RiverClan Clearing

[lone]

Originally Posted by Clover

She breathed. It is was deep and her lungs fill with frosty air, waking her up. The clearing is empty; no one wants to be out in this weather, no matter how desperate they are for air. Of course, she is not anyone. She is the insane reincarnation of the warrior Cloverpetal. Of course, she hasn't told anyone; who would believe her? Maybe she could convince Russetstar, or one of the elders. Maybe she could've convinced Cinderwalk. Ahh. That still hurts her. She missed the old man too much. She still wishes she knew where he went.

He was like a father.

Cloversplash winced, letting out her breath sharply, her sides contracting and her eyes squeezing shut. Cinderwalk. He had been with her twice; once as Cloverpetal, then as Cloverkit, paw, and splash. And now he was nowhere in site; his loss had been quiet. No one in the clan had noticed his departure except it, and it gnawed deep in her stomach. The memory of him brought back the sharp slice of death, black and impermanent for her. She cried softly, and then layed down on the dirt, sobbing and sobbing, missing him desperately.

It was a cold day. Normally the type of day that would have everyone finding warmer areas, trying to discover a sheltered place where they would be safe and have company, so there would be a conversation going on as well. But the ebony tom didn't want company. It had never been a strong point with him. And it never would be. He had a few close friend, scattered friends, but as far as walking up to someone and just saying 'hello, how are you, my name's Jasperpelt' went-- no way. Not unless he could sense that they might need some help... or company.

The dreaded seven letter word that seemed to haunt his mind.

One cat was nearby... the only one that he could see out at the moment. Wait-- was she crying? Don't. That was the first thought that entered his mind, 'don't.' Don't. Again, like a soft whisper or a cricket chirping, it spoke. DO NOT. That was louder. And yet, in the end, his drive to help overpowered his desire to stay away, knowing it probably wouldn't end well for either one. "I don't, um... I don't mean to bother you... but, uh, is there... is there some way I can help you? You seem really... really upset...." There. A full sentence.

And now it was time to see what she had to say about that.

[BluBunnie]

Originally Posted by Suspiciousmindz

Lotusheart was doing just fine until suddenly the name made her flinch a little bit. It was so familiar, achingly familiar. Fogstep... she thought with a small pain in her chest. A sadness was found deep in her emerald gaze, but she averted them from Fogleap so he wouldn't notice them. Quickly, she cleared her throat. "I'm Lotusheart, but obviously you already know that considering you already spoke my name," she replied with a fake chuckle. Once the pain in her chest was gone, her gaze shifted back to the tom-cat as she waited for him to continue. "It's nice to meet you," she replied, leaving out his name on purpose. This new warrior didn't need to know that his name caused her pain. In fact, he didn't need to know that was always hurting from the loss of her mate.

Fogleap thought he saw a hint of sadness in the she-cat eyes but she quickly looked away so he wasn't sure if it was just him or not. He bowed his head towards Lotusheart, "It's nice to meet you, although I wish we would've met under better circumstances." he chuckled. "Is it strange that I knew your name? I am sorry. I've just heard your name from others thats all." He said.

[wren]

Originally Posted by AbsurdJinx

[ of course! I've been wondering how your cousin got along ^^ and don't worry about your posts - take your time, I understand =3 ]
[ Edit;; 5-6-17 - in case you forgot =3 @Raine ]

Tumblestep noticed the she-cat that's haunted his thoughts for decades approach the fresh-kill pile. Automatically, he stepped forward to greet her, only to be reminded of their most recent conversation. He pulled away again, watching as Daisyshade carried her meal opposite of him. They shared eye contact, and he found himself staring into depths he hadn't known before. Then she looked away, and he glanced at his paws before shaking his head in recovery. She always made him approach her, despite his severe anxiety when it came to starting conversations or nearing other felines. Yet it made him stronger.

However, now, he feared he would not receive a friendly award for padding over to her, but instead, a betrayed look and saddened tone. Tumblestep felt so guilty, so disappointed in himself. He wasn't aware that they could've gotten past his cowardice, and that the lying was what truly destroyed their brief friendship. It didn't even cross his mind that keeping the secret was what ruined them. He believed she avoided him now because he hid while she fought for her life. He'd be mad at himself, too, if he was in her position.

With a moment to inhale heavily, close his eyes, and prepare himself, Tumblestep began the journey to Daisyshade. Once more, he walked as if he were dancing. He'd step forward, then take a step back as if the step had been a mistake or a bad idea. All the while he was shaking nervously, staring at the ground and imagining the worst case scenarios. Finally, he looked up and found himself to be standing no more than two tail-lengths away from Daisyshade.

He hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until his lungs began to scream for air. Tumblestep exhaled slowly, simply staring at the she-cat before him. Everything came at him, suddenly. When they met, he had been so intrigued by her beauty that he just had to approach her and learn her name. He hadn't expected the introduction to extend into a friendship. He's never had a friend like her - he was awful in social situations, which explained his many mistakes. Though his asocial nature was no excuse.

Then they met after the battle where Daisyshade showed her affection. Tumblestep, shocked at the affection, ran away from her. He's never really felt affection. He didn't know his parents, he had zero littermates, his siblings kinda neglected him, and he was too anxiety-ridden to make friends. Not to mention the depression that did terrible things to his mental stability - or lack of mental stability. Unfortunately, his reaction was the wrong one.

And then he told her. He told her of his wrongdoings. Now, Tumblestep and Daisyshade were not as close as they had been, and there was an obvious tension between them. He hid, and he lied. How much more evil could he get?

``I-I know s-s-sorry won't fix any-anything, but I want-want you t-t-to know that I-I am; I am s-sorry.`` He paused, eyes closed, to swallow his saliva with difficulty, and exhale a breathy tuft of air as he gathered himself. ``P-please. T-tell me what-what I c-can do. What I-I can do to-to return t-to us again. I d-don't know what-what to do.`` Tumblestep, being the emotional tom he is, began to tear up. His legs shook and they felt weak, he felt as if he would collapse, but he didn't. His tail hung behind him - he couldn't find the strength to lift it. His green eyes shimmered from the tears, but also with so much emotion. He felt remorse, and depression, and anxiety, and so much more.

Ever since their friendship went downhill, Tumblestep didn't know what to do anymore. What was he without Daisyshade? Nothing. However, he knew she had major reasons to be mad with him, and he would be surprised if she forgave him after their conversation. His paws tingled, and he almost ran for it. He was afraid of her response, but he successfully managed to keep himself in place. He needed to know what she thought of him right now.

Originally Posted by AbsurdJinx

[ of course! I've been wondering how your cousin got along ^^ and don't worry about your posts - take your time, I understand =3 ]
[ Edit;; 5-6-17 - in case you forgot =3 @Raine ]

Tumblestep noticed the she-cat that's haunted his thoughts for decades approach the fresh-kill pile. Automatically, he stepped forward to greet her, only to be reminded of their most recent conversation. He pulled away again, watching as Daisyshade carried her meal opposite of him. They shared eye contact, and he found himself staring into depths he hadn't known before. Then she looked away, and he glanced at his paws before shaking his head in recovery. She always made him approach her, despite his severe anxiety when it came to starting conversations or nearing other felines. Yet it made him stronger.

However, now, he feared he would not receive a friendly award for padding over to her, but instead, a betrayed look and saddened tone. Tumblestep felt so guilty, so disappointed in himself. He wasn't aware that they could've gotten past his cowardice, and that the lying was what truly destroyed their brief friendship. It didn't even cross his mind that keeping the secret was what ruined them. He believed she avoided him now because he hid while she fought for her life. He'd be mad at himself, too, if he was in her position.

With a moment to inhale heavily, close his eyes, and prepare himself, Tumblestep began the journey to Daisyshade. Once more, he walked as if he were dancing. He'd step forward, then take a step back as if the step had been a mistake or a bad idea. All the while he was shaking nervously, staring at the ground and imagining the worst case scenarios. Finally, he looked up and found himself to be standing no more than two tail-lengths away from Daisyshade.

He hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until his lungs began to scream for air. Tumblestep exhaled slowly, simply staring at the she-cat before him. Everything came at him, suddenly. When they met, he had been so intrigued by her beauty that he just had to approach her and learn her name. He hadn't expected the introduction to extend into a friendship. He's never had a friend like her - he was awful in social situations, which explained his many mistakes. Though his asocial nature was no excuse.

Then they met after the battle where Daisyshade showed her affection. Tumblestep, shocked at the affection, ran away from her. He's never really felt affection. He didn't know his parents, he had zero littermates, his siblings kinda neglected him, and he was too anxiety-ridden to make friends. Not to mention the depression that did terrible things to his mental stability - or lack of mental stability. Unfortunately, his reaction was the wrong one.

And then he told her. He told her of his wrongdoings. Now, Tumblestep and Daisyshade were not as close as they had been, and there was an obvious tension between them. He hid, and he lied. How much more evil could he get?

