She didn't look. She didn't even look. Sleepypaw could've stared at her mother all she wanted, the only place the new apprentice could see her mama's eyes go was them - her prized thirteen, her prized kits. So then why did her eyes seem so dull and broken? She didn't know, she couldn't tell. Did it have to do with Heronpaw's name change, Mirepaw's climbing up the ledge, Birdpaw's excitement for whatever reason? Did it matter? It did. But, against better judgement, all Sleepypaw knew is that mama did not even look her way when all she wanted was... Her. Reason eluded the youngling; some - perhaps even most - would say she should have spoken up instead of only staring her mama's way, waiting for her eyes to meet her blue ones. Others might say that perhaps her mama was waiting until the end of the meeting, too, much like she was. But that was hardly satisfactory. The white-flecked she-cat cheered with whatever lack of joy she could muster and listened with only half an ear as her mind wandered elsewhere, to the one feline whose attention she wished for beside Miss Grandmama's. Her mama. Her mama, with a spark of hope in Sleepypaw's chest, approached and came closer... To join her, and the thirteen. To address her, and the thirteen. To look at her, and the thirteen. With an expression that Sleepypaw never once had seen before. With a smile that felt so distant and a tone so cold, it chilled her to the bones. Call it hyperbolic, but for the ever few times her mama was with her and only her, she had only ever exuded warmth. For the few times Sleepypaw wasn't ignored or replaced by the very feline that stood before her, her mama would greet her with love. But now, that same warmth and love seemed all but gone. Those same words Sleepypaw repeated in her head as a mantra to chase away nightmares were drowned out by the immense distance she felt within this moment and the only thought present in her mind was that she had been fully replaced. That she meant nothing anymore to her mama. She was only a lacking part of the many kits she had had, to be congratulated in a group and looked upon as no more than just another one of her children. And that tore her apart.
"Yes, mama."
She spoke. Her tone level, her face near expressionless, but her voice hollow. If mama no longer cared, then that was all she could do. The least she could do. Make her clan proud. Make Miss Grandmama prouder. Do not let anyone down. Her mind flickered to the thought, why would mama address her prized thirteen with such a reserved presence? It didn't make much sense to the 'paw, but reason was not at the forefront of her mind at this moment. Only her mama, and her words. Her instructions. Her orders. "..Miss Grandmama said she would show me the territory."
A dull statement, though her eyes only focused on her mama's, searching them for something. Anything. "I shouldn't make Miss Grandmama wait."
She lingered. She wanted to hug her mama. Nuzzle into her side, be held close by her again, just as she once was moons ago. When... Even was the last time she lay resting with her mama? A spike through her chest, the memory felt vague, it was long ago. "Until later", "I love you".
Those were the words lingering on her tongue. Those were the words she wanted to say and hoped her mother would say back. Those were the words she hadn't heard in so long. Those were the words she daren't speak in the face of the thirteen. Besides, if mama had all but replaced her, Sleepypaw did not want to burden her mama further with useless words that she might not even care for. "...Take care."
Those were the words that fell from her mouth after a lengthy silence, those were the words she parted from the ground with. A last sidelong glance at her mama felt more like a farewell than a 'see you later'. How she wished it was a 'see you later'. But, mama had been replacing her since the thirteen were born; perhaps her mistake was not bidding farewell earlier. Perhaps her mistake was not wanting to bid farewell at all.
More of her kits arrived by the moment, and Lostspark's heart lightened when he spotted each one of them. Her heart squeezed slightly with the loss of Smokekit, Magpiekit, and Gloomkit, wherever they were. She hoped they were, at the very least, happy. Aside from these three, the only kit who hadn't shown up from her litter of thirteen was... Rainykit. Lostspark would try to seek the kitten out later, because getting one's name not at the same time as one's littermates... might be disheartening.
Behind all the kits called to get their names, Yellowpaw and Palepaw's presence too was requested, and Lostspark drifted her gaze to the pair. Finally, two warriors. A smile pulled the corners of her mouth upward as she watched her kits line up. Apprentices. They were going to be apprentices, Lostspark could barely believe it. But believe it she'd have to, because as tiny as they'd once been, they were now moving on to a new part in life.
Amber gaze skipping down the line of to-be apprentices again, it snagged on... Howlingkit. There was no definite reason, but the Medicine Cat suddenly felt uneasy when her daughter whipped around, aimed a tense, mocking smile right at her, and waved. Which was odd, because to this day, Howlingkit had never smiled at her. The truth behind that statement was slightly depressing, but... it was true.
Regardless, it was safe to say she was sufficiently distracted when Mirekit began scrambling up the Shadowledge to reach Dawnstar. Lostspark could have sworn she barely breathed until the black and grey kit had finally acquired a solid footing.
