ShadowClan Life Before Destruction

[fresh]

Originally Posted by king kaleb!

their eyes narrowed at the question, looking away for a moment. depression. they had suffered it for a long time, even when they were a kit. they had always been on the realistic side, finding it hard to be empathetic and more reasonable then to be lead with emotion. they were built on facts, not feelings. and then the nightmares began. they began when they were a small kit, after their father moutianfogs death to be specific, showing graphic images and being left with no cats shoulder for support, not even their own mother. and since being an apprentice and training to be a warrior, they isolated themselves to their training. its what made them happy. and when they were close to getting their warrior name, they were stripped of it and made a medicine cat. they were bitter, but accepted the proposition. after all, who was going to pick up the slack after Kestrelberry? and after distancing themselves form their siblings and mother, they had no one. and it seemed any cat that they drew close to died some how. cricketpaw was slaughtered without a trace. geckoleaf had died in their paws. who was next. who was next. they shouldve died in the flood like they had wanted. they returned their gaze to the molly.

"My adoptive mother, Geckoleaf taught me. She was the old Riverclan medicine cat. She taught me about mental health and how to deal with my own issues." they explained. they could note the issues that geckoleaf had with her own self. she relied on daydream for a lot of things, whether she admitted it or not, but they were okay with that. they had supported eachother. but now she was gone, and daydream was alone. "I suffer it on a daily basis, i dont sleep because everytime i close my eyes i am ridden with nightmares and wake up with bruises as if they were actually real. i dont eat prey because i know there is another cat worthy of the food before myself," they explained, gaze focusing on the herbs on the ground,"I have given death kisses many times yet here i am living, every cat ive ever gotten close to ive either driven away with selfishness or has died in my wake. We all have our own struggles, even if the most respected of the bunch try to act like its all fine and dandy for the sake of not wanting to worry our clanmates." they sighed, blinking slowly. there was a lot of stress that came on them as a medicine cat. every eye was on them, every kit and warrior relied on them. they were the reason cats got to breath another day, and that was a lot to handle. they took in a large breath,letting it exel through their lungs softly, opening their eyes again,"Anyway, the herbs i have given you are burnet, to treat anxiety or distress, and ginger root for the shortness of breath. you chew them into a pulp and swallow them."

The apprentice shoved her thoughts of self-pity away at Daydream's response. Feeling horrible, but knowing they would probably be irritated by another cat feeling bad for them, she closed her jaws and thought for a moment. They were obviously a very tough cat to read, especially when she didn’t know them, but.. was that fear in the air? Geckoleaf sounded so nice, and yet... Geckoleaf was dead. Was that it? Was there someone else in the haunted medicine cat’s life that was special to them who they believed would be taken from them as well? A shiver, like a cold breeze, crept down Flashpaw’s spine. Branchpaw’s laughing face flashed through her mind, and then a flash of him bruised and bloodied on the ground. The female nearly did a double-take, but the- burner, was it?- must’ve been working. The ginger helped stop an impending asthma attack, as well, which was most welcome to the feline, who had been suffering more and more as time went on. She knew she needed to settle down before she became an elder instead of a warrior. Needed something less demanding; something that wouldn’t stress her out and be filled to the brim with self-pity. There was nothing for that, though, was there? Nope, but she should at least find something to help.

Opening her jaws to ask Daydream whether they knew of something that could help her relax more, she stopped. Flashpaw was too proud to be babied. No, she’d lock up the worst pain and float it off to an island, where she’d have to go and live one day. One day soon. That island was filling faster than the she wanted to admit, and for not the first time, Flashpaw was frightened of dealing with it. But the she was a fighter; the fact that she had only attempted suicide once was proof of that. That one time was scary enough, too, and she was still alive. Instead of asking them about a relaxing herb, she decided on a more helpful topic. “Do you know of anything that could help with my... flashbacks? They’re getting worse and happening during the day, now. I can’t even go in the general vacinity of where the... accident happened, or...” The she-cat trailed off, not wanting to say the rest.

[Lyeni]

Originally Posted by ponyapan

@Lyeni

"Safe" The word of the cat made a warmth spread trough the pelt of the small kit. Maybe if she would just close her eyes for a second...
Suddenly, the change of ground made her jump. The kit didn't remember walking in here, she must have been half asleep.
For a moment, she was afraid of the new place she was in, but then felt the smell of the stranger cat, but more of it.

Beetlemist settled the kit amongst the moss lining the nursery floor, hopeful that a good rest and safe place to stay would soon see her back to full strength. "Rest for now sweetie, everythng will be alright."

