Here he was, back at the clans new graveyards. He glanced to where he sat by the water…an honorable moment he believed. He simply accepted himself, let his life calm down. He finally had a chance to think, for the first time in moons. He could re-assess everything…the clan, his life, Lavender, his daughter, his new role…perhaps even his new-found emotion…an odd one that he seemed to only have around a specific someone.
Speaking of her…the purple flowers he found her previously popped into his head, and he set out to find them again. Luckily, he somehow spotted the patch. Then looked over to the graves…the previous flowers he set there had decayed. He picked a new few, replenishing those on the gravesites, then taking a clump of 4 small purple flowers, all connected on the same little stem, back to camp.
__________________
my characters opinions are not my own!
_____________________________________ RowanMane is one of RiverClans Lionhearts. DarkPaw is one of ShadowClans Aids. If Either of them are Needed, Mention or VM/PM Me!
Aresis the Crown of the Atari [an official outsider faction]. If He is Needed, PM/VM or Mention Me. Atari Resources || Bone Crest Throne
Honeystep
Kind ❀ Sweet ❀ Patient ❀ She/Her
“Sweetness can be found anywhere, you just need to look hard enough.”
@burntToast @Marigoldwhisper
Poppy...Poppy...Poppy. That was easy, everything is easy. No one is looking over your shoulder for your failures. Maybe. Honeystep was very stuck inside her own mind as they walked out towards the seagrass fields she didn't even think about how this was her first time coming over here. The eerie feel of where the dead were meant to rest didn't sink in to the warrior's mind, which was for the better.
"Alright, let's not go too far from each other...A..Alright?" Honeystep said looking over her shoulder with a panicked look. "I mean... Well... Just stay in eyesight.. Not safe..." Perhaps to a cat not in her brain it would just seem she was scared to see a ghost. Those things could kill if they wanted. Given her mind that was a whirlwind she really couldn't focus so for the first shake of a whisker time, Honeystep wasn't coming up on much.
Groaning out her stress, Honeystep sat down out of the blue before doing some deep breathing practices while reminding herself what she was out her for. Flowers. That was easy! It was a little harder since she was looking for dead one, but it was still easy enough! Believe in yourself.
With a renewed focus, Honeystep was able to get more success than before. It wouldn't be long before she found three dead poppy bulbs and took care to pluck them. Imagine if she accidentally swallowed- She had to mental slap her brain for this. Stop it, bad.
Not finding much more, Honeystep walked to a spot that would be easy to spot her and sat down, waiting for the others to come to her.
Honeystep
Kind ❀ Sweet ❀ Patient ❀ She/Her
“Sweetness can be found anywhere, you just need to look hard enough.”
@burntToast @Marigoldwhisper
Poppy...Poppy...Poppy. That was easy, everything is easy. No one is looking over your shoulder for your failures. Maybe. Honeystep was very stuck inside her own mind as they walked out towards the seagrass fields she didn't even think about how this was her first time coming over here. The eerie feel of where the dead were meant to rest didn't sink in to the warrior's mind, which was for the better.
"Alright, let's not go too far from each other...A..Alright?" Honeystep said looking over her shoulder with a panicked look. "I mean... Well... Just stay in eyesight.. Not safe..." Perhaps to a cat not in her brain it would just seem she was scared to see a ghost. Those things could kill if they wanted. Given her mind that was a whirlwind she really couldn't focus so for the first shake of a whisker time, Honeystep wasn't coming up on much.
Groaning out her stress, Honeystep sat down out of the blue before doing some deep breathing practices while reminding herself what she was out her for. Flowers. That was easy! It was a little harder since she was looking for dead one, but it was still easy enough! Believe in yourself.
With a renewed focus, Honeystep was able to get more success than before. It wouldn't be long before she found three dead poppy bulbs and took care to pluck them. Imagine if she accidentally swallowed- She had to mental slap her brain for this. Stop it, bad.
Not finding much more, Honeystep walked to a spot that would be easy to spot her and sat down, waiting for the others to come to her.