'Mama! Look!'
Cracking a wobbly smile at her daughter and lifting a slightly trembling paw, Lostspark waved, finding herself unable to open her mouth after that terrifying display. Kits. Returning her attention to Dawnstar as her mother started doling out apprentice names, Lostspark found herself perking up, warmth unfurling in her chest as if it were her apprentice ceremony. But this was close - no, it was better. Her kits were being named.
Bursting at the seams with barely restrained happiness, the Medicine Cat beamed at her kits as they each stepped forward, receiving their names. Sleepypaw, Birdpaw, Moonpaw, Cinderpaw, Rainpaw, Quietpaw, Wispypaw, Quillpaw, Sootpaw, Mirepaw . . . wait, one was missing.
Glancing quizzically up at her mother, Lostspark's brow furrowed with bewilderment as Howlingkit's new name wasn't up there with the rest of her littermates. Lostspark wasn't going to stay silent about that, that was her daughter and she deserved her na- 'Howlingkit, as you requested a name change, from this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you'll be known as Heronpaw.'
Lips parted with surprise, Lostspark sat there for a moment in silence, frozen, uncertain if she was merely hearing things or... or...
A sinking feeling started in her chest as Dawnstar's words crystalized in her mind, slowly, hauntingly, starting to make sense. Howlingkit... Heronpaw had asked for the name change. Her Sundew had gone out of her way to request her name be changed to something that she thought would hurt Lostspark. And the glance filled with contempt Heronpaw shot her a moment later only solidified the extent of her daughter's hatred.
Lostspark's happy smile faltered, lips no longer pulled upward into a proud grin, instead turned slightly down as she struggled not to allow the tears stinging at the corners of her eyes to spill free. She didn't mean to feel sad. Not over a simple name change, even if that name change signified that Heronpaw would rather be named after Darkfall's ex, someone not her mother. Because that was what this was. Another way for Howling- Heronpaw to remind her that she meant nothing.
Her heart just continued sinking as Heronpaw turned, expression turning warm once more as she spoke with her sister. It was an out of body experience, to know that there was nothing one could do to right a wrong that'd been committed, because to this day Lostspark didn't know why she was so hated. Pushed aside. Unwanted.
But if that was what Heronpaw wanted, then Lostspark would respect her wishes. The Medicine Cat was done trying to bridge the gap between them. She'd pleaded with her daughter so many times, and not once had Lostspark received the same courtesy, the same respect, back. If what Heronpaw yearned for was indifference, then that was what her daughter would receive. No more would the Medicine Cat go out of her way to earn her daughter's affections. Lostspark would treat her like any other Clanmate, because that was what Heronpaw had shown her she wanted.
And if anyone was a fool for wearing their heart on their sleeve, it was Lostspark herself. She'd done this, by making herself so vulnerable to her children. She would not make that mistake again.
So Lostspark waited, a pleasant, emotion-lacking smile on her face. And once the meeting was over, she strode over to the row of apprentices. Hers, once, but not anymore. Because that was what a mother did, wasn't it? She let her children go.
"Sleepypaw, Birdpaw, Moonpaw, Cinderpaw, Rainpaw, Quietpaw, Wispypaw, Quillpaw, Sootpaw, Mirepaw," amber hues flicked to the last cat she had to name. "Heronpaw." Lostspark inclined her head before glancing away again, seemingly disinterested. "Congratulations on your apprenticeship. It's good to have so many new apprentices in ShadowClan. I wish you all the best, and if any of you need anything, you know full well where to find me. Make your mentors proud, and your leader prouder." Pausing a moment, she nodded to Twistedpaw, Brownpaw, and Lionpaw as well. "You too, congratulations." With those words, the Medicine Cat turned on her heels and left.
If her kits would only recognize a mother they'd built in their fantasies, one who didn't care about them, then who was Lostspark to fight it?
As Heronpaw roughly caught her sister’s mew, she fails to stop the blue shecat as Heron lets out a yelp. Crashing to the ground, as if it was second nature for the apprentice. She raises her free paw, a honed skill throughout the moons. Anger rushes through her veins, moons and moons of resentment built up to this moment. Heronpaw smacks her sister off of her harshly, taking care to do it swiftly and without her claws. “Don’t touch me!” Hackles raised as she hisses lowly towards the younger sibling. The Heir feels no remorse, Birdpaw had no right to touch her! No right to get near her.
