[graves]

Originally Posted by Peachy

chestnutfall’s eyes faded as dappledghost explained her life. it was strange knowing some cats’ lives were so strictly planned out since the beginning, it almost made himself feel stupid for trying to be so tightly scheduled. it made him sad. she...didn't deserve a life like that. he leered off in the distance, humming thoughtfully. “my life was quite the opposite, really.” you could hear his voice shaking slightly out of nervousness. he’d...never spoken about this to anyone before. “everything in my life happened by surprise...and never a good surprise. this is why i strive to live by a schedule, so that everything happens according to plan. even though i know not everything can be planned...” his brows furrowed momentairly, but he shook it off and forced a small smile. taking a deep breath, chestnutfall gazed back up at dappledghost. he chuckled awkwardly, hoping to lighten the mood. “so you aren't allowed to choose things for yourself? i understand parents want the best for their children, but we all grow up to be our own person.” his eyes began to wander the leaves overhead, still smiling. “you should be allowed to make your own decisions, dappledghost...especially about certain elements, like your future ma-...loved one.” the tension in the air changed, but maybe it was just him. or a breeze. or something. “isn't that the fun part of life? having the freedom to love whoever and whatever you wish? whether that be a hobby or another cat, it should be something we personally chose, don't you think?”

it was strange hearing himself talk about this sort of thing...he lost everyone he ever loved, so he felt hypocritical in some way. this was something he wanted to improve about himself, though. hence he spoke about it. but only with dappledghost.

only with dappledghost.

his words struck home - he was right, dappledghost knew that perfectly well. she just.. had a fear of failure. so not go by a plan and just jump. "youre right, i know you are," she hummed quietly, the polite formality of her voice starting to wear a bit off, trotting a bit slower along the trail they were walking on. she set so many standards for herself, and once she reached them, she set them higher. it was a never ending cycle that she was so used to. "i guess sometimes i forget that i am a living being instead of a vessel to follow orders," there were many things in life that she missed out on. instead of playing with kits during her kithood she was being taught the formalities of life, she was forced to mature at such of a young age she... kind of forgot what it was like, to have a choice and just play around. the unexpected. it was hard to get her upset or cry, she had forced those feelings down long ago, so she held herself up like normal despite her voice sounding somber. "if im going to be honest with you, just between you and me," she mewed, catching his attention,"if i had the freedom, i dont know what id do with it." she was so used to being told what to do, how to act, who to love.. shed lose herself.