Reviewing Your OCs

[Astraea]

Name: Fox-Kit {Currently} | Fox-Paw |Fox-{idk at the moment}

Gender: She-Cat

Clans/Affiliations: River-Clan her whole life | Star-Clan when she dies|

Ranks: Kit{currently} | App | Warrior | Elder |

Age: Shes currently 6 moons,she'll be 7 moons when she becomes an apprentice

Appearance: Fox-kit is green eyed kit with a orange colored base color she has a white chest with black paws,with a black muzzle and small turf of black hair on her head.She wears a flower crown full of white flowers with a yellow middle.

Personality: Fox-kit a kind kit with a a lot of confidence..Fox-kit does put herself down ,and at some-point she will be happy with her self but thats not today.

Backstory:When she was born she was abandoned and disowned by her mother.Fox-kit was stuck in the nursery until she was sick ...She recovered and is now waiting to become an apprentice.

Immediate Family: Water-Wave : Mother : A gray and black she-cat with blue eyes
Father:Unknown

Mate and Kits: N/A

@TheNyanCatMinecart

[TheNyanCatMinecart]

@~FoxesFire~

Fox- is a fairly common prefix, but it's cool. You're saying that you don't know what to do for her suffix? Alright. Maybe something like Foxflower would work? 6/10 (fairly common prefix and no suffix to work with)

Okay. Nothing wrong with female OCs! 10/10 (automatic points)

Okay! It's nice to know that she ends up somewhere after death, and RiverClan is a nice Clan to be in. 10/10 (automatic points for canon Clans)

These ranks are alright, but if she's old enough to retire for an elder, then she would've been a senior warrior first. Otherwise, these ranks are normal and I like them. 9/10 (missing rank)

I'm curious to know why her ceremony is delayed by a moon, but I won't judge that unless I don't get a reason. But how old is she when she becomes a warrior? A senior warrior? An elder? I know that this is a roleplay character and you haven't gotten too far with her yet, but I'd still like to know a basis for these things. 6/10 (missing information)

Really cute design! She really does look like a fox, doesn't she? This design is cool, but the flower crown does seem a tad unrealistic. It could be a unique quirk about her, though, so I won't be too judgemental on that. 8/10 (flower crown/animal designs are a bit overused)

This is an okay personality, a bit cliched, but alright. Her traits do clash a bit, however. She's confident, but puts herself down? That would mean that she's not confident in herself. Maybe she acts confident or is confident, but not in herself. You should also add some more traits to make her unique. Another thing is that this personality isn't very balanced. If she's more confident when she grows up, then that takes away basically her only flaw. So, give her more flaws. Maybe she grows stubborn or hot-headed. 6/10 (cliched/simple personality, lacking traits)

Why did her mother abandon and disown her? I'm assuming that her mother was in RiverClan because of what you said earlier, but still... why? How did RiverClan react? Maybe her mother had a fear of foxes and Foxkit looked just like a fox? Why did her mother disowning her cause her to be stuck in the nursery? How did that make her sick? Good for giving a reason why she was apprenticed late, but this backstory feels unfinished and lacks reasoning. It's a good start, though. 6/10 (needs more detail, incomplete)

Okay... her mother doesn't look a lot like her. How is her father unknown? I'm assuming that he must be fox-colored. But still... it's your OC! Even if your OC doesn't know who the father is doesn't mean that you don't. Also, what about siblings? If she has no siblings, then please tell me. 4/10 (missing stuff, lacking detail)

It's good that she doesn't have a mate and kits, but do you have plans for her having a mate and kits in the future? 9/10 (plans?)

Overall, Foxpaw gets a 74/100. She was lacking plenty of details, which caused point removals, but she has great potentials. She is a good roleplay character, so don't feel discouraged! She's rather interesting.

[Astraea]

Thanks ill try to make her more complex and not that simple

[Fawn]

Review of your reviews:

I find them to be over-simplifying and actively working against writer friendliness. For example: even when used adequately, the scoring system does not allot for gray area or discussion. It gives no positive reinforcement, only neutrality or negative punishment.

Nitpicking writers will merely feed perfectionist paranoia. Ranks or gender? That's nothing in comparison to more nuanced concepts like character development and thematic observations. Embody your thread title and assist writers in focusing on the right items rather than plucking apart a mistake in their submission. Your critiques often read as if the bottom line is to highlight every imperfect detail when it should be to go in with a fix-it attitude and craft them into something that works.

Encourage creativity in a fantasy series. Promote minority representation in a literary genre that has very little. Try to avoid closed-mindedness. Personally, what I've seen here is not an honest review of OCs but a sign up to have unimportant character aspects translate to point deductions without any deeper thought.

[TheNyanCatMinecart]

@Dipper

Alright. I apologize for that. I try to take information from other OC reviewers, but I guess that I do see my reviews as being a bit biased and not really the best. Thank you for the advice - that's good to know. The next time that somebody submits something, I'll keep this in mind.