No sense of attachments towards Birdpaw, Heronpaw had felt nothing but hate and anger to her. She had seen over moons the relationship between Birdpaw and Mossfreckle. Was it envy? Absolutely. Envy over Birdpaw’s loving life. That life had never been given to her, even if it had..Heronpaw had burned it away long ago. Her mental walls closer and closer to sealing the gate. Sunny. Sunny was reason she was keeping it open. Heronpaw’s attention is turned else where. Blue and yellow eyes pointed towards her “mother”. The Heir tries, she really does try to feel anything but anger in this moment. Only for any point of joy to be burned to ash.
She can’t hurt anyone, Heronpaw couldn’t risk her apprentice title right after getting it. She has to hold herself back from full on screaming. The words ready to go flying towards her bloodline, they had done nothing but left her. She had done nothing but hurt Heronpaw. The Shecat had blinded her, abandoned her, and sided with the tom that lied to her. Heronpaw feels the heat start to burn the back of her throat, tears trying to form in her eyes.
In a blink of an eye it all fades away. The raging fire drenched in water in a heartbeat. That disinterested look, the dismissive tone. Only her name, her new name. Heronpaw can feel it crumble around her grey pelt. Each walls support cracking, the cooled lava chipping away from it as she can only stare. She feels ill, like a sickness has dragged her into the depths of the nearest lake.
Frozen water. It cools and drowns the fire within, the ice above her body freezing over. No escape from the darkness.The Heir feels like she is drowning, she tries to not gasp for the little air she had in the current moment but it’s no use. Her grandmother had dismissed the meeting. She could run. Run right now and make it out alive. Alas, little energy remained in her body as she starts to hyperventilate. Tears taking over completely. She can’t breathe. She can’t breathe. No medical emergency would save her now. She needed to get out, yellow and blue eyes breaking from her “mother’s” amber ones.
Before she knew it, the fire was screaming for help. She was screaming for help but no sound escaped her mouth but the muffled gasps for air. Paws dragging her away, away from Lostspark and Sunny. It was too dangerous now. She needed out of the camp. She needed to get away! Invisible fire coated her paws, face and the clearing. He had done this. He had done all of this. That starless cat had caused all this! She wanted answered, now. Little did she know, the moment she stepped out of the camp. She would get them soon enough. Heronpaw fades into the woods, return was uncertain.
[ @Rose , @Mica , @taillow [Only if you wanted Mire to follow?] ]
Birdpaw
ShadowClan
she/her | 6 moons | 2/100
[Blue-grey tabby with dark blue overcoat, white underside and amber eyes] Purrks: Lyrebird's Lullaby [PERMANENTLY ACTIVE]
· · ────────────── · ·
[Darkfall - @Dark ] [Mossfreckle - @Fawn<3 ] [Mirepaw - @taillow ] [Sleepypaw - @Estelle ]
· · ────────────── · ·
Birdpaw was finally getting what she wanted. She didn't know it was what she wanted, but her heart swelled with joy as Mirepaw approached and got in on the hug, chatting with Birdpaw like they had been best friends all their kithood. She was even offered.... A nest space. Birdpaw beamed at Mirepaw, something lodged in her throat. What was that? Did she swallow a bug? She didn't remember eating one... but the spell upon her was broken by a hissed "don't touch me!" As rough paws shoved Birdpaw to the ground. The apprenticce hit the dusty earth with a grunt, shoulder smarting from the impact. She blinked, a little disoriented, only looking up to find Heronpaw stalking away. Birdpaw pushed herself to her paws, looking quizzically at Mirepaw. She had seen Mirepaw do that... why couldn't she? She thought....
She thought maybe she could be loved by her siblings too.
But that hardly mattered. Birdpaw shook herself and allowed the now-familiar haze of excitement wash over her, popping back into the bright, bubbly cat she was. She waved bye to Mirepaw, taking the excuse of everyone calling their names to skitter off into the crowd. She could hear Papa calling the loudest, and Birdpaw pushed through the cats until she reached her father.
"Papa!" She chirped, voice still matching the young medicine cat apprentice's. "Papa papa, I'm an apprentice now!" She leaned heavily into his side, purring a congested purr. Papa hadn't paid much attention to her during her young life, but maybe that could change now. She looked up at her father with pelading eyes. "Will you take me hunting?" As she waited for a response, movement caught the corner of her eye. Muma. Muma was looking at her siblings, but she exuded no joy, no warmth. That... didn't seem right. Was Birdpaw looking at the wrong cat? Muma was always so kind to her. Even if she was busy, if Birdpaw had sought her out and expressed interest in spending time together, the medicine cat always obliged. So why was she leaving?
Birdpaw licked her father's cheek in goodbye. "GottagoseeMumaloveyouPapa!" She crowed, and skittered off to Lostspark.
