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September 26th, 2023, 12:38 PM
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steal my heart, its yours
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Join Date: Sep 2021
Status: Without You by Citizen Soldier
Gender: Female(she/her)
Bump Policy: 72 hours
Posts: 6,516
My Mood:
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Re: Coming Home
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookysock
Well, she didn't know how to respond to that, but talking was definitely something she could do. "Oh, well... When I was little, my dog Max died. I was just in second grade, so it was awful when I heard... and my dad did everything he could to cheer me up. He bought me a little goldfish... which I immediately flushed down the toilet. I remember being really mad at dad for trying to replace Max, so I didn't talk to him for a long time... but it's hard to stay mad at him." Caroline smiled, and took off her glasses. She wiped them on her shirt, then put them back on.
"I think I really hurt his feelings, back then. Mum told me about how every night he'd go on and on about his plans to make me happy; and she told me how she barely got any sleep on those nights, because dad can go on for... a long time."
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He nods his head, trying not to smile. His parents didn't allow pets, but he had always wanted a dog - until the other Germans started to blow up tanks with German Shepards. He frowns at the thoughts of the dogs when they died. He then smiles at Caroline again. "We were never allowed to have pets."
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September 26th, 2023, 12:40 PM
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don't eat me
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Join Date: Jul 2022
Status: breaching the contract
Gender: dumpster puppet
Bump Policy: If I've failed to respond in a timely manner, please know that I'm trying very hard to be a person
Posts: 17,573
My Mood:
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Re: Coming Home
Quote:
Originally Posted by soldier
He nods his head, trying not to smile. His parents didn't allow pets, but he had always wanted a dog - until the other Germans started to blow up tanks with German Shepards. He frowns at the thoughts of the dogs when they died. He then smiles at Caroline again. "We were never allowed to have pets."
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"That sounds like hell," she said, shaking her head. "Max was my best friend. I can't remember any part of my childhood where he wasn't there."
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September 27th, 2023, 08:36 AM
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steal my heart, its yours
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Join Date: Sep 2021
Status: Without You by Citizen Soldier
Gender: Female(she/her)
Bump Policy: 72 hours
Posts: 6,516
My Mood:
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Re: Coming Home
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookysock
"That sounds like hell," she said, shaking her head. "Max was my best friend. I can't remember any part of my childhood where he wasn't there."
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"Well... you can't miss something you've never had." He admits quietly before jumping at the sound of sirens. His arms come up as if he's holding a rifle but he allows his hands to fall back to his side slowly, and most people around him start to laugh. He flushes with anger and his hands clench into fists at his side.
"I am sorry for my... reaction. Sometimes I think I am still on the field because of the noises. Explosions, sirens, gunfire - they all set me... off."
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September 27th, 2023, 12:06 PM
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don't eat me
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Join Date: Jul 2022
Status: breaching the contract
Gender: dumpster puppet
Bump Policy: If I've failed to respond in a timely manner, please know that I'm trying very hard to be a person
Posts: 17,573
My Mood:
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Re: Coming Home
Quote:
Originally Posted by soldier
"Well... you can't miss something you've never had." He admits quietly before jumping at the sound of sirens. His arms come up as if he's holding a rifle but he allows his hands to fall back to his side slowly, and most people around him start to laugh. He flushes with anger and his hands clench into fists at his side.
"I am sorry for my... reaction. Sometimes I think I am still on the field because of the noises. Explosions, sirens, gunfire - they all set me... off."
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She jumps a bit as Wilhelm reacts to the siren, but when he apologizes, she shakes her head. "You shouldn't apologize for that," Caroline said, frowning. "I completely understand. And all these people should, too, but obviously they're not mature enough for that," she added the last part in a bit of a louder tone, glaring at the bystanders who laughed.
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September 27th, 2023, 12:29 PM
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steal my heart, its yours
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Join Date: Sep 2021
Status: Without You by Citizen Soldier
Gender: Female(she/her)
Bump Policy: 72 hours
Posts: 6,516
My Mood:
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Re: Coming Home
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookysock
She jumps a bit as Wilhelm reacts to the siren, but when he apologizes, she shakes her head. "You shouldn't apologize for that," Caroline said, frowning. "I completely understand. And all these people should, too, but obviously they're not mature enough for that," she added the last part in a bit of a louder tone, glaring at the bystanders who laughed.
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He looks at the ground and shrugs. "I'd explain it, but... I am unsure if you want me to."
sometimes it's all too much he was planning on telling his mother. he knew of a soldier who went home and hung himself when he found his wife with his brother.
At the thought of brother, his heart clenches and he closes his eyes again. Wilhelm then opens his eyes and looks at Caroline.
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September 27th, 2023, 12:30 PM
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don't eat me
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Join Date: Jul 2022
Status: breaching the contract
Gender: dumpster puppet
Bump Policy: If I've failed to respond in a timely manner, please know that I'm trying very hard to be a person
Posts: 17,573
My Mood:
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Re: Coming Home
Quote:
Originally Posted by soldier
He looks at the ground and shrugs. "I'd explain it, but... I am unsure if you want me to."
sometimes it's all too much he was planning on telling his mother. he knew of a soldier who went home and hung himself when he found his wife with his brother.
