It was a cold day. The sky was grey and filled with clouds, threatening rain. After the storm that had recently gone through WindClan the past few moons it wasn't surprising.
So cold; the breeze on the moor could paralyze you. Or maybe that was just her. Breezes that used to be welcoming felt like stones to her creamy fur. Chilling her to the bone. Nothing seemed warm anymore.
Brightsky walked through the moor, heading beyond WindClan's territory. In search of food and possibly more land for her beloved Clan. The Clan she had failed, drove to the ground, staved and abandoned... The Clan she called home, once lead until she gave up. That's what she did. Gave up on the only thing she ever loved. WindClan, where her kin, her friends, her life was and is.
She gave it up to Twilightstar, her former deputy turned leader. It pained her so much to see the deaths she had caused. The pain she put on everyone she ever cared about! Not only that, she failed being a deputy twice. That had to be a record somewhere. Cat to fail the most.
Twilightstar had just demoted her, Brindlejaw taking her place instead. Leaving her feeling like an outcast in her own Clan. No one trusted her. She doubted Foxpudge even did. She failed him too. Brightsky just hoped and prayed they will do better then her.
The creamy warrior moved along, tail brushing the windblown grass. Brightsky… she hated that name. Everything about it was a lie. Blazingstar made a mistake changing her name to Brightstar those few moons ago. Four moons ago. She was leader for less then four moons and did nothing but hurt WindClan! It disgusted her! Back then her prefix was supposed to signify a bright leadership for WindClan. That didn't happen! Upon getting renamed Brightsky she was told bright skies would follow. That might be right but only because she had stepped down, gave up. Her giving up did give brighter skies to the Clan. It wasn't like they liked, trusted or wanted her around anymore.
Honestly, this all pained her. She wasn't meant to lead, lead anything. It just wasn't who she was. Brightsky was a warrior, made to loyally follow. Her life was fine before she was deputy. WindClan's life was, to an extent. During her moons as a high rank all Bright had done was mess up. That was her specialty. Mess up and fail everything.
A long sigh escaped the tattered feline. She was covered in scars, unkept fur jerked at by the wind. Her brown eyes were dull, the bright fire they once had ripped away. The cat was nothing she stood for. Nothing. Not a single strain of fur on her was what she wanted to be. What she once strived to be. Yet, what she was won in the end.
A failure, hypercritic, good for nothing fool who lost everything. Failed everyone. Not a single cat could look up to her. If they did they had to have bees in their brain. Brightsky had achieved nothing worth her life. Nothing at all. She was merely a cat who blew every chance at getting better. At being more then just a failure. That was who she was.
Snailflower, Pinewish, Foxpudge, Dawnstrike, Nightpaw, Quiverpaw, Cottonspirit, Shadefern, Twilightstar, Blazingstar, Orielstorm, all of them. All her kin, her friends. All of WindClan. She failed them all. Each and every member there. The ones who left, who died and the ones who lived. She failed them all! Never once did she deserve the chance and yet she did more damage then thought possible. To everyone...
Tears clouded Brightsky's vision as the land around her changed. Blurring the trees and bushes. Her gait would slow, but her mind wouldn't. Was she even worth being in WindClan? It was everything to her yet she had almost destroyed it.
If only she hadn't let Blazingstar pick her all those seasons ago. Yet, she was too young to have known better. If she knew what she did now, she would have explained he picked the wrong cat. He had been proud of her, she scuffed at the thought. It coming out more like a choke with her tears. Her breaths much like gasps. Bright couldn't control herself, body shacking with anxiety of past mistakes. Tears pouring like a river. Why? Why did she have to be such a failure at everything? She had failed as a mother. A friend. A sister. A mentor. A leader. A deputy, twice! A warrior even. Everything. Everything she had ever done, ended in failure.
Why didn't she realize it sooner! You'll never be anything... Never were Buttercup. Bright reminded herself, her old name lingering in her head. Couldn't someone realize that? Anyone?! Did no one see how stupid, naive and unprepared she was?! How did cats even take her seriously!? She wasn't even worth mentioning, less worthy of even being remembered. A good for nothing failure! That's all she was. All she ever managed to be. Anyone who didn't see that was blind.
Brightsky stopped, she just couldn't anymore. Just couldn't. Chocking out sobs, the cream colored warrior sank to the ground. Her eyes glossed over to the point it was hard to see anything. Once vibrant and fluffy pelt now covered in tears and mud. "You could have done something..." Brightsky sobbed. "Could have made WindClan great! Could have been something!" She yowled, emotion so thick in her voice it cracked. Sobs jerking at her already quivering chest.