"MUMA!" Birdpaw cried, Lostspark disappearing into the med den. Birdpaw heard Dawnstar's voice booming over the crowd, and knew that even if she really really wanted to go see her Muma, she had to sit and listen. Birdpaw didn't feel too good as she forced herself to sit amongst the crowd, around unfamiliar cats with unfamiliar voices that she could not copy. This was... not a feeling she was used to. Birdpaw didn't understand sorrow. Didn't understand pain. Things hurt, and feelings bruised, but it was never this bad. Her chest ached horribly, and it took everything in her power not to cough. She could hardly call out in celebration of Palesong and Yellowtwist, her lungs siezing and fluid building and building until she gagged, unleashing a torrent of coughs that punched the breath from her and just.
Kept.
Punching.
The coughing eventually subsided, luckily just as the voices of her clanmates died down. Birdpaw had very little concept of social norms, but she had seen cats get yelled at by Dawnstar for interrupting, and why, she didn't want to be that cat!
Birdpaw pushed everything side, straightening up and wheezing a little as Dawnstar finished the meeting. She hardly heard anything--frankly it all sounded like a buncha warrior nonsense that Birdpaw didn't have to worry about. Right now, the blue feline had one goal in mind. She had seen her siblings, seen Papa, missed Muma... there was one more cat she had to see. Now that the meeting was over, Birdpaw could be as loud as she wanted.
The young apprentice whirled on her target, negativity burning away in the light of the sun that was her best friend in the entire world. The cat that wouldn't leave her. Wouldn't scowl at her. Wouldn't push her. Birdpaw broke from the crowd, accidentally bumping a cat on her way. She twisted to look at Sleepypaw, eyes sparkling with energy. "Oosorry! Congras!" She hurriedly spilled out, and rushed away.
At the speed of sound, Birdpaw rocketed into Mossfreckle's side, purrs sounding like a monster on the Thunderpath. "Freckle!!!" Birdpaw cheered into his fur, nuzzling him happily. "I'm an apprentice! I gots a mentor, an' I can go into the territory, and I can finally go on patrols!" She beamed up at Mossfreckle. "Are you proud of me??"
Shadow Fiend: Inactive | Beefed Up (T3) | Ultimate Predator: Inactive | Hulk SMASH! [Inactive]
___________
A smile grew on his face at his son’s words. ”I’m going to be big like you!” He said. Something about those words made him feel stupid inside. Having been a very emotionally unavailable mess for the last couple of moons, this brief change of pace was honestly a huge relief. He hadn’t had a cat that looked up to him in this way before, maybe Rufflepaw or his former apprentice, Moonpaw. It was nice. He wanted to address the outlandish claim that he’d be on the Shadowledge at some point (seriously? Moonkit you’ll have a lot of growing up to do) but then he… what was he doing? Some kind of dying bug impression? Before he could scold the young tom, Dawnstar began talking once more. Reluctantly dragging his attention from his problematic son, the blue-eyed tom listened to the ceremony taking place.
Darkfall was SO proud. Words were unable to describe the warm feeling that swelled within him. His kids were becoming apprentices. They would be beginning their journey to become powerful warriors and it made him feel giddy and bubbly. Sootpaw, his eldest son was finally starting alongside his younger siblings. This was such a good da– Wait a minute. Heronpaw? Flinching, Darkfall’s head popped up immediately at the mention of Howlingkit’s name change. Why had she requested that one…? The father of 21 was reminded of the brief fling he held in the Green-leaf of the previous year. That she-cat had become the mother of his first litter, Fallenkit, Sootpaw, Larkpaw, and Moon err– Wolfkit. He hadn’t been expecting one of his kids with Larkfire to decide to pick up the name. It was… odd. It gave him a bit of a prickly feeling down his spine, but he was proud of his third daughter nonetheless.
”SOOTPAW, SLEEPYPAW, HERONPAW, MIREPAW, BIRDPAW, WISPYPAW, QUIETPAW, MOONPAW, RAINPAW, QUILLPAW, CINDERPAW!” The huge tom cheered, making sure his voice would be heard above the rest. He wasn’t always there for the kits, it was a consequence of his duties and constant emotional turmoil, however, he had to let them know that he was there for them today. He was excited to see them begin the next chapter of his life. Thinking to himself, he wondered if this indescribable feeling of excitement and wonder was what his mother had felt when he became an apprentice all those moons ago. He wondered if she would’ve felt this way if she had been there when he received his warrior name, or when he was named an enforcer. It was a thought that made him smile a little, despite the absence of the cat who had left him in the world so many moons ago.