+3 Poppy bulbs
`~Owltalon
She, Her\Deputy\47 moons\Riverclan
"Are you listening, starchild?"
As Owltalon stepped out into Seagrass Fields, the familiar veil of death weighed onto her like a blanket. Verging on suffocating and eerie with solemn peace. Large brown paws padded out into the dancing field, her one good amber eye looking around as fog danced around her, cold, chilling, and stinging the very marrow of her bones. She kept an eye out for Aspenpaw, but she figured he was on the farther end of the group.
Honeystep, however, was here, and notably shakey. Maybe she doesn't like graves? Owltalon thought with a curious wrinkle of her snout, but she paid the warrior no more attention after that. She had herbs to gather, and if the stars proved to be keen on not allowing much success, then she'd have to be as quick as she possibly could be.
She gave Honeystep a nod of agreement before trotting off, the wind nipping at her with every cloud of fog she entered. Stars above, she hated the cold. As she looked to the ground, she spotted dark black seeds next to wilting petals. Owltalon wasn't completely certain, but she was finding herself wondering if the seeds were paler during any other time of year.
Still, she kneeled down and sent a prayer of good harvest to the stars. Who the heck knew if they would answer. Perhaps not even they could grant her herb gathering accuracy. Hm. Unfortunately.
[owltalon rolled a 20 for harvestability!]
[owltalon rolled an 11 for conditions, completely intact!]
[+1 poppy seed]
Oh!
Her prayers had been answered. A welcome surprise, considering she didn't want to absolutely obliterate whatever they had left of the herbs by fumbling so many times. Berryshine would have every right to cup her by the ears at that point.
[owltalon rolled a 20 for harvestability!]
[owltalon rolled a 19 for conditions, completely intact!]
[+1 poppy seed]
[owltalon rolled a 20 for harvestability!]
[owltalon rolled a 19 for conditions, completely intact!]
[+1 poppy seed]
[owltalon rolled a 1 for harvestability!]
[die fumbled!! harvest failed!]
[owltalon rolled a 20 for harvestability!]
[owltalon rolled a 12 for conditions, slightly damaged...]
[+1 poppy seed]
[owltalon rolled a 1 for harvestability!]
[die fumbled!! harvest failed!]
After several trips back and forth, and lots of digging... it was done. Her paws were stained with the dirt and her shoulder ached fiercely. Stormstar padded back now after her last visit to Sleepy Thicket, gaze sweeping over the newly moved graves. She had made sure to smooth the dirt over and clean it up a bit. The wet indent of her paw print was pressed into each of them, though it was drying now in the weak sunlight.
"...All done."
And now it was time to go home and rest. Stormstar let out a breath and turned, limping back to camp.
Aspenpaw had no clue on how to find herbs, was it similar to finding prey? Did he have to scent his surroundings or follow tracks- no that was dumb. plants can't walk. Aspenpaw follow the patrol to seagrass fields, a heavy mist clung to the area like snow soon would. Aspenpaw had only been to the part of the territory once and that had been for funeral and then again he had been distracted and not quite paying attention to his surroundings. Now what exactly were Poppy's and where could he find them? Poppy seeds were black and small and came from flowers! But all the flowers were dead. Was he supposed to be looking for tiny seeds amongst the dirt??
His mind elsewhere, trying to figure out what exactly he should do, aspenpaw didn't notice his paws leading him towards the large body of water until he was nears it's bank. Only then did he stop in his tracks and realise where he was going. He turned back to face his two patrol mates only to see they were already split off in search of the herbs. Herb. Flower. Seeds? Well he wouldn't find anything if he just stood here. Taking a few steps back from the pond, aspenpaw chose to direct his search towards the dead shrubs and leafs that were scattered around seagrass fields.
Was there specific way to find poppy seeds, did they smell a certain way? Did he just have to pray and hope for the best cause that wasn't usually his thing.
Roll: 9odd number, unsuccessful
After going through the pile and finding nothing but regular dirt, leaves and -- bugs. He decided to move on to the next stack of leafs and the next until he could find something to deliver back.