``I-I know s-s-sorry won't fix any-anything, but I want-want you t-t-to know that I-I am; I am s-sorry.`` He paused, eyes closed, to swallow his saliva with difficulty, and exhale a breathy tuft of air as he gathered himself. ``P-please. T-tell me what-what I c-can do. What I-I can do to-to return t-to us again. I d-don't know what-what to do.`` Tumblestep, being the emotional tom he is, began to tear up. His legs shook and they felt weak, he felt as if he would collapse, but he didn't. His tail hung behind him - he couldn't find the strength to lift it. His green eyes shimmered from the tears, but also with so much emotion. He felt remorse, and depression, and anxiety, and so much more.

Ever since their friendship went downhill, Tumblestep didn't know what to do anymore. What was he without Daisyshade? Nothing. However, he knew she had major reasons to be mad with him, and he would be surprised if she forgave him after their conversation. His paws tingled, and he almost ran for it. He was afraid of her response, but he successfully managed to keep himself in place. He needed to know what she thought of him right now.

[ SO! SO! SO! Sorry. Also I'm very sorry it's just a sloppy post. Not even sure what daisy is feeling anymore. ]

It was almost like tumblestep walked to a melody. Like a rehearsed dance he takes such delicate steps, making up this little mind dance. One step forward and one back. Two steps forward and one step back. She shut her eyes and released a sigh. She hadn't expected to see him come. In fact it was like she was daring him with her occasional glance. Though she could see it in his visible struggle she often disregarded it and began to get used to it. Now it was all the more unusual to see it on the outside view. She lowered her gaze to her meal suddenly feeling this drop on appetite. It occurred to her whenever tumblestep was near she lost all will to accomplish the task at paw and would rather talk. It made her annoyed how much it made sense that she grunted. Audible enough to be heard by tumblestep.

Now he was a tail length away. No chance he was turning and veering off. No. This was it. But she couldn't lie how proud she secretly felt. Guilty and proud. Than she raised her head. Matching his gaze. Both greens compelling a deep meaning between them. Now she found herself unable to break their stare. Than he looked away. An internal sigh echoed through her soul and she began to tuck her tail behind her legs. Just as she lost hope in him actually talking his soft voice scared her slightly. She jerked her head back towards him looking hostile even though that's not what she meant it to look like. She stares directly at him. She had been anticipating this with low expectations. Now. Now in this moment. She felt a relief flood through her chest.

It had almost been like she was holding her breath, so dependant on him that she wasn't able to be herself without him. It was strange how she was feeling about this moment, still relieved, proud, angry or depressed. He was actually talking. So that was like a good thing. But he was hesitating. That wasn't as preferred. She looked back at him who didn't seem to be intent on returning the glance she wished to exchange. When he was done she shut her eyes for a moment. Re opening them to him a moment later.

"Tumblestep" she paused for a moment. Than sighed again. She was surprised by her voice. It had been a long while since she talked to him, like this. "I- I-" she than paused a second time. Tears beaded in her eyes and now she felt hopeless to explain how she felt now. Seeing him ready to cry, feeling like she was going to burst any moment. She couldn't quite capture the words and pin them down.

Than. As if on random she began to cry. The pain and agony of this prolonged silence bursting from between her maw in muffled cries. She sank, her tail pulling in between her legs and curling into herself. Attempting to be smaller, to sink into the ground and disappear into oblivion. This was certainly not part of her plan. She looked up at tumblestep, the tears streaking through her eyelashes and down her cheeks. Her claws had slid out and pricked at the ground, her eyes darting from him to the gro to him. What was wrong with her?

"I... Th- is was all my fault" she suddenly broke out. She sniffles and sucked back Asia her eyes shutting tight as the tears continued down her cheeks. She looked back at him opening her eyes to stare at him from her submissive expression. "I.. I moved to quick.. I just... I'm sorry this was me... You do- don't ha- have to do anything... Plea- please" she whimpers. Her whole body shook with the fear he would flee.

[RedHead]

Originally Posted by Ever

Greykit groaned in annoyance at his response. "You sound just like my mother." She sneered, her fur ruffled angrily. She believed that she was ready for the outside world, she just needed some cat to take her. Though she didn't care if it were Spicepaw or not. Though something about his preaching of the rules did intrigue her. Not in a positive way, rather in a pretty negative way. She'd heard the whispers of the clan, taking in loners and such. She thought that was pitiful, they already had enough mouths to feed! "So you're not born in the clan?" She asked at the end, trying to piece everything together in her head. She was sure that he wouldn't enjoy her reaction if he answered yes, though she didn't care. He wasn't clanborn so he was below her. The steel-headed kit eagerly awaited his response, fluffy fur still ruffled defensively and eyes filled with challenge. She was surely a kit that would get herself into plenty of trouble when she got older.