Hearing the names of their mentors, however, Darkfall couldn’t help but frown slightly. Some of them received mentors he was sure would do an excellent job of guiding his kits, as expected of his leader. However, some of them received mentors that he believed would be questionable… He wouldn’t name any names, but he had a feeling that he may have to teach them some things himself. Not that he minded, of course. Now that they were apprentices, he’d be able to take them out for patrols, or teach them stuff like hunting and battle moves and say that it was part of his job. It was a relief that he’d hopefully have the opportunity to make and spend more time with his family – something that he was horribly behind on.
It was then that he noticed Heronpaw looking at him with a look of… contempt? What had he done to garner receiving such a look? Was she mad at him? It was understandable of course, he wasn’t the best father in the forest, but he was trying. He thought that the two of them were working things out and becoming closer to one another… It seems as though he was wrong. She… hated him. Darkfall felt a small tug within his heart but he ignored it. It was fine… he would have to talk to her about that later. The excitement that belonged to Mirepaw at the prospect of training with her older sister made him decide to wait. He wasn’t quite sure how things would work out with the two of them under the same mentor, however, he was sure Starlingstreak would figure things out.
Despite Heronpaw’s obvious anger towards him, Cinderkit looked at him seemingly with pride in her eyes. She was going to do great, he just knew it. It was unfortunate, what happened to her leg, but if there was anyone who was strong enough to figure things out, it was definitely her. Being the daughter of two of some of the strongest cats in the clan aside, she was tough mentally, something that he found surprising for a kit of her age. She could do this. He just knew it.
Speaking of cats looking at him, Quietpaw seemed to pick him out from amongst the crowd. Wait… was that…? It was! Quietpaw smiled at him! Unable to help himself, he beamed right back at her. He had honestly never seen the young cat smile, so this moment was all the more important to him. Unfortunately, Quietpaw was one of the kits that ended up neglected lately (though to be fair, that included all of the kits). He was definitely going to have to get his act together and make some time for her and Rainpaw sometime soon. After all, she didn’t deserve to be ignored simply because she was one of the less problematic of his offspring.
Out of the corner of his eye, the massive tom noticed that Rainpaw was off meeting her mentor, which was good. Quillpaw seemed to be meeting Mistlewhisker which was… odd to say the least. Honestly, he’d been spending a lot of time with Mistlewhisker the last moon and a half, but seeing her this soft and vulnerable was… weird. Very very very very very weird. He wanted professional and cold Mistlewhisker back! AGH, dammit Quillpaw, you’ve made the she-cat look normal.
A short interruption from Forestkit seemed to set Dawnstar on edge. Big mistake. Coming to your ceremony late, and interrupting an ongoing warrior ceremony was just asking for trouble. He couldn’t even imagine doing something like that, especially considering that it was a big moment. Dawnstar herself didn’t appear to be too enthused by the development and made that very clear. Though the Queen of Mean seemed to have developed a soft spot in recent memory, it was very clear that at her core, she was still the same no-nonsense, serious cat that he had grown up knowing.
That aside though, there were no further distractions as two new warriors were added to their ranks. ”Yellowtwist! Palesong!” he cheered with the rest of the clan. He hadn’t really dipped his paws in either of their training, nor had he interacted with them too much outside of standard enforcer duties, however, he knew that they would be welcome additions to the ranks of warriors. Palesong he noted showed some promise. Perhaps he’d be able to get a feel for Yellowtwist in the coming days as well.
The next order of business was one that Darkfall was not at all pleased to hear. Not only was his revenge on ThunderClan being completely dissolved, but they were also[ giving Sunkissed Creek back? Seriously? Like honestly and truthfully!? What. The. Hell. He worked his ass off during BOTh battles. Cats DIED to take that piece of land from them and now they were just giving it back? For what? Because some of his clanmates couldn’t get their crap together and now the rest of them were stuck cleaning up after their asses, paying the price for their inaction? Badger-dung. That’s what all of this was. A big, fat, heaping pile of badger-dung. It was aggravating. So unbelievably irritating that he was unable to keep his fur from bristling, as his eyes narrowed and his tail lashed angrily behind him. Dammit. This was not a ShadowClan he was used to. When had they become so helpless that they had to back down from ThunderClan of all cats?
The sound of Mossfreckle’s voice approaching him saying… Papa? Interrupted his thoughts enough to cause his anger to momentarily falter. What the he– oh. It was Birdpaw. He had been vaguely aware of her ability to copy the voices of others, however, actually hearing it directed towards him was… unnerving as hell. ”Yes, my little Bird, you are~” He purred happily, irritation momentarily forgotten as his fur lay flat. ”I will definitely take you– oh.” As soon as he got the response out, she was already gone, heading off to her mother. His former mate. He had to admit it, it stung. Like a lot. He was well aware that only a select few of his kits preferred his company, or even liked him, however, being left for her just as she had left him for whatever hurt. He felt like someone grabbed his heart and twisted it into knots, but he put on a smile anyways. He had almost lost himself for a moment – he had to be strong for the kids.
