WindClan: Life Before 2023's Fire

[Mango]

Originally Posted by Rainquail

Coldamber didn't know where to look as Gulltwist spoke of the things she'd done, the way she time and time again neglected her, always busy with something else, putting her to the side. She couldn't believe this cat she was being told about had been her at one point.
Even as the tabby paused, she realized there was still more to this story, because this only covered what happened before her apprenticehood, and notably hadn't mentioned anything about her time as a Medicine Cat. She dreaded what more she might have done.
"You don't have to continue, this is obviously.... it hurts. You needn't put yourself through this to sate my curiosity. I didn't realize. It was selfish of me to ask."
She was hurting because of her, hurting in ways she'd never understand. and she couldn't take it back
She wanted to apologize, but no number of apologies could fix the damage she'd caused and no apology could ever mean anything if she couldn't remember doing it. So long as she felt detached from those actions, her regrets were worthless.
Selfishly, she wanted to know more anyway, wanted to hear her crimes so she might atone for them, but her more empathetic nature made her hesitant to ask Gulltwist to continue.

Gulltwist hadn’t wanted to share anymore, but the pain she saw in her mother’s eyes, made her want to tell more. She wanted her mother to feel guilty to feel the pain of knowing what she did to her only surviving child, she bit her lip and shook her head,” No, you deserve to know. At the point when I was becoming an apprentice, I still viewed you as the most important person in my life, and I believed you just needed time to grieve and then you’d give a bunch of attention to me to make up for that time. Then it was the day of my apprentice ceremony. I was thrilled and really excited, you kinda seemed to shrug it off and shush me to let Twilightstar keep speaking. That’s when she announced you were to become medicine cat. I was thrilled for you and kept cheering loudly for you, Snailswirl was the other medicine cat, they didn’t like how loud I was and told me to shut up, and you kinda silently agreed with them and basically told me to leave the meeting if I can’t be quiet, when I was just excited for you….” she meowed she didn’t want to go into the pain she felt getting told to shut up for being a bit too excited for her,” But that wasn’t where we fully had our relationship ruined. Coyotesnarl had come to the conclusion that as a medicine cat, you couldn’t also have a family, so he basically he forced you to disown me. When he talked to both of us, I was obviously upset, and begged you to refuse, to abandon the rank so that we could still be family, but you told me that serving as medicine cat was more important, and that I was still one of your clanmates.” she meowed. Some of the things she said at the end, weren’t quite true, but it was how it felt to her so she saw no harm in saying it, she believed it was what she meant anyways,” It basically ruined our relationship, but I still believed if my life was in danger, you’d come back to me. Then one day I had this incident, I went into shock and was terrified for my life, I came running to you, and basically you kinda shrugged it off and told your other medicine cat, Snailswirl to take care of it, while I was literally sobbing on the ground begging for you to take care of me. After that, I ran away from the clan for a little bit, I guess I should mention, I’ve never really had friends. Currently I have no one. So I came to the conclusion if you don’t care about me, that means no one does. So why was I taking up space in Windclan. I was trying to starve myself to death. That was when my brother came to be in a dream. He convinced me to live the life he never got, it sorta worked, but not that much, but one thing he told me is that when you became a medicine cat and agreed to disown me, he stopped being able to visit you in dreams. I returned that day to Windclan, and entered the den screaming at you about how I didn’t care that you disowned and hated me, but was furious you abandoned him. I believe Snailswirl dragged me off while I screamed. I calmed down, and ever since have just avoided you because it’s easier. We only really fight when we interact.” she meowed. She couldn’t help but wonder what her life would be like, if she was the sick kit and she survived instead of dying, would her life be better, she imagined it would. Her social skills would have been developed instead of being pushed off when her brother died, it quit being something important she had to while grieving take care of herself, she didn’t have time for play anymore or socializing, but she did have time to push her sadness on others to make herself feel better. She sometimes wondered if she’d be happier as a loner just hunting when needing prey and sleeping the day away. She still didn’t get why she was still alive, she kept herself alive because she promised her brother she’d live the life he didn’t get to, but she didn’t know how to do that, so she just mindlessly wandered through her life.