[ponyapan]

Originally Posted by Lyeni

Beetlemist settled the kit amongst the moss lining the nursery floor, hopeful that a good rest and safe place to stay would soon see her back to full strength. "Rest for now sweetie, everythng will be alright."

The kitten heard the words of the cat, and felt how the sleep crawled closer.
Her legs ached from the walk, and she didn't remember being this tired ever before. Her belly growled for food, but she was too tired.
The last thing she remembered before dozing off was the soft, soft moss.

[Tavvi]

Originally Posted by Boba Fett

Treestep nodded,"Of course Wildstrike. Anything you want. So... What something that's completely different do you want to talk about?" He asked with a tilt of his head, love clear in his voice.

@Liekki

"I don't know. I was figuring one of you would have an idea." Wildstrike deadpanned, taking another mouthful of his rabbit as he tried to settle back into his normal persona, "I mean I'm supposed to the quiet one in this sibling hierarchy so I don't know why you would ask shy little me to come up with a conversation topic, my dear brother." He sarcastically chided, twitching his whiskers ever so softly.

@Liekki

[Seraphon]

Originally Posted by Opal

"I don't know. I was figuring one of you would have an idea." Wildstrike deadpanned, taking another mouthful of his rabbit as he tried to settle back into his normal persona, "I mean I'm supposed to the quiet one in this sibling hierarchy so I don't know why you would ask shy little me to come up with a conversation topic, my dear brother." He sarcastically chided, twitching his whiskers ever so softly.

@Liekki

"Well, I guess that's true," he twitched his whiskers in amusement,"I mean... I guess we could talk about the Clan stuff. Such as tensions and how well the leaders are doing?" He suggested, tilted his head and flicking his left ear.

( @Liekki )

[fresh]

Originally Posted by Charmer

Vixenpaw cocked her head, "Trip?" does that mean they are off clan land?" she asked. What exactly had Flashpaw remembered and why was she saying so little about it? Was it really just the memories and how painful they felt. The apprentice gave an aggravated swipe of her tail. This was probably about as far as they'd be able to go unless Flashpaw decided to proceed. Threats, taunts and stubbornly refusing to leave wouldn't do her any good if Flashpaw was the one with the memories. "Fine then. Whatever," she huffed, turning toward camp.

The fragile feline was beginning to get frustrated with this apprentice. “No. I don’t know,” she hissed through gritted teeth. Though the journey sounded interesting, it was a risk that couldn’t be taken. Not when there was still time to mourn Branchpaw. Sure, it might be an exaggeration that it would take so long, but back then? Branchpaw was all this poor female had, and for him to be taken from her... it was so unbearable, she almost went insane. Flashpaw closed her eyes for a moment, thinking. Vixenpaw looked so hungry for vengeance, but why? Was she wronged in some way, and fulfilling someone else’s vengeance made her feel more complete? Whatever the reason, the she-cat had an idea. “Next moonrise.” Her eyes popped open and stared at the back of the long-furred she’s head.

[Liekki]

Originally Posted by Opal

"I don't know. I was figuring one of you would have an idea." Wildstrike deadpanned, taking another mouthful of his rabbit as he tried to settle back into his normal persona, "I mean I'm supposed to the quiet one in this sibling hierarchy so I don't know why you would ask shy little me to come up with a conversation topic, my dear brother." He sarcastically chided, twitching his whiskers ever so softly.

@Liekki

Originally Posted by Boba Fett

"Well, I guess that's true," he twitched his whiskers in amusement,"I mean... I guess we could talk about the Clan stuff. Such as tensions and how well the leaders are doing?" He suggested, tilted his head and flicking his left ear.

( @Liekki )

Duskthorn shifted awkwardly on the grass, trying to think of a topic that wouldn't offend any of them and seem like a normal conversation. "Well... um. You know, how's your day been, Wildstrike? I know mine's been wonderful so far," he said sarcastically. He quickly amended, "Not because of you. Just... life, you know? Honestly, everyone seems so uptight lately and cats snapping at each other for something that would never normally matter." He shook his head and yawned, looking at his siblings expectantly. He didn't know what else to say, he had never been the best at starting topics, though he could carry a conversation pretty well. If he wasn't offending anyone, that is.