Spicepaw rolled his eyes at her comment about her mother. Well, that's definitely a first. He was quite irritated with this kit at the moment. When did kits get to be so rude? Or have they just always been? Spicepaw wondered if he was this annoying as a kit. Did his mother have to deal with his snootiness? Most certainly not, he supposed at least. At Greykit's next statement, Spicepaw's eyes widened in surprise. Why would she think that?! Then, as he went over his words in his head, he realized that it ha sounded a bit like he had not been born in the clan. He laughed a little, more at himself than Greykit. "Oh, no. I was most certainly born in the clan. Pure Riverclan blood runs through me." Spicepaw meowed, and couldn't help but puff out his chest ever so slightly with the smallest bit of pride. "My mother is Shellfeather, and my father is.. Russestar." The russet tom faltered a bit at the end of his sentence, thinking of his father, whom he was not very close to. Spicepaw was surrounded by females in his life, his mother, and all of his sisters, he had never had a brother. His mother had always told him he needed to be close to his father, get in that tom to tom bonding, but that hadn't really happened. "So yeah, I am definitely clanborn. My mother and I just got..
separated from the clan for a little bit."

[Ever]

Originally Posted by RedHead

Spicepaw rolled his eyes at her comment about her mother. Well, that's definitely a first. He was quite irritated with this kit at the moment. When did kits get to be so rude? Or have they just always been? Spicepaw wondered if he was this annoying as a kit. Did his mother have to deal with his snootiness? Most certainly not, he supposed at least. At Greykit's next statement, Spicepaw's eyes widened in surprise. Why would she think that?! Then, as he went over his words in his head, he realized that it ha sounded a bit like he had not been born in the clan. He laughed a little, more at himself than Greykit. "Oh, no. I was most certainly born in the clan. Pure Riverclan blood runs through me." Spicepaw meowed, and couldn't help but puff out his chest ever so slightly with the smallest bit of pride. "My mother is Shellfeather, and my father is.. Russestar." The russet tom faltered a bit at the end of his sentence, thinking of his father, whom he was not very close to. Spicepaw was surrounded by females in his life, his mother, and all of his sisters, he had never had a brother. His mother had always told him he needed to be close to his father, get in that tom to tom bonding, but that hadn't really happened. "So yeah, I am definitely clanborn. My mother and I just got..
separated from the clan for a little bit."

Unsurprisingly, Greykit was rather unfazed by this news. She didn't care that he was the clan leader's son, she simply felt a slight disappointment that he had leverage over her. Though she now understood why he wanted to follow the rules, she just didn't want to accept that. Her tail flicked back and forth behind her with irritation at her situation and she huffed as a spoiled kit does. Greykit wouldn't understand what the clan had been through, she'd been born in the era of post peace and reconstruction. She'd never had a truly frightening experience in her life and it led her to be rather uncontrollable. The mentor who received her would most definitely be in for a wild ride. "Well at least now I understand why you don't want to follow the rules. Scared of your dad?" She asked, the mock was still in her eyes but not as strong in her voice. The tabby molly had some respect and decency deep down, but it just had a hard time getting out of the aggressive bundle of fur. Perhaps she was this way for lack of seeing her father around to discipline. Her mother had her paws too full with all her siblings to be able to successfully implement any sort of punishments. So she continued life in her aggressive and snotty way, bothering apprentices until one day she would join them.

[Fel]

Originally Posted by woly

Even hearing his mates voice was such a relief to him. His body felt exsauted, wanting to just curl up in their shared nest and just rest. But there was a kit balanced on his back, and he wanted to have him settled before anything else. ¨Hi love, I missed you too. Even if it was olny two days I was gone it felt like moons.¨ he gave a soft chuckle. He looked on his back to where the kit was settled, ¨This is Shiverkit,I wanted to raise him myself, I know Im not queen but hes old enough to eat pray and-¨ his rambling stopped when his mate thought he was gone. He gave a soft smile, ¨Im never leaving for good, I promise you.¨ his voice was sincere. he knew a lot had happened to Russet in his life time, apprentices dying,kits dying, and exiling his own sister. And then Shellfeather had left. It seemed everything important had left his mate, and he didnt want him to think the same of him. He felt slight guilt for when he left for Thunderclan, and how scary that had been for the both of them. ¨I promise.¨ he whispered as a quiet promise between them. When his mate leaned close, he was expecting sweet nothings whispered in his ears or something,not words of pure fear. Dont look...behind me? ¨Russet, whats wrong? You look terrified...whats behind me?¨ his voice was unsure, quiet and searching for more detail.