Azure eyes followed along to where Birdpaw was headed and managed to catch the look that Larkfire gave their kits. What in the hell was up with that attitude? Rising to his full height, he began to head over there, but Birdpaw’s coughing fit distracted him momentarily. ”Birdpaw are you alri–” he didn’t even get to finish the sentence because next Heronpaw was running out of camp. ”Fox-dung. Not again!” He hissed under his breath, flashbacks of losing both Fallenkit and Wolfkit flashed into his mind immediately. He could not afford to let her get too far. ”Birdpaw, go to your mother, I’ll be right back!” The massive tabby called, running out of camp after his daughter. The look on her face when Larkfire had been talking to them had not been good, and neither had Sleepypaw's, however, right not he had a different priority. He would talk to Larkfire's daughter later. Dammit!! He had to go get her. He had to go stop Heronpaw from getting into trouble out there. He was not letting her go, her opinion of him be damned.
Forestkit whimpered. Dawnstar didn't promote him to apprentice. He was really upset and ran off to the nursery, crying. He didn't want anyone to see him. He was an embarrassment to his clan.
__________________
Male (He/Him only plz)
~~~~
I'm active most week days from 8:00am-3pm EST, and sporadically on weekends and holidays, but often significantly less than I am during school days. Won't be online afterschool most days and def not Wednesdays cuz karateee.
~~~~ Please DO NOT use LIGHT or GREEN/BLUE colors when RPing with me. I cannot see them
~~~~
| Cougarbite | Cloudheart | Forestpaw | Fiercefire! |
~~~~
Brownpaw joined in on the cheering for Yellowtwist and Palesong, Shadowclan's two very newest warriors. Palesong was quite the pretty name... she hoped the warrior liked it!
Once the commotion had begun to die down, Brownpaw shuffled over to where her mentor was sitting, wanting to make sure to greet him before the meeting was over. "Hello," she mewed, voice sounding a bit like a purr. Brownpaw couldn't help it, she was happy! "I hope you enjoy training me! I'm going to work hard, I promise."
Hawkbite was approached by Brownpaw and his gaze softened a little. The Commander always hid his softer side from the clan as a whole, but he was just a large kitten at heart. He hadn't had a decent apprentice since Starrywisp, so he was hopeful this one would be different.
"I'll do my best to be a good mentor to you," Hawkbite promised quietly. He'd lean down and press his nose to her forehead as a formal greeting.
Now, the next set of news to catch his attention was about Sunkissed Creek. Give it back? What. Did Dawnstar really think that was such a good idea?! What would it look like to ThunderClan to do such a thing? "Just because the clan in acting a fool, doesn't mean we need to display it to the other clans," He'd growl, half to himself. The fur along his shoulders bristled as she dismissed the clan. Clearly, she didn't want to entertain their opinions about this and no one else was speaking up on it.
A disapproving glare would follow the leader as she padded away from the clan.
Cinderpaw
~<>~
4/100
6 moons || she/her || ShadowClan Apprentice small black tabby with minimal white markings and 3 legs; amber eyes
The first to come and congratulate the litter of 13 becoming apprentices was their mother. Quickly, Cinderpaw dipped her head to her mentor, gesturing that she was going to see her mother. She'd find Cornpuff again when she was ready to start training, for now, though, she wanted to tell her mother how proud she was of herself for this new step in her life - she hadn't been expecting it to happen and she wondered if perhaps neither had her mother. Somewhere else in the crowd, papa was yelling the loudest for all the new apprentices, and Cinderpaw glanced back over to him, eyes shining and pride swelling in her chest. He was happy for her. That's all it really took to get the tabby who looked so much like her father to her feet again, using this joy as fuel to power her movements.
Half limping, half hobbling to rejoin her siblings, Cinderpaw smiled when Lostspark addressed them all, but there was something strangely off about her demeanor. Was she sad? Why would she be sad? Slowly, her grin falls to an open mouthed frown, brows knit together in worry as amber eyes glance at all her other siblings, wondering if they are also picking up on the distance their mother seems to be putting between them all.
Howling- ...Heronpaw (that name would need some getting used to. Cinderpaw had no idea why her older sister had wanted a new name, she always thought the name sorta fit the older sister who was always howling about something or other) was the first to leave, her multicolored eyes full of nothing but contempt. Where did that come from? Cinder had never really had a good conversation with her sister, she doesn't know what happens in her head and the idea of finding out kind of scares her, but why did she look so angry? Did something happen between her, momma and papa? When would something like that have happened? In the last moon when Cinder had been in the medicine den? Could so much have happened that quickly?