Roll: 4even number, successful amount Roll: 3
Bingo! 3 black seeds which he assumed must be poppy seeds. They were so small? Is this seriously all they came out to collect. Maybe he could find more.
Roll: 5odd number, unsuccessful
Nope nothing. Okay this was good enough. After a moment of struggling to pick up the three seeds he made his way back to the rest of the group.
Seabreeze walked into the field and swiftly began to collect mouthfuls of the soft grass. He brought it back to camp and hid it away before coming back for more, until he was happy with the amount he had.
TW : THIS POST HAS HEAVY TOPICS MENTIONED/DESCRIBED SUCH AS DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SELF-HARM, AND A NEAR ATTEMPT ON HIS LIFE—DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY SUCH! ROWANMANE Posts: 176 | Male | 41 Moons Purrks: None
___________________________________________
As he crept to Seagrass Fields he sat down in the same spot he did when he was finally getting himself together. Now? Every damn thing was a wreck again. He flexed his claws into the dirt as he watched water slightly ripple, moving at every little thing. Pay your respects fool…you already a mess-up…a damned excuse of a cat. He stood, taking a deep shaky breath as he went to the (now withering) little purple flower patch that he went to every once in a while. The warrior picked the and placed them on the graves around. Then the last grave and…he froze. The flower fell from his jaw as he just…stood there…then he glanced to the water, then the grave.
He already cause enough problems…what if he just made it easier for them? All the cats he let down. If he was dead here they wouldn’t have to…y’know…carry his body far. That was if he was worthy of being buried here. Any self-confidence he had withered by now. Becoming a Lionheart has been his grounding…his validation. That’s how he knew he wasn’t a waste of space…cause he was special. Sure, it many ways being a warrior is the damn same but…wouldn’t it make anyone sleep a bit better at night, knowing they stood out for the greater good?
Well…he unfroze, quickly padding to what water and dipped his paws in the bitter-cold, shallow waters. He could just freeze to death…or drown. Cause right now he felt like a worthless waste of space…one less mouth to feed. … He now had both front paws place in the waters and lowered his head, just touching his nose to the cold water. If you wanna die…don’t be a scaredy cat. Especially over some cold water. He took a deep breath…once he believed would be his last, and placed his head under…that lasted a bit. He felt his lungs clawing for air. His chest was burning…everything getting blurry…but then his head jerked up, above the water. He couldn’t prevent it…it just did. “DAMMIT!” tears now pricked his eyes. He just wanted to be gone…gone like he almost made a young warrior. Such a dumb…stupid…pathetic mistake.
He got out the water, crouching and covering his face with his paws. Tears fell…the warmth of life was still there. Why was death so damn DIFFICULT to get claimed by? He just…he desired to rake his claws right through his own through and rip away life as blood spilled around…his blood that he didn’t deserve. The hope to suffer the cold, slow, painful death that no cat would rescue him from…cause he didn’t deserve it. “WORTHLESS…” he snarled to himself and he stood and made a pretty shallow cut on his should. It still stung…that would be nothing compared to what he wanted to go through. Still…little scarlet drops started to form around it. His tail lashed behind him…his jaw hurt like hell…his jaw. He tried moving it around…spasms of pain. Pain which now felt addictive to him.
Still…he was putting off death. Why?…No- no- don’t think. Just do…his paw slowly lifted up to his throat, his claws slowly unsheathed. Just a second away and…it came to him. He was selfish…it was her…she was the cause of his hesitance…the reason he wouldn’t let himself die. Was she always his motivation…or was this recent? His paw…slowly grounded and he crouched down, unable to support his weight standing. Tears slowly started to fall, gradually becoming more. He was always supposed to be selfless, it was his goal. But this…this wasn’t selfless. She…she is all he has left to lose…but she is everything. She is a whole damn lot that he doesn’t deserve. She would never love a cat like him…a messy, disastrous, unworthy failure of a cat like him…but he still hoped. And she still kept him alive. The fact he was so close to leaving her pained him as he sobbed more, until he was eventually curled up in a ball, sobbing on the shoreline. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry Wisty…” he whispered to himself, jagged breaths and hics in between some words. The apology was more of an assurance to himself.