Originally Posted by RedHead

Of course, soon enough, Shell was able to spot Russetstar, and she stood up, eyes widening. "There he is. I knew he'd be around here." She purred to Rabbitpaw, then started to walk over. Whisperblaze was with him, and Shellfeather knew that the two were close friends, she didn't know what had happened between the two while she was gone. When Russetstar spotted her, Shellfeather stopped dead from his gaze. Is... is that fear? Shellfeather did not understand. Why would Russetstar be afraid to see her? She hadn't seen him in a while. Wouldn't he be happy? Shouldn't he be happy? Shell wanted to continue to walk towards him, but she had a feeling something was wrong. The white she-cat kustered up her courage and kept walking, worry flashing in her gaze. Whisper hadn't turned around, but Shellfeather could tell that he had something in his mouth. Little did she know it was a kit. Once she reached them, she let out a small, uncertain meow. "Rusststar?"

Spicepaw watched as his mother walked across the clearing to Russetstar. Upon seeing his father's worried gaze, Spice stood up and followed Shellfeather over. He would not let his mother be hurt, and it looked like something was going to go down. Spicepaw stopped beside his mother as she let out a small meow, calling to, who she still believed to be, her mate. Spicepaw stared at his father, yellow-green eyes meeting yellow-green.

@fenic

Originally Posted by Lilly

@fenic! @RedHead @woly

"Burnet... helps stop minor cuts... Chamomile, keeps heart-rate down. Daisy-leaf, for aching joints... Sorrel, but only in small amounts..."

As she emerged from the medicine den, Cricketpaw's brow was furrowed deep in concentration, tail tip flickering behind her as she murmured the herbs known for traveling under her breath. After the late training session she had with Geckoleaf last night she felt as though it would be best to repeat them over and over to herself so they fully stuck with her. She'd barely been outside the medicine den since her return from the Star Cave, where she had been inducted into the medicine cat world, so she blinked her eyes against the light that shone down in camp. "Ah, fresh air," she breathed, closing her eyes as she let it wash over her senses. It occurred to her that she hadn't seen or talked to her dad or Whisperblaze in awhile, and as she let her gaze sweep camp, she wondered where the two love-birds could possibly be.

As her gaze landed on them, though, she inhaled sharply, feeling as though claws were raking through her chest. There, standing a little before her father, was the one cat she least wanted to see ever again; Shellfeather. Each muscle in her body went tense, and she narrowed her eyes a little. Heart thudding in her chest, the young medicine cat apprentice just stood there, unable to speak or move or do anything to let the group know that she was standing just a couple fox-lengths away. Instead, she just stared, her firey gaze locked on Shellfeather's form as a deep rage burned within her.

"...Shiverkit? He's adorable, Whisper- and I promise that too, I promise, I promise..." He mumbled quietly, eyes shut in a stress-inducing feeling once he heard Shellfeather's familiar voice- he wanted to say so much, to scream his heart out, to tell her how much pain her disappearance had caused him. He'd waited for so long to see her, but she'd never came back, and he had to move on. "I-I think that you should take him to the nursery, though-- I think there's going to be some... loud discussions here." He whispered to his mate, nuzzling him quickly as he smiled weakly.

Waiting a few moments, he turned on his paws quickly, letting out a deep sigh as he now was facing Shellfeather- the cat he'd once loved, and the cat who'd abandoned him, as he knew it. "...You were gone for over six moons." He stated bluntly, his ears still twitching with a slight nervous feeling as he responded to her greeting, trying to stay as calm as he could. He was a leader now, and he had to keep his cool here, for the clan's sake.

[graves]

Originally Posted by fenic!

"...Shiverkit? He's adorable, Whisper- and I promise that too, I promise, I promise..." He mumbled quietly, eyes shut in a stress-inducing feeling once he heard Shellfeather's familiar voice- he wanted to say so much, to scream his heart out, to tell her how much pain her disappearance had caused him. He'd waited for so long to see her, but she'd never came back, and he had to move on. "I-I think that you should take him to the nursery, though-- I think there's going to be some... loud discussions here." He whispered to his mate, nuzzling him quickly as he smiled weakly.

Waiting a few moments, he turned on his paws quickly, letting out a deep sigh as he now was facing Shellfeather- the cat he'd once loved, and the cat who'd abandoned him, as he knew it. "...You were gone for over six moons." He stated bluntly, his ears still twitching with a slight nervous feeling as he responded to her greeting, trying to stay as calm as he could. He was a leader now, and he had to keep his cool here, for the clan's sake.

