constructive criticism/help with characters <3

**North** · #1 August 22nd, 2021, 10:55 AM

Hey loves <3
I love reading up on other people's characters, and I also love designing my own - with all my creativity, it's a miracle I don't have an overflow of characters haha! To help channel this excess creativity juice, I have decided to offer my help to those making characters or wishing to update pre-existing ones!
I am happy to offer unbiased advice and criticisms to each and any of your kitties, and any help you'd like with ideas on what to do with their appearance/personality/backstory/etc!
This does not require Kitty Koins as I'm looking to help people out of enjoyment for myself, anyway!
This is not to say I am some pro character designer (I wish!), I just enjoy assessing the good and the bad of characters' designs, and I also have a plethora of ideas I myself will not use and am happy to offer other people instead! (I'd enjoy seeing them get used!)
My advice is just that: advice! Feel free to ignore it or disagree entirely! All characters are perfect in their own unique ways, my criticisms or advice does not mean they are not good as they are!

Anyways, now that that is all out of the way, here is a small form [not required, though!]:
Name:
Help with character and or criticism/advice for improvements to character?:
Link to/description of character [enough for me to work with, please!]:
Any other requests?:
Mention: @North

IMPORTANT: I am not going to design any characters from scratch, or find relations for any! This is purely to critque/advise you on them! Thank you <33

**WarriorzFan** · #2 August 22nd, 2021, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by North

Hey loves <3
I love reading up on other people's characters, and I also love designing my own - with all my creativity, it's a miracle I don't have an overflow of characters haha! To help channel this excess creativity juice, I have decided to offer my help to those making characters or wishing to update pre-existing ones!
I am happy to offer unbiased advice and criticisms to each and any of your kitties, and any help you'd like with ideas on what to do with their appearance/personality/backstory/etc!
This does not require Kitty Koins as I'm looking to help people out of enjoyment for myself, anyway!
This is not to say I am some pro character designer (I wish!), I just enjoy assessing the good and the bad of characters' designs, and I also have a plethora of ideas I myself will not use and am happy to offer other people instead! (I'd enjoy seeing them get used!)
My advice is just that: advice! Feel free to ignore it or disagree entirely! All characters are perfect in their own unique ways, my criticisms or advice does not mean they are not good as they are!

Anyways, now that that is all out of the way, here is a small form [not required, though!]:
Name:
Help with character and or criticism/advice for improvements to character?:
Link to/description of character [enough for me to work with, please!]:
Any other requests?:
Mention: @North

Funnily enough, I do the same thing with stories and Essays! I specialize in Grammar errors.

**marshy** · #3 August 22nd, 2021, 12:28 PM

Hey!
Could you do some criticism and give sm advice on Sparrowskip? Here’s his page and I can give u some rps I like with him if you want! @North

**North** · #4 August 22nd, 2021, 02:19 PM

| @WarriorzFan |
Oh wow, thats awesome! ^^
| @:Grimmlin: |
Oooo, I'd be happy to! Give me some time to read about him, and yes please on those rp samples - they'll deffo help me see his character in play!
^^

**North** · #5 August 22nd, 2021, 03:09 PM

| @:Grimmlin: |
~Sparrowskip~
Based off your website! Will be happy to alter this if I think any of it is different when I read roleplays! <3 Think of it like a base critique!
Ok, so right off the bat his power?! So cool. Really unique and I think it speaks to his personality a lot, which makes it all the more interesting! Definite positive points there!
Also, love the inclusion of the fact he's got a balanced personality; cats who do not have bad traits are not good characters, simple as! No cat is perfect, so I'm glad you included his not-so-great traits!

Now, on to some of my critiques, then advice <3
Personality-wise, one thing that I noticed was 'modest' as a positive trait! Whilst it can be viewed as a positive trait, modesty isn't really positive or negative; one can certainly be viewed better for being modest, but they aren't likely to be viewed in any bad measures for not playing their accomplishments down! Perhaps this is a little nit-picky, but I would move modesty into a neutral trait and work on defining another, more obviously, positive trait instead. Joyful is a fantastic start; it's a clearly 'good' trait that means Sparrowskip is a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, so you can either stick with that theme or go ahead and highlight something else about his character: perhaps his intelligence, his ability to cope under pressure, honesty, morals, etc! I would also maybe define the negative traits a little too - mainly tired dad [poor bby, I just feel for the guy haha!] maybe talk about something, again, more obviously negative! Structured personalities don't have to be completely followed 100% of the time, but they do create a fantastic base from which to conjure up other ideas!
Following along with those points, I think defining some more features of his character would be great too! [You may have done this in roleplay, if so ignore this haha!] 'Character' is so much more than personality, and I think good characters have always got influences besides just personality! Explore the whys and whats of his character - what makes him joyful? Does religion play a role in his entire self? How does he see himself? What sort of morals/influences are at play there? Think about his motivations, his drive; why does he do anything? It's always a solid way to build character, is to define his life, his journey to where he is now, and wonder what would somebody else do in his position?. Once Sparrowskip's motivations are understood, I'm sure other attributes of his character can and will fall into place! We can roleplay character's for months and months and not really take any time to think about their whole life (I sure do!) - even those little encounters can, if you'd like ofc, have an impact on their growth and progression!

