Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiethewolfchild
Flamepaw searched for his mentor, touching noses with her as soon as he found her. @ chickadee |
. . .
Pearnose looked quite stunned when Dawnstar called her name. She froze, looking like a deer in the headlights. She was gonna be a mentor? What? Why her? Pearnose wasn’t exactly the most responsible or hardworking cat. Not that she was bad warrior- she was loyal to her Clan, and completed her duties and patrols, but she didn’t go out of her way to be a stellar warrior.
She was known for her “laziness”, though she just called it being unmotivated. She can’t help but remember all the things Chirpshine had said to her, all the names she’d been called: lazy, stupid, apathetic, and things of the sort. She’d always lived in her older sisters shadow, but suddenly she was getting an apprentice? A cat that she would be training, a cat who would rely on her to become a good warrior, a cat who would look up to her.
This was the last thing she wanted. This was just another chance for her to screw everything up again and prove how useless she was. This a poor apprentice would probably resent her for doing a terrible job as his mentor. Maybe he’d become as screwed up as her. Just another cat for her to let down.
As Flamepaw stepped up to touch noses with her the gray cat was snapped out of her thoughts to look down at him. She already felt guilty. He deserved a better mentor. She knew she should try to be positive, but she couldn’t push away the negative thoughts in her head. Pessimism, insecurities and doubt were in control as always. Afterall, if she never got her hopes up she’d never have to be disappointed again.
She meets the apprentice’s eyes; Her apprentices eyes. She knew that she’d have to try, something she’d given up on a long time ago. This cat deserved better. This Clan deserved better. She leaned down to touch noses with the young cat, still recovering from her shock and anxieties about being a mentor, though she is able to utter: “Congratulations… Flamepaw.”