@RedHead @Lilly

Whisperblazes ears twitched, his heart dropped. He figured his mate wasnt going to tell him anything,its how he was when it came to things that were serious, didnt want others to worry and cause trouble. It was kind, he appreciated it greatly at times but he wanted to be there aswel. he didnt want to stick to the sidelines of Russets life, he didnt know many of his mates kits, had never met Shellfeather, hadnt even met his friends. He wanted to be there.
He turned around.
His heart dropped, and mouth gaped at the sight. Its couldnt be, fur trickling up against his spine in pure shock. Shellfeather. She hadnt seen or heard about the cats disappearance for over half a year,six moons. It was alot of time, everyone had moved on and had made their own reality around their lose. Whiserblaze had comforted Russet himself of his loss, it was a mourn that they shared silently everyday, no words were needed. But she was back now, their reality would soon again be changed and altered, and the first thought that came to Whispers mind was that he wasnt going to cut those changes. Heck, Shell and Russet were mates before,he remembered when the tom had first developed feelings for the other cat. It all felt like it was crumbled when the sight of her came to his gaze. he trembled slightly, his form shaking a bit in uncertainty. He didnt know what to make of this, he didnt want to lose his mate that he loved to his old mate, which in his mind rightfully had a point to be angry with him since she came back.
He looked back at him.
¨I-¨
he stuttered,cursing himself silently.
¨I have to go.¨
He walked away.

[spade]

Originally Posted by woly

@RedHead @Lilly

Whisperblazes ears twitched, his heart dropped. He figured his mate wasnt going to tell him anything,its how he was when it came to things that were serious, didnt want others to worry and cause trouble. It was kind, he appreciated it greatly at times but he wanted to be there aswel. he didnt want to stick to the sidelines of Russets life, he didnt know many of his mates kits, had never met Shellfeather, hadnt even met his friends. He wanted to be there.
He turned around.
His heart dropped, and mouth gaped at the sight. Its couldnt be, fur trickling up against his spine in pure shock. Shellfeather. She hadnt seen or heard about the cats disappearance for over half a year,six moons. It was alot of time, everyone had moved on and had made their own reality around their lose. Whiserblaze had comforted Russet himself of his loss, it was a mourn that they shared silently everyday, no words were needed. But she was back now, their reality would soon again be changed and altered, and the first thought that came to Whispers mind was that he wasnt going to cut those changes. Heck, Shell and Russet were mates before,he remembered when the tom had first developed feelings for the other cat. It all felt like it was crumbled when the sight of her came to his gaze. he trembled slightly, his form shaking a bit in uncertainty. He didnt know what to make of this, he didnt want to lose his mate that he loved to his old mate, which in his mind rightfully had a point to be angry with him since she came back.
He looked back at him.
¨I-¨
he stuttered,cursing himself silently.
¨I have to go.¨
He walked away.

As she watched the quick exchange between her father and Whisperblaze, Cricketpaw remembered her own shock of learning that the feline was of interest to her father. She thought surely he might still be bent over backwards over her mother. But as she got to know the both of them, and saw they way they looked at each other, she had grown a soft spoke for the quiet warrior, and seeing him upset now nearly broke her heart. He was innocent in all of this; the only thing he had in this was unconditional love for Russetstar. And now, it appeared they both had a kit too.

With one last glare in her mother's direction, the young Bengal bounded after Whisperblaze, calling out to him as she got closer. "Hey," she mewed, her tone sympathetic as she fell in step beside the warrior. She let her pelt brush his slightly as a sign of comfort for the warrior. Being the Clan's next medicine cat, this was her chance to put some of the skills to use; not only did physical wounds need attention, but mental and emotional wounds as well. And not only was this one of her Clanmates, but her father's mate. When she had taken the oath to become the apprentice, Cricketpaw had also silently vowed to watch over her small family to make sure nothing else happened to them. Blinking her eyes to bring her thoughts back to the present, she turned them on the sullen warrior, hoping that he didn't mind her joining him to wherever he was going.

[RedHead]

Originally Posted by fenic!

"...Shiverkit? He's adorable, Whisper- and I promise that too, I promise, I promise..." He mumbled quietly, eyes shut in a stress-inducing feeling once he heard Shellfeather's familiar voice- he wanted to say so much, to scream his heart out, to tell her how much pain her disappearance had caused him. He'd waited for so long to see her, but she'd never came back, and he had to move on. "I-I think that you should take him to the nursery, though-- I think there's going to be some... loud discussions here." He whispered to his mate, nuzzling him quickly as he smiled weakly.

Waiting a few moments, he turned on his paws quickly, letting out a deep sigh as he now was facing Shellfeather- the cat he'd once loved, and the cat who'd abandoned him, as he knew it. "...You were gone for over six moons." He stated bluntly, his ears still twitching with a slight nervous feeling as he responded to her greeting, trying to stay as calm as he could. He was a leader now, and he had to keep his cool here, for the clan's sake.