!CLOSED! RESERVED FOR…SOMEONE!!
__________________
my characters opinions are not my own!
_____________________________________ RowanMane is one of RiverClans Lionhearts. DarkPaw is one of ShadowClans Aids. If Either of them are Needed, Mention or VM/PM Me!
Aresis the Crown of the Atari [an official outsider faction]. If He is Needed, PM/VM or Mention Me. Atari Resources || Bone Crest Throne
Last edited by Rowan; December 6th, 2024 at 03:45 PM.
She felt bad. She hadn't been there for him. Not when her best friend had demoted the... okay, the love of her life. It had taken a while for the news to reach her ears - in truth, she'd heard it from Almondchatter, who'd heard it from... who had she heard it from? Wisteriawren wasn't sure, because after the first few words of the news, the former kittypet (shamefully admits that she) had stopped listening. Had tuned out the Queen to instead stare at the camp exit, where she'd last seen Rowanmane leave.
He hadn't returned for a long while, and that fact was making her antsy. Timid pawsteps carried her away from the bengal queen and towards RiverClan camp's exit as the other molly continued to chatter away, entirely oblivious to the fact that her companion had up and left. Truth was, Wisteriawren would rather go look for him than wait around for him to come back - she wanted to seek him out, give him assurance if he needed it. Because if Stormstar was pissed at her enough to demote her, Wisteriawren would... well, she wouldn't be very inclined to show her face in camp for a bit. Which meant tracking her... her... Rowanmane down.
It was a bit of a struggle - safe to say, she probably wasn't the best tracker. Wisteriawren ended up wasting a lot of time doubling back on numerous occassions because she'd lost his scent trail. She finally realized where he was headed only once she was nearly upon him; Seagrass Fields. She hadn't been here before... RiverClan's new burial sight. RiverClan's... Rowanmane. That was when she saw him, and pure shock had her pawsteps faltering, gold-flecked blue eyes blowing wide with terror. Horror and helplessness coursed through her at the sight she was met by - too far from him, yet close enough to see the claws he held against his throat.
'Ro, no!' She wanted to yell the words, to let them tear from her throat, but only a soft croak of terror managed to escape, clawless paws scrabbling against the ground as she lurched into a run upon seeing him crumble to the ground. No, no, no. She doesn't even bother attempt to skid to a stop - Wisteriawren runs right into him. In hindsight, maybe she shouldn't have, but panic fuels every single one of her movements as she scrambles to regain her center of balance and lift her head, gaze riveted on the tom-cat she'd tackled. Oh, sweet flowers. He was alive. He was okay, he was bleeding, he was crying, he was breathing. He was alive.
"Ro." Wisteriawren's doe-eyes are impossibly round as she gazes down at him, chest heaving with each ragged breath. Her gaze flits over him, again and again and again. He was okay. He was whole. Her eyes glisten with the sheen of relieved tears as she ducks her head to lick the wetness streaming down his cheeks. "Rowanmane. Ro, Ro, you're okay."
[ @Rowan - Rowanmane | Teeny tiny bit of powerplay when she tackles him - but I'm assuming you won't mind. If you do, I can definitely edit. ]
RowanMane flinched at the initial impact, his body folding in on itself instinctively as WisteriaWren crashed into him. He had no clue in hell what the force was…was he just going to get ambushed and overall die anyways in these moments? For a moment, his mind was too scrambled to process what had happened. The touch of her tongue against his wet cheeks startled him further, and for a few heartbeats, he froze completely. WisteriaWren… Then her voice—soft, trembling, insistent … it broke through the haze. ‘Ro. Rowanmane. Ro, Ro, you're okay.’
Her words, so simple and full of relief, shattered him in a way no scolding or demotion or harsh reprimand ever could. His chest heaved as he fought for breath, each inhale jagged and painful. He couldn’t meet her gaze. He couldn’t look at her—not with the knowledge that she saw that…the consideration in ending it all, not with the way she sounded so relieved he was still here. How could she be? How could she care? After everything? After all the failure, the mess-ups, the weight he dragged behind him? He clenched his jaw, guilt stabbing through him. But he was…relieved she was here. But…he couldn’t contaminate her…damn her as he was. She was quite literally a sunshine…he couldn’t get too close. He felt he had to keep his distance but…it felt better, being with her.