[graves]

Originally Posted by blue jellie

The apprentice shoved her thoughts of self-pity away at Daydream's response. Feeling horrible, but knowing they would probably be irritated by another cat feeling bad for them, she closed her jaws and thought for a moment. They were obviously a very tough cat to read, especially when she didn’t know them, but.. was that fear in the air? Geckoleaf sounded so nice, and yet... Geckoleaf was dead. Was that it? Was there someone else in the haunted medicine cat’s life that was special to them who they believed would be taken from them as well? A shiver, like a cold breeze, crept down Flashpaw’s spine. Branchpaw’s laughing face flashed through her mind, and then a flash of him bruised and bloodied on the ground. The female nearly did a double-take, but the- burner, was it?- must’ve been working. The ginger helped stop an impending asthma attack, as well, which was most welcome to the feline, who had been suffering more and more as time went on. She knew she needed to settle down before she became an elder instead of a warrior. Needed something less demanding; something that wouldn’t stress her out and be filled to the brim with self-pity. There was nothing for that, though, was there? Nope, but she should at least find something to help.

Opening her jaws to ask Daydream whether they knew of something that could help her relax more, she stopped. Flashpaw was too proud to be babied. No, she’d lock up the worst pain and float it off to an island, where she’d have to go and live one day. One day soon. That island was filling faster than the she wanted to admit, and for not the first time, Flashpaw was frightened of dealing with it. But the she was a fighter; the fact that she had only attempted suicide once was proof of that. That one time was scary enough, too, and she was still alive. Instead of asking them about a relaxing herb, she decided on a more helpful topic. “Do you know of anything that could help with my... flashbacks? They’re getting worse and happening during the day, now. I can’t even go in the general vacinity of where the... accident happened, or...” The she-cat trailed off, not wanting to say the rest.

daydream hummed at the question. they themselves had those types of experiences, but had never quiet gotten the right formula to treat it. "The best possible way to get over something along those lines, is to face it again. Whether that means going there, even if you are scared out of your wits and end up breaking down, you faced it, and its behind you. Its a process of moving on. The reason why we have traumatic flashbacks in the first place is because we let them have a hold on our day to day reality. if we face it, and slowly work over it, they wont have hold of us anymore. like letting things go and putting that chapter to rest." they explained. it took a lot of bravery to do something like that, and by any means you had to be mentally stable enough to do something like that, but it was the only thing they could think of. there were no herb, no plant nor leaf that could treat emotional turmoil, only patience and time.

[Tavvi]

Originally Posted by Liekki

Duskthorn shifted awkwardly on the grass, trying to think of a topic that wouldn't offend any of them and seem like a normal conversation. "Well... um. You know, how's your day been, Wildstrike? I know mine's been wonderful so far," he said sarcastically. He quickly amended, "Not because of you. Just... life, you know? Honestly, everyone seems so uptight lately and cats snapping at each other for something that would never normally matter." He shook his head and yawned, looking at his siblings expectantly. He didn't know what else to say, he had never been the best at starting topics, though he could carry a conversation pretty well. If he wasn't offending anyone, that is.

"My days have been extraordinary as well Duskthorn!" Wildstrike snickered, liking the slight turn to lightheartedness the conversation had taken, "I got up, I barfed my guts out was then forced to eat a mouse by my very concerned mate and then subsequently barfed again!" He chortled remembering the events of earlier in the day with some strange sense of fondness, "But in all honesty, it hasn't been that bad. I visited Ma and Pinekit in the nursery and they both seem to be in good health so I can be grateful about that I suppose and Silverscar was a darling like always so I definitely can't complain about that either." He mewed, finishing his rabbit with a few more swift bites. @Boba Fett

[Liekki]

Originally Posted by Opal

"My days have been extraordinary as well Duskthorn!" Wildstrike snickered, liking the slight turn to lightheartedness the conversation had taken, "I got up, I barfed my guts out was then forced to eat a mouse by my very concerned mate and then subsequently barfed again!" He chortled remembering the events of earlier in the day with some strange sense of fondness, "But in all honesty, it hasn't been that bad. I visited Ma and Pinekit in the nursery and they both seem to be in good health so I can be grateful about that I suppose and Silverscar was a darling like always so I definitely can't complain about that either." He mewed, finishing his rabbit with a few more swift bites. @Boba Fett

Duskthorn nodded and smiled, closing his eyes, "Well, sounds like both of our days are just delightful. So, Treestep, how has your life been these past few days? Just as riveting as ours, I hope." His stomach rumbled in protest to his ignoring of it. Rolling his eyes, he jogged over to the fresh-kill pile and pulled out a squirrel. Duskthorn returned to his brothers, nibbling on the meat carefully. He hadn't taken the prey just out of hunger, though. Every time the conversation got awkward, he could just continue eating and hopefully escape the bumbling silence. Wildstrike's comment about their mother made him realize he hadn't visited her in a while. In fact, he had been mostly secluded from the family for a while out of forgetfulness, not malice.