[Abyssopelagic]

Coldamber listens to Gulltwist continue, staying silent herself as she processed what she was told. She couldn't believe this cat being spoken about was her, that she'd do such a thing. Why would she have had to give up her family?
Why was she forced to choose between serving the Clan and her daughter? And why had she chosen to keep the position if they'd had another healer?
It was confusing and she hated the way it made her feel, so broken and vulnerable. She didn't want to be feeling this way.
She hung her head and looked away. She couldn't look her in the eyes.
An apology seemed empty and held no meaning. She wanted to know what she'd been thinking to make her choose what she had.
"Why did I have to choose? What was stopping me from doing my duty and trying to be your mother?"
That she'd had to make such a choice was..... foolish. She couldn't think of a reason she couldn't have been both, no real reason one should have interfered with the other.
"I hate what I've done to you and I wish any apology I could give wasn't so meaningless. I cannot imagine why Twilightstar has you training me with our history..... but I'm glad you're taking the time to do it anyway."
With her curiosity stated, that same selfish part of her now wanted to grow closer to the daughter she could have had, to try and heal what she'd broken in the first place.

@Zesty Mango

[Shade.]

@Moonraven

Rapidkit understood that he shouldn't go out of camp. But he wanted to find his mom so badly. He accepted the comforting lick and literally buried his face ib the leader's leg.
"I promise I won't sneak out again" he sobbed.

[Lavender'fur]

[ @Moonraven ]

;Poppybreeze;

Noticing the Clan Leader, she turned and moved over.

"Twilightstar," she greeted the Leader as she grew closer. "I went outside Camp," she explained. "Turns out spending some moons in the Nursery doesn't help your Warrior skills. I got caught up,"

The Queen flicked her ears towards her ruffled fur and light thorn-scratches. "Maybe these explain a bit? I ran into some thorns,"

[Raven~]

Originally Posted by Zesty Mango

Bunnypaw hadn’t been exposed to many types of prey, but she was pretty sure she smelled rabbit,” Rabbit, our own scent, and some other scents that aren’t any clans scent.” she meowed unsure how to describe the other scents that was prey that was nearby.

"Yes, yes, and I believe that's lapwing you're smelling." Breezedapple flicked her tail. "Well done. There's a warren of rabbits down there. We're going to go catch a couple of them." She smiled at Bunnypaw. "Ready?"

[Silverfur & Co]

Sunkit looked around she hated being in the nusrey as it was getting full and she wanted to go explore but things was getting dangerous for a kit like her.

[Jay.]

// @WarriorzFan \\

Ryecloud slowly opened her eyes after a
small nap. She had been out patroling and
had been tired, but now she feeled much better.

She glanced around the den, and
when she saw no one. She hopped
to her paws and headed to the enterance.

[WarriorzFan]

Originally Posted by Jay.

// @WarriorzFan \\

Ryecloud slowly opened her eyes after a
small nap. She had been out patroling and
had been tired, but now she feeled much better.

She glanced around the den, and
when she saw no one. She hopped
to her paws and headed to the enterance.

Elderflare was hanging out by the front entrance, observing if shells were needed in certain spots. He gave a yawn of satisfaction, sitting down to admire his work. He heard footsteps coming towards him, and so he turned around to greet the mysterious cat. “Going somewhere? I wouldn’t. Shadow clan kills us on sight and given the state of the other clans, I pale in fear for what might happen to you.” He said with a straight face.

[Jay.]

Originally Posted by WarriorzFan

Elderflare was hanging out by the front entrance, observing if shells were needed in certain spots. He gave a yawn of satisfaction, sitting down to admire his work. He heard footsteps coming towards him, and so he turned around to greet the mysterious cat. “Going somewhere? I wouldn’t. Shadow clan kills us on sight and given the state of the other clans, I pale in fear for what might happen to you.” He said with a straight face.

Ryecloud jumped when she saw
Elderflare right outside the den. She was
confused for a second. Why did he think
she would leave camp? "I actually
just wanted something to eat!"
She looked at the tom with a kind gaze.
"Would you like to join me?

[WarriorzFan]

Originally Posted by Jay.

Ryecloud jumped when she saw
Elderflare right outside the den. She was
confused for a second. Why did he think
she would leave camp? "I actually
just wanted something to eat!"
She looked at the tom with a kind gaze.
"Would you like to join me?

“I suppose so, I have nothing else to do.” He said with a bored look on his face. He walked over to move to pad beside her. “So. My day has been amazing.” He said sarcastically, then continued: “How was your day?” He asked, genuinely curious.