All these emotions, she tried to surpass, over taking her. As focuses as a bear. Moons worth of sadness, anger, hatred, insecurities she had tried to hide. Tried to win with by ignoring. None of them spared her any mercy. Brightsky had no one to blame but herself.
She gasped for air unable to keep it with the assaults to her mind and heart, it was near impossible. Your brought this on yourself! You! You didn't try hard enough! Never once did you do a good job! You aren't even worth the air you breath! Her mind slandered her. The thoughts feeling sharper than claws.
"Why couldn't you just do better!? Why!?" Brightsky cried rain drops adding to her already soaked fur. "You could have... I- I could have been helpful. Useful! But I'm nothing but a failure!" The warrior added feeling light headed.
All of this was getting to her way to much and yet, no one was around. Out here all alone, like a true outcast. She was much farther from WindClan than she thought she was but in the end that didn't even matter. No one was going to hear her. If they did would they care? The things she did. Cats she hurt... If StarClan struck her down she wouldn't be surprised!
Bright just... cried. Sobbed. Her whole body shacking, quivering from the inside out. Fur soaked to her unhealthily skinny body, never eating enough despite the prey starting to return. She wasn't worth it...
Faint paw steps sounded around her, leaves being crushed. Yet, Brightsky didn't seem to notice... her sobs and the now pouring rain droning out the sounds. Her mind was screaming enough to make it a white noise.
She needed to calm down and go home. To try to do better, try to actually help WindClan as she had originally planned today. Yet her emotions wouldn't let go. Wouldn't let her push them away. Holding on like her life depended on it.
The suddenness of a growl sent a blood chilling shiver down Brightsky's spine. Desperately trying to scramble to her paws and locate the source. It was deep, rolling from the large animal with ease. It sounded like nothing Bright had ever heard in her life and that scared her.
Finally glossy, tear-filled, brown eyes met the animal. Larger then a badger, the creature was shaped similar to a fox or dog. Nothing about it was fightable. Sharp teeth, long claws. A wolf... Brightsky thought a chocked up sob escaping her.
She would back up, soaked fur trying to stand, yet the attempt was a fail as it was caked to her skin.
Such a failure... couldn't even notice a large animal like a wolf approaching until it was too late. Her life really was nothing wasn't it? In the end this trip was just to torture her. Both mentally and physically.
In what felt like forever, but really was a few seconds, the wolf attacked her. Its huge jaws easily taking her down and crushing her spine. Bright could feel pain flare through her whole body as the beast shook her like a rag doll. So much pain... Hot liquid seeping into her chilled fur. Her mouth fell agape at the shear amount of pain, unable to breath with it all.
Brightsky's brown eyes clouded over, losing the little life that remained in them. Slowly she felt nothing. Not the pain in her heart, mind or body. Nothingness. It ingulfed her like a wave on the beach. Everything was gone. She was gone. Lost in the woods like a single leaf, never to be found again. Like a whisper caught in the wind, there once moment gone the next.
Maybe it was for the best. WindClan wouldn't have to suffer from her anymore. They could forget her and move on. Not have to worry about anything she could have done. She couldn't fail anymore...
Brightsky seemed to be surrounded by darkness. Until a single starlit body appeared. She almost choked at the sight, tears once again pouring from her eyes. Lilacbreeze… her dear mother. The cat who had always been there for her as a kit and apprentice.
"Come, rest Buttercup. You've done us proud." Her mother's words made her sob once more. How? How had she done them proud? She was a failure...
Not questioning farther Birghtsky got up, body feeling light and free. Her paw steps were shaky as she joined the fawn colored molly's side. To many emotions over taking her. Yet, the cream colored warrior followed her mother along a star lit path.
The air felt warm, like a green-leaf night. A breeze gently rustling her now star dusted pelt. Brightsky no longer boar the scars of her living body. Her creamy ginger fur once again full, vibrant and fluffy.
Tears never left Bright's eyes as she looked around the starry clearing she was lead to. Starry figures were all around. Minding their own business, some welcoming her with purrs and others waving their tails.
Dawnstrike was there, along with Ploverpelt, Blazefeather, Amberpaw. Shadefern, Blazingstar, Dasiyflower, Auroraflame, Windystar. So many... So many cats she cared about, that changed her life. Once again reunited with her.
Brightsky couldn't keep herself from crying and she wasn't sure if it was from relief or sadness. She might have been lost from the world, her life leaving a negative imprint on many. Yet, she was given a chance at peace. To help from the stars. The lovely stars.
Now the bright flower would help light up the night sky in the millions of stars.
Loss of the Bright Flower