Originally Posted by woly

@RedHead @Lilly

Whisperblazes ears twitched, his heart dropped. He figured his mate wasnt going to tell him anything,its how he was when it came to things that were serious, didnt want others to worry and cause trouble. It was kind, he appreciated it greatly at times but he wanted to be there aswel. he didnt want to stick to the sidelines of Russets life, he didnt know many of his mates kits, had never met Shellfeather, hadnt even met his friends. He wanted to be there.
He turned around.
His heart dropped, and mouth gaped at the sight. Its couldnt be, fur trickling up against his spine in pure shock. Shellfeather. She hadnt seen or heard about the cats disappearance for over half a year,six moons. It was alot of time, everyone had moved on and had made their own reality around their lose. Whiserblaze had comforted Russet himself of his loss, it was a mourn that they shared silently everyday, no words were needed. But she was back now, their reality would soon again be changed and altered, and the first thought that came to Whispers mind was that he wasnt going to cut those changes. Heck, Shell and Russet were mates before,he remembered when the tom had first developed feelings for the other cat. It all felt like it was crumbled when the sight of her came to his gaze. he trembled slightly, his form shaking a bit in uncertainty. He didnt know what to make of this, he didnt want to lose his mate that he loved to his old mate, which in his mind rightfully had a point to be angry with him since she came back.
He looked back at him.
¨I-¨
he stuttered,cursing himself silently.
¨I have to go.¨
He walked away.

(-wiggles fingers over keyboard- get ready for things to go down)

Shellfeather watched Russetstar nuzzle Whisperblaze, and felt pain shoot through her heart. Of course he'd moved on, she should've known. She had had just a small glimmer of hope that he would've waited for her, and that hope had grown into a blazing fire. But the sight of that one, small, tiny gesture, yet filled with love, made Shellfeather's hopes come crashing down. She knew it was her fault, she blamed herself for leaving. So, she would stand there, full of strength, and would not back down. She would not cry. She could face her mate... it hurt to say the word. Was he even that anymore? You are strong Shellfeather. You will not cry. Shellfeather had done a lot of crying in her life, but those times were over. She had to stay strong. She had to show her kits, and her ma- no, Russetstar, that she was a stronger cat now. That she had grown. Besides, she did not want to hurt any cat, even Whisperblaze. And when he walked away, well.... Shellfeather felt even worse.
"Yes, I know. I was gone for so long." Shellfeather's face showed deep regret, her ears drooping slightly. "I was mourning at that time, and not thinking clearly. I took the kits to go see Stormkit's grave, but it was a very stormy night." Shellfeather's bright blue eyes clouded as she started to remember what happened. "The river was overflowing, and we got too close. Rabbitpaw went back to the camp, not wanting to risk being near the river when it was that ferocious. She is so smart." Shellfeather smiled, but it was a bittersweet smile, as the reality of what happened next was sinking in. "A wave came and swept up Spicepaw and Cricketpaw, and I dove in after them. I had to save them, they are my kits. I found Cricketpaw, and dragged her as close to the shore as I could get, onto a branch. But, I was stupid. I left her there to go and find Spicepaw." Shellfeather turned her head to see her daughter staring at her, anger burning in the depths of her daughters blue eyes. She had heard Cricketpaw come out of the medicine den, it was a mother's instinct. And now seeing her daughter staring at her with so much hatred.... It hurt worse than seeing Russetstar with Whisperblaze.
Shellfeather turned back to Russetstar and continued her story. "I was washed up against the bank of the river, but I hadn't found Spicepaw. I felt horrible, and I assumed he was dead. And then I felt even worse, because I left Cricketpaw, who was alive." Shellfeather could feel tears brimming at the edges of her eyes, but she took a deep breath and continued. She would not cry. "A few days after traveling to find Cricketpaw again, I found Spicepaw.
He was thin and a little hurt, but he was alive. So, we started to follow the river back up, hoping to reach Riverclan again. We searched for Cricketpaw on the way, but never found her." Shellfeather could feel the tears starting to fall down her face, but she stayed strong, continuing on. "S-so we continued traveling, but we had to stop for a moon because of a rogue attack. B-because I was w-w-weak." The tears were streaming now, and Shellfeather cast a look down at her leg, the one that had delayed them for so long, the one with the long scar down it.
Shell was a mess, tears streaming down her cheeks, and legs shaking, but she stood tall, and kept her head high, and tail erect. She had told herself she would stay strong, and she was. Sure, she was crying, but she was strong. Shellfeather cast her blue gaze around again, meeting the gazes of Cricketpaw, Rabbitpaw, and Spicepaw, before returning it to Russetstar. "I know you've moved on, and that you're hurt by seeing me here again. I know you probably don't want to see me ever again, and if I need to leave, I will gladly do so. But let Spicepaw stay. He is a strong cat, and he deserves to live here, he deserves to get to know his father." The tears were slowing, and Shellfeather stared into Russetstar's eyes, her blue hues alighting with a sparkling fire of blue flames. "I knew that there was a chance that there would be nothing left for me when I returned to Riverclan. But you know why I did it? To know what happened to Cricketpaw. So Spicepaw could grow up in his true home." Deep breath. "Riverclan is my home, and it will always be. No matter how far away I might be. So, if you want me to leave, just say so. But know, I will always love my home, and my kits. And I will always love you." Shellfeather let her words linger, then turned around, and watched Cricketpaw walk away with Whisperblaze.
I am so, so very sorry I just left. It was very wrong of me, I know that now. She bowed her head, all signs of pride and strength draining out of her body. You have the right to hate me, and if you do, I fully understand it. Shellfeather then stood once more, her tail and head held high. "I have returned with hope, and I will leave with dignity if required."