These were just some very simple critique's and advice [I couldn't wait ^^]; Sparrowskip wasn't easy to find fault with! I like so many attributes of his character, but I'd be more than happy to add more once I can see him through roleplay! ^^

**WarriorzFan** · #6 August 22nd, 2021, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by North

Hey loves <3
I love reading up on other people's characters, and I also love designing my own - with all my creativity, it's a miracle I don't have an overflow of characters haha! To help channel this excess creativity juice, I have decided to offer my help to those making characters or wishing to update pre-existing ones!
I am happy to offer unbiased advice and criticisms to each and any of your kitties, and any help you'd like with ideas on what to do with their appearance/personality/backstory/etc!
This does not require Kitty Koins as I'm looking to help people out of enjoyment for myself, anyway!
This is not to say I am some pro character designer (I wish!), I just enjoy assessing the good and the bad of characters' designs, and I also have a plethora of ideas I myself will not use and am happy to offer other people instead! (I'd enjoy seeing them get used!)
My advice is just that: advice! Feel free to ignore it or disagree entirely! All characters are perfect in their own unique ways, my criticisms or advice does not mean they are not good as they are!

Anyways, now that that is all out of the way, here is a small form [not required, though!]:
Name:
Help with character and or criticism/advice for improvements to character?:
Link to/description of character [enough for me to work with, please!]:
Any other requests?:
Mention: @North

IMPORTANT: I am not going to design any characters from scratch, or find relations for any! This is purely to critque/advise you on them! Thank you <33

Pretty sure I saw couple of grammar error in this text

**North** · #7 August 23rd, 2021, 02:09 AM

| @WarriorzFan |
I appreciate you pointing them out! But I often shorten or skip out on grammar to avoid making posts incredibly long or complex; this is a deliberate action of mine. Respectfully, however, I did not ask for any of my grammar to be assessed: if you would not like a character of yours to be critiqued or given advice on, please do not post in this thread ! <3

**Singing Jay** · #8 August 23rd, 2021, 03:26 AM

Name: Jaykit
Help with character and or criticism/advice for improvements to character?: I really like Jay and have some big plans for them but I also want to make them as good of an character as possible so if you mange to help me with that it'd would be great

Link to/description of character [enough for me to work with, please!]:
[Hope this works, tell me if you need more to work with or want me to go into more detail ^^]

Appearance: Blue-grey with night-blue eyes and a darker stripe down their back.

Personality, hobbies, quirks, backstory, etc:

Positive traits: Clever - A quick learner - Passionate

Neutral traits: Clam - Quiet - Timid

Negative traits: Easily scared - Distrusting- Self-critical

Jay is a very shy and timid kitty that, do to them not having a tongue they also hate talking to cats they don't fully trust and many think they're mute or don't even know they exist. Their parents left in the dead of night and his last memory of them is his mother whispering something to him when he was half a sleep and he often has dreams bout that moment but he can never make out the words.
Jay like to sit down in a corner of the camp or nursery and watch others, their behavior, the way the speak and what they do when they talk about things they like, things they don't like and so on. Moons and moons of this hobby has made them quite good at understanding other emotions by how the walk, talk, move their tail etc.

Rp posts:
1 2 3 4

Any other requests?: nope ^^
Mention: @North

**Wammawinkle** · #9 August 23rd, 2021, 03:42 AM

So. Could you help me get a backstory for an oc of mine?. or. An idea

Her name is mouse tail. She's a gray she-cat with white stripes on her tail. On her ears, a white muzzle. And green eyes. She has a deep scar on her flank. (she belongs to a clan but WHAT clan she's in has changed ALOT)

She's the first of I fell in love with and is one of my oldest.

She may or may not fall in love with a loner

**marshy** · #10 August 23rd, 2021, 08:22 AM

// @North

mkay so i got dug up sm roleplays i really enjoyed with him!
This started when Sparrowskips father got exiled. It ended on this page.
This roleplay was started when Sparrowskip tried to apologize to his brother for not standing up for him. It ends on this page.
This is the rp where he was made medicine cat. You can see his reaction here.
Sparrowskip and Snakehearts relationship slowly got worse and worse until this rp that we never finished ;;. but basically Snakeheart said sm nasty stuff to Sparrowskip and it resulted in Sparrowskip leaving Snakeheart alone to cool off before almost getting killed due to coyotes.
This is the rp after he returned and spoke with Snakeheart!
There was ONE more with him and Sunpaw but i couldn't find it ;-; i could also get u sm generic rp samples too!!