sun after the rain [p]

[poppy]

Rain
7 moons | he/him
______________________

The breaking point had come one night. A warm, uncomfortable night. It was about two or three moons after he had seen the ThunderClanners come and go. After countless nights of wondering if he would wake up to his mother's family and friends coming to retrieve him, Rain was done. The breaking point was Phantom dragging in a kittypet and murdering it in front of Rain, and the young tom had earned the white creature's trust enough to be able to walk freely in their small alley. The chimera wasn't willing to revisit the things he had to do to get the other cat's stamp of approval- he countered the waves of guilty sickness with telling himself that he had to survive and he shouldn't have to apologize for that.

And the level of apathy he had towards the cats he had to hurt to survive was frightening to the young cat, but what was he supposed to do? He just wanted to live. He wanted to be a kid. He wanted to have a life outside of this alley, and he wanted to have friends and find the remainder of his family and... honestly? He wanted to touch grass. Maybe that was stupid. He