At the thought of brother, his heart clenches and he closes his eyes again. Wilhelm then opens his eyes and looks at Caroline.
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Caroline shrugs. "If you talk, I'll listen."
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September 27th, 2023, 12:37 PM
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steal my heart, its yours
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Join Date: Sep 2021
Status: Without You by Citizen Soldier
Gender: Female(she/her)
Bump Policy: 72 hours
Posts: 6,516
My Mood:
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Re: Coming Home
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookysock
Caroline shrugs. "If you talk, I'll listen."
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he hadn't planned on such a reaction.
"Sometimes it is... Too much. I seen things I never wanted to see, do things I never thought about doing. Sometimes I regret it, other times I tell myself I only did it to stay alive. It was... A lot. Blood, death, killing... But I lived. Somehow. He was better with a gun - more brave and physical. He was better than I was in every single way. But... I was the one who came home. I was the one who returned here to Dresden - he would have handled this better. He would have made them all smile and laugh and love him, like he did with almost everything else.
Instead, I am stuck here. Everyone's enemy. The last person people want to see.
I didn't want to do it - I would have been killed if I didn't. I think it would have been better if I allowed them to kill me. I would not have all this blood on my hands, I would not have these thoughts in my head. I think it would have been better - but he wouldn't. He'd have wanted me to continue fighting. He'd tell me not to be weak, to ignore them because they don't know.
But I can't. It's all too much. I can still hear them screaming, feel them in my arms as they die... I don't think I can ever-"
Then he stops and closes his eyes, his breathing heavy.
"I don't think I can ever... Be normal. Not after going through all of... that."
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September 27th, 2023, 12:43 PM
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don't eat me
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Join Date: Jul 2022
Status: breaching the contract
Gender: dumpster puppet
Bump Policy: If I've failed to respond in a timely manner, please know that I'm trying very hard to be a person
Posts: 17,573
My Mood:
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Re: Coming Home
Quote:
Originally Posted by soldier
he hadn't planned on such a reaction.
"Sometimes it is... Too much. I seen things I never wanted to see, do things I never thought about doing. Sometimes I regret it, other times I tell myself I only did it to stay alive. It was... A lot. Blood, death, killing... But I lived. Somehow. He was better with a gun - more brave and physical. He was better than I was in every single way. But... I was the one who came home. I was the one who returned here to Dresden - he would have handled this better. He would have made them all smile and laugh and love him, like he did with almost everything else.
Instead, I am stuck here. Everyone's enemy. The last person people want to see.
I didn't want to do it - I would have been killed if I didn't. I think it would have been better if I allowed them to kill me. I would not have all this blood on my hands, I would not have these thoughts in my head. I think it would have been better - but he wouldn't. He'd have wanted me to continue fighting. He'd tell me not to be weak, to ignore them because they don't know.
But I can't. It's all too much. I can still hear them screaming, feel them in my arms as they die... I don't think I can ever-"
Then he stops and closes his eyes, his breathing heavy.
"I don't think I can ever... Be normal. Not after going through all of... that."
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As soon as Wilhelm finished, Caroline stepped forward, tears in her eyes, and without thinking, hugged him. It was tight, but not too tight - just the right amount of reassurance, empathy, and a distinct sensation that she actually cared. And she did. A lot.
"That sounds awful," she whispered.
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September 27th, 2023, 12:48 PM
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steal my heart, its yours
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Join Date: Sep 2021
Status: Without You by Citizen Soldier
Gender: Female(she/her)
Bump Policy: 72 hours
Posts: 6,516
My Mood:
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Re: Coming Home
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookysock
As soon as Wilhelm finished, Caroline stepped forward, tears in her eyes, and without thinking, hugged him. It was tight, but not too tight - just the right amount of reassurance, empathy, and a distinct sensation that she actually cared. And she did. A lot.
"That sounds awful," she whispered.
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Confusion flickers in his eyes before he allows himself to wrap his arms around her. Hugging was never something he was used to while growing up. "Oh Gott, warum ich?" He whispers in German, laying his head on top of her head.
"Ja, it is... Sometimes something make me feel as it I am still there..."
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September 27th, 2023, 12:51 PM
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don't eat me
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Join Date: Jul 2022
Status: breaching the contract
Gender: dumpster puppet
Bump Policy: If I've failed to respond in a timely manner, please know that I'm trying very hard to be a person
Posts: 17,573
My Mood:
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Re: Coming Home
Quote:
Originally Posted by soldier
Confusion flickers in his eyes before he allows himself to wrap his arms around her. Hugging was never something he was used to while growing up. "Oh Gott, warum ich?" He whispers in German, laying his head on top of her head.
"Ja, it is... Sometimes something make me feel as it I am still there..."
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She nods. "I hope it gets better for you... I've never had an experience like that..." Caroline gently pulls herself out of the hug, lifting her glasses to wipe her eyes. "Oh, God, sorry, I'm crying on you-"
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