[graves]

Originally Posted by Lilly

As she watched the quick exchange between her father and Whisperblaze, Cricketpaw remembered her own shock of learning that the feline was of interest to her father. She thought surely he might still be bent over backwards over her mother. But as she got to know the both of them, and saw they way they looked at each other, she had grown a soft spoke for the quiet warrior, and seeing him upset now nearly broke her heart. He was innocent in all of this; the only thing he had in this was unconditional love for Russetstar. And now, it appeared they both had a kit too.

With one last glare in her mother's direction, the young Bengal bounded after Whisperblaze, calling out to him as she got closer. "Hey," she mewed, her tone sympathetic as she fell in step beside the warrior. She let her pelt brush his slightly as a sign of comfort for the warrior. Being the Clan's next medicine cat, this was her chance to put some of the skills to use; not only did physical wounds need attention, but mental and emotional wounds as well. And not only was this one of her Clanmates, but her father's mate. When she had taken the oath to become the apprentice, Cricketpaw had also silently vowed to watch over her small family to make sure nothing else happened to them. Blinking her eyes to bring her thoughts back to the present, she turned them on the sullen warrior, hoping that he didn't mind her joining him to wherever he was going.

It was all so simple,well,actually nothing in his life was simple. He had a mate that had used to have a mate, and they have multiple kits together. They both themselves have lost many kits,apprentices, and know the meaning of loss. He had felt right with Russetstar though, he was always there, No matter what loss he faced, no matter what abuse he was put through,Russet was always close to him.
He felt so far away now.
He kept walking,planning to go to the nursery at this point. Something, something to grasp his attention to not think about this. But it all came crumbling down at once. He knew of cricketpaw, they hadnt talked to much but was rather fond of the other cat. As soon as he felt her pelt against his in a silent comfort, he broke down. He was shy sure, he usually kept things bottled up until it was to much for him, he didnt like to bother or pester about his feelings. But this was to much. He let out a quiet whimper, allowing his shoulders to shake as he felt his own nerves racking in his body. he hadnt cried about anything. He hadnt let his emotions out to anybody. He hadnt cried when his sons had died, he hadnt cried when he left Riverclan and how scary that had been for him. He hadnt cried when he had to leave Russet, he hadnt let any of it out.
He let tears fall down his cheeks.
He had suffered loss but he considered Russet found, something that can not be lost to him and had always been held as close as possible, some cats at times thinking they were more then friends before they had even gotten together. Her had always loved Russet dearly, even before he had admitted it to himself. When he had gotten his old forbidden mate Tumbledrop, he always held Russet closer. It seemed everything lead back to the tom, which is why it lead him to believe they were made for eachother, stuck at the hip when it came to anything.
But it all felt like a faint memory.
Now with shellfeather back, the future was uncertain to him. Was Russet going to leave him for her? He could rightfully so, they have been mates for aslong as he could remember. But with the way Russet looks at him with those amber eyes, it makes his heart melt as if its the first time. He didnt want to lose that. he was scared. Terrified. Unsure if he was going to lose his unlosable too. He didnt want that. He stopped walking, his body shaking while standing as his head hung low as he allowed his body to shudder with quiet whimpers and sobs, once bright blue eyes now flooded and covered ina a layer of glass tears that sunk down his pure white and grey cheeks.
God, the things that tom could do to him.