obviously wrong. quickly moving to approach him, russetstar's ears folded against his skull as he witnessed his misery. "...whisperblaze, darling- what's wrong?" he mewed, voice slick with worry as he talked.

[graves]

Originally Posted by fenic!

perhaps it was nice that russetstar had been having to deal with a bit less recently. he'd been using his free time to vent his bitterness towards the "replacement" of his late daughter cricketpaw, and in some twisted way it had both prevented him and helped him when it came to moving on from her death. it had been moons since the attack had occurred, but this had hit him so much harder than all the other losses he endured, because he was a leader now. he should've been there to protect her. letting out a rather dreary sigh as he padded out of his den, brilliant eyes seeming rather tired despite the sleep he'd been getting just moments ago- though that same gaze soon widened with shock as it laid upon the fair figure of his mate, whisperblaze- he was crying, something was so obviously wrong. quickly moving to approach him, russetstar's ears folded against his skull as he witnessed his misery. "...whisperblaze, darling- what's wrong?" he mewed, voice slick with worry as he talked.

Feeling his mate pressed against him only made Whisper cower away slightly, shaking his head. He had never cried infront of Russet before, not once. There had been many close times, but Russet had always calmed him down before it had lead up to crying. He didnt want to seem pathetic, he didnt want to look weak. ¨I-its nothing,¨ he looked towards his mate, teary eyed, once bright blue eyes now clouded over like glass. ¨Im f-fine I just..¨ he looked to the ground, unsure of what to say. He could tell Russet everything right now, he wanted to. He wanted to tell him what his sister had said, how she had hurt him. But that would mean telling him he was from Shadowclan. He didnt want Russet to look at him like a liar, or some two faced cat that wasnt truthful. He played it off like he was a loner when joining, not giving a clear description of his history. And no one had questioned it, and Whisperblaze was starting to let it all be behind him. But now Clawpaw was here, his birthclan was here, and his past and lies were all to real. He couldnt tell Russet he left simply because his family abused him, he didnt want to seem like a coward. he wanted to lean on Russet on instinct and cry into his shoulder and tell him whats wrong, but he couldnt. Even if a large part of him wanted to. Instead, he gave a broken smile,¨Im fine.¨