“I’m…’m okay…” His voice cracked, barely more than a whisper. His claws dug into the dirt beneath him as his head hung low, trembling. Then it spilled. “’m not okay, Wisty. I—I’m…” He couldn’t say it. Couldn’t let the words escape. But they would…”I’m sorry…’m so sorry…’m selfish n’ a wreck n’- I was…s-so…so close to endin’ it all. Wisty- I almost lost ya- n’- n’ everything…” guilt laced through him as he tried to catch his breath.
But she was here. She’d come here to find him. She had seen him like this broken, unworthy mess and yet her touch didn’t falter. Her eyes didn’t hold the disgust he expected, only an unbearable tenderness that made his heart feel like it was shattering all over again. “Ya should’ve stayed in camp…” he rasped, his voice rough and bitter, though it wasn’t directed at her. It was the bitterness he felt toward himself, toward what she’d just witnessed. “Y—you shouldn’ have t’ deal with this. With me. I’m just…” He shook his head violently, choking on his words. “’m no’ worth it, Wisty. ’m no’ worth you.” His tears fell harder, but this time, his head pressed weakly against her shoulder. The fight to push her away, to keep her at arm’s length, drained out of him as quickly as it came. He didn’t have the strength to pretend anymore. Not here. Not with her.
@Rose [don’t mind at all! … fun fact : sometimes I forget Romane has a jaw injury…so I have to do a whole lot of editing to try and fix the speech!]
__________________
my characters opinions are not my own!
_____________________________________ RowanMane is one of RiverClans Lionhearts. DarkPaw is one of ShadowClans Aids. If Either of them are Needed, Mention or VM/PM Me!
Aresis the Crown of the Atari [an official outsider faction]. If He is Needed, PM/VM or Mention Me. Atari Resources || Bone Crest Throne
Last edited by Rowan; December 8th, 2024 at 08:50 PM.
very large, muscular, & scarred light brown tabby tom with stark blue eyes and a torn ear; killer aptitude t3 | just a scratch
[ riverclan warrior | tomcat | 55 moons | gruff & battle-hardened, heart o’ gold; loyal to a fault ]
—
Stagheart bounded in, glancing over his shoulder where hopefully Elksnow and Shallowpaw would be following behind. He took a moment to gaze around the misty lands; the stillness was a bit eerie, granted by leaf-bare's desolation that ravaged even the soft seagrasses of the field. Pausing to sniff the air, Stagheart was grateful to only smell the stale presence of Clanmates and no other intruders. They should be safe to gather, for now.
"Alright, remember — daisy 'n tansy. Might be real hard to find in this weather, so we'll prolly hafta split up a bit to cover more ground. Elksnow, stick a bit closer to Shallowpaw, just to make sure he ain't completely alone. Stay off the graves," he meowed gruffly, echoing Cobwebfern's instructions. He nodded to each cat in turn, ears flicking in acknowledgement. "Stay alert 'n don't go too far. Holler if ya need anythin'."
He didn't usually like to split each cat up, but figured it'd be a little more efficient if they strayed just a bit from each other to look. Still, as long as he could trust Elksnow to keep an eye on the younger 'paw, then he'll count the warrior as reliable in his book. With a final nod of his head, the large tom padded off, in search of the bright flowers amongst the deadened foliage.
[ Rolls: 7, 2, 4 ]
Well, this was just about what he'd expected. With a frustrated grunt, Stagheart poked through some frosted grass and blackened sticks, but couldn't find the brightness of the flower heads. Oh, over there... he did manage to see some shriveled stems of a daisy plant, so that would have to do. Otherwise, this spot had given him nothing good. Carefully plucking the stems to preserve as much of the flower as he could, the warrior padded on, scanning the area for any more signs of life.
Re: Seagrass Fields
Berryshine is RiverClan's medicine cat! 