True selves revealed

[Wings]

[ @Zesty Mango ]
-Windpaw-

Her hunting session with Ashfeather had been... awkward. But, thankfully after returning from that, she had spotted Gullpaw. The one cat she could actually be herself around. Her one true friend. Tail curled underneath her as she crossed the clearing fearfully, dodging cats walking around doing whatever, she made it to her friend. Taking a moment to look at her before crouching down to her fearfully. Almost hiding in her shade, for once, Windpaw didn’t really think twice about something. This just felt... alright. She could trust Gullpaw so, it’d be fine, right? Maybe she was a bit close to her friend, their fur almost touching each other but, this was Gullpaw. Correct? Correct. Probably.

[Mango]

Originally Posted by Wings

[ @Zesty Mango ]
-Windpaw-

Her hunting session with Ashfeather had been... awkward. But, thankfully after returning from that, she had spotted Gullpaw. The one cat she could actually be herself around. Her one true friend. Tail curled underneath her as she crossed the clearing fearfully, dodging cats walking around doing whatever, she made it to her friend. Taking a moment to look at her before crouching down to her fearfully. Almost hiding in her shade, for once, Windpaw didn’t really think twice about something. This just felt... alright. She could trust Gullpaw so, it’d be fine, right? Maybe she was a bit close to her friend, their fur almost touching each other but, this was Gullpaw. Correct? Correct. Probably.

Gullpaw glanced up at the little scrap, pathetic She thought before forcing on a little smile, she had no friends either so since Shockholly wouldn’t let her die, at least she could try to keep some company. Well just for that little while until she could escape Shockholly and go die.

[Wings]

[ @Zesty Mango ]
-Windpaw-

Windpaw didn't notice the tiny smile she was given, nor did give one in return. Curling closer to Gullpaw, both she-cats fur were soon getting wet. A normal feeling for Windpaw, and as she was the one sobbing, it didn't bother her. She had more things on her mind than just being a little wet.

[Mango]

Originally Posted by Wings

[ @Zesty Mango ]
-Windpaw-

Windpaw didn't notice the tiny smile she was given, nor did give one in return. Curling closer to Gullpaw, both she-cats fur were soon getting wet. A normal feeling for Windpaw, and as she was the one sobbing, it didn't bother her. She had more things on her mind than just being a little wet.

Gullpaw felt Windpaws tears were making her fur wet,” Keep your tears to yourself.” she snapped not wanting to be mean she just got angry and this made her want to cry herself.

[Wings]

[ @Zesty Mango ]
-Windpaw-

At Gullpaw’s snapped voice, Windpaw jumped back, cowering. She was unable to speak but, her mouth was formed to the word ‘what?’ In her total shock and disbelief. Tears were streaming down her face faster, blurring her vision unless she blinked to push it out of her eyes.

[Mango]

Originally Posted by Wings

[ @Zesty Mango ]
-Windpaw-

At Gullpaw’s snapped voice, Windpaw jumped back, cowering. She was unable to speak but, her mouth was formed to the word ‘what?’ In her total shock and disbelief. Tears were streaming down her face faster, blurring her vision unless she blinked to push it out of her eyes.

Gullpaw narrowed her eyes, Windpaw had been nothing but nice to her but frankly she was over it,” Can’t you keep it together, you’re not a kit anymore, you’re an apprentice you should act like it.” she snapped lashing her tail in rage.

[Wings]

[ @Zesty Mango ]
-Windpaw-

She was frozen with fear. This was Gullpaw. She had been her friend! What had happened!? What had she done?! Tears streaming down her face like a waterfall, "Wha-wha-wha.." She couldn't speak, even though she was trying so hard! Why couldn't she just speak!
Windpaw's tail was curled underneath her, trying to pierce into her skin even though it never would.

[Mango]

Originally Posted by Wings

[ @Zesty Mango ]
-Windpaw-

She was frozen with fear. This was Gullpaw. She had been her friend! What had happened!? What had she done?! Tears streaming down her face like a waterfall, "Wha-wha-wha.." She couldn't speak, even though she was trying so hard! Why couldn't she just speak!
Windpaw's tail was curled underneath her, trying to pierce into her skin even though it never would.

Gullpaw snorted,” Did I say cry more, I said act your age and suck it up. You can’t be coddled your hole life, you have to grow up. The world is terrible, parents hate you, siblings die, friends turn on you, and you can die slowly and painful. You need to be ready for it, or end it all now.”

[Wings]

TRIGGER WARNING - do not read on from here as this has heavy self harm, suicide, depression, abuse, and being unable to cope.
[ @Zesty Mango @Rani - I’ve actually decided for Wind to get through this herself! Tho I do have some ideas of where Crowpaw can fit in once she’s back in camp and being treated <3 ]
-Windpaw-

Gullpaw was not her friend, never was. She could see that now. And her harsh words.. she couldn’t take it and just sprinted away. Her full speed showing as she disappeared in a blur out of camp.

Sprinting across the moor, she could barely see through her tears. Through all the pain. Her paws were taking her to the cliffs now as the word of her former ‘friend’ rang like screeches through her head. ’End it all now.’ That was what she was going to do. End it all. Right then, right now. She stopped at the cliffs, she just couldn’t find anything to release what she was feeling. She tried biting her self, causing pain, blood drew but she felt nothing. Her body was num as it shook uncontrollably. She clawed at her belly, did nothing. Windpaw started to pace through her sobs, seeing a thistle bush, she rushed towards it. Crashing into it causing pain to run through her body, it did something although it was so little. A little more blood trickled out of her body through some large thorns in her body. Why couldn’t it JUST GO AWAY. Feeling as if she had exhausted her options, she came back to the cliff. Looking down at the crashing waves and seagulls. It was the only option she saw. But it couldn’t be! She wanted to live even though she couldn’t say it for herself. Her legs collapsing under her, she feel into a laying position. Sobbing into her paws.
“Why.. why why why why why.” Was all she could say to herself. “Why can’t you just be normal!” Windpaw was talking to herself now, trying to understand what she couldn’t at this moment. Why she was like this, why she was a failure in her eyes. Why she was a runt, why Gullpaw faked everything. Why she couldn’t just get rid of this feeling, this PAIN. Jumping was an option but she just felt something inside her telling her not to. This inner turmoil was killing her from the inside out! And with all of her hyperventilating, she was getting a headache. She just couldn’t stop her shallow breathes, she just.. felt herself slip into a sleep. Passing out because all of this stress, all of this pain, all of her missing breaths she couldn’t get herself to take. They were all gone now. She felt comfortable now, laying right near that cliff, passed out because of all the pain she felt. It was gone right now, she wasn’t thinking. Her body had given out, and had forced her to sleep deeply for once in her life. Even with her mildly bloodied body, she was sleeping. Finally sleeping.