Her other older sister, Sleepypaw, a cat Cinderpaw also had very limited interactions with, also adopted a more formal tone with their mother. What was going on? Had something really happened? Why had no one told Cinderpaw about it? Were they all just trying to spare their poor, pathetic injured little sister more pain? If that's true, they shouldn't have done so. Why would they have done that? Cinder's not as fragile as she may seem right now - she can handle hearing the awful stuff. She'd handled the disappearance of her leg well enough, through the tears and the panic she imagines most cats would have if they woke up suddenly missing a large portion of themselves.
The only one who's acting normal is Birdpaw, always energetic and full of joy, bouncing around from cat to cat, congratulating everyone and showing off her new rank with pride. With a twinge of jealousy, Cinderpaw realized that her sister hadn't even looked in her direction. Was it fair to feel jealous? No, probably not, but it somehow seemed Birdpaw was looking in every direction but Cinderpaw's. Was she ashamed? Did she think her sister didn't deserve to be apprenticed this meeting because of her injury? Did she think her irresponsible for getting herself so irreparably injured before even becoming the second lowest rank in the clan?
'Stop that, Cinderpaw,' she scolds herself internally. That wasn't fair to Birdpaw, she shouldn't put words into her sister's thoughts she had never asked about, but... Cinderpaw had always felt like something of an outsider in her own family. Everyone else was always playing with each other, they were all friends, but Cinderpaw? She'd kept to herself. Her only friend was Wispypaw, and even they didn't talk as often anymore. She had practically no one. That wasn't fair. Why did she have to be the odd one out? Especially when she wanted to belong so badly. She wanted to be part of this family, part of the legacy they would leave. She wanted it more than anything. She just wasn't sure how to start. Wasn't sure where her place among them all was. Could she find it now? After so long was she even allowed to find her way within them?
She nods in acceptance of her mothers words, letting the somewhat stilted congrats wash over her. It was all she was going to get, after all, why not take it for all it was? She wants to say 'thank you' to her mother, but the words don't even make it to her throat before they bubble out.
Mistlewhisker
ShadowClan Enforcer
she/her | 39 moons
[Large black cat with a half white muzzle and a pale green eye (left gouged out)] Purrks: Beefed Up T3, Shadow Fiend
· · ────────────── · ·
[Palesong mention - @starry ] [Quillpaw - @furrensic ] [Darkfall - @Dark ] [Hawkbite - @SuspiciousMindz ]
· · ────────────── · ·
As the meeting continued, and Palesong and Yellowtwist recieved their warrior names, Mistlewhisker found it difficult to fully celebrate. She felt as though something was brewing, something that would cause an uproar. She cheered their names, proud of their achievements--especially Palesong. Mistlewhisker had high hopes for her. The Ark kits were causing chaos as usual, and Mistlewhisker could vaguely see Lostspark and Darkfall, the former looking cold and the other looking hurt. Well, that just about summed up their whole Thing, didn't it?
Mistlewhisker was looking forward to the meeting end, wanting to perhaps take Quillpaw out on a territory tour while it was still light out, but the next announcement had the Enforcer jerking her head to stare incredulously at Dawnstar.
The raid... was called off. They were giving back Sunkissed Creek.
No. Absolutely not.
The usually even-tempered Enforcer growled softly, disgust and fury boiling under her skin. All the hard work the Enforcers had put into getting the patrols out, hunting down moron cats who couldn't do a simple job right, Lynxshade's entire training event... it was all for nothing. Mistlewhisker sought out her fellow Enforcers, spotting Darkfall and Hawkbite giving Dawnstar similar looks. Mistlewhisker was hesitant to be angry at Dawnstar--she knew best, after all--but she could understand why they were frustrated with her decision. Mistlewhisker was shoving down the anger she felt towards the leader even as the meeting ended. The moment cats began to disperse she pushed herself to her paws. "Training will begin tomorrow." She meowed curtly to Quillpaw, not bothering to soften her voice for the apprentice. She was fooling herself by ever being vulnerable around the kid, anyway.
Mistlewhisker strode towards Darkfall, but the tom had already shot to his paws and began chasing Heronpaw out of camp. Oh for star's sake--Mistlewhisker huffed and swiveled her head to find Hawkbite. The Enforcer met his gaze, her own eye blazing with fury. The rest of her remained calm and still, but it was clear to her Commander that she was beyond furious. "I assume you did not know about this." She said lowly, remaining quiet so she didn't cause a scene. "Calling off the raid, I understand. But Sunkissed Creek? Bumblestar will take that as a sign of weakness."
Why did he react so casually at first? Maybe he only now was fully listening instead of waiting for the meeting to be over.
The Enforcers were speaking his mind before he spoke his own. He could've been quiet, but Yellowtwist was in complete unison with them in this opinion and he wanted Dawnstar to know they weren't the only ones.
What was giving Sunkissed Creek back supposed to do, let them know that they got bored with it and they were free to use perfectly good territory? Besides that, Squirrelstar deserved nothing but pain.
The raid was one thing, but the creek situation was another. He looked at the leader. "I got to agree with Mistlewhisker and Hawkbite. You're punishing me, and Palep-song, and the enforcers for some some other cats mistakes. If your going to punish the irresponsible ones, why not just make it so they specifically can't go to sunkissed creek?" He meowed. He could just barely tolerate Palesong, but she was correct on her last statement and she did complete her patrols just fine.
__________________
"Tomatoes are in the same family as some of the world's deadliest poisons. That just goes to show how rebellious tomatoes are." "What about how the apple can fall far from the tree?" "No, sometimes the tomato falls from the plant."
Hawkbite was approached by Brownpaw and his gaze softened a little. The Commander always hid his softer side from the clan as a whole, but he was just a large kitten at heart. He hadn't had a decent apprentice since Starrywisp, so he was hopeful this one would be different.
"I'll do my best to be a good mentor to you," Hawkbite promised quietly. He'd lean down and press his nose to her forehead as a formal greeting.
Now, the next set of news to catch his attention was about Sunkissed Creek. Give it back? What. Did Dawnstar really think that was such a good idea?! What would it look like to ThunderClan to do such a thing? "Just because the clan in acting a fool, doesn't mean we need to display it to the other clans," He'd growl, half to himself. The fur along his shoulders bristled as she dismissed the clan. Clearly, she didn't want to entertain their opinions about this and no one else was speaking up on it.
A disapproving glare would follow the leader as she padded away from the clan.
"Thank you," Brownpaw answered him in an equally soft voice, Hawkbite pressing his nose to her forehead. "I'm sure you'll do a good job."
Maybe it was unusual for an apprentice to reassure their mentor like that, especially one they just met, but Brownpaw wasn't considering those sorts of things. She gave him one last warm smile before shuffling to sit close by him, listening to what Dawnstar was saying. Shadowclan was... giving up part of their territory? And punishments would now be harsher? Brownkit wondered what that entailed, feeling a bit uneasy and noticing her mentor's fur bristling. A lot of the clan seemed unhappy about this...
Oh, Brownpaw hoped nobody would get too hurt or in trouble. She understood why Dawnstar wanted cats to work harder, that's how they were able to get their food and herbs after all. Brownpaw thought for a moment of what she'd do if she was leader- not like the apprentice really wanted to be, it might just be good to put herself in Dawnstar's paws. Really, Brownpaw probably wouldn't be able to punish anyone... she just believed that everyone was a good cat, someone who deserved a second chance. And the thought of blood on her paws might Brownpaw feel very sad.
Gracklepaw listened intently for Dawnstar to call out mentor reassignments. He was itching to actually learn something this time around and become a real ShadowClan apprentice, and not just some bum who leeched off of the Clan and occasionally hunted and went on patrols. He wanted the exprience. He wanted the work!
As Dawnstar went on, Gracklepaw took note of her fowl mood. She seemed to often be unhappy and frustrated with her Clan. Not that he blamed her, he’d noticed that many warriors, including his ex mentor had failed to participate in patrols and then went missing without teaching him a thing! If that alone was frustrating for Gracklepaw he couldn’t imagine what it was like to leave a Clan.
As Dawnstar swiftly ended the meeting Gracklepaw immediately turned to Magpiepaw beside him to discuss the events of the meeting, more specifically his mentor reassignment. “Looks like I got a new mentor!” He meowed to her cheerfully. “I bet Slytiger’s super cool!” The ex-loner rambled excitedly, as he often did around Magpiepaw. “That name alone just sounds so cool! Once we both get trained, we’ll go back out to the territory and this time we’ll hunt tons of rabbits and voles. And this time we’ll do it in one try.” He purred lightheartedly, giving her a playful nudge.
“Well, I’m gonna go look for my new mentor. See ya later Magpiepaw!” He exclaimed as he got up from his spot, practically bouncing up onto his pads. Now it was just up to the apprentice to navigate through the crowd of cats, leaving, and sitting around and discussing the meeting, to find and meet Slytiger.
Re: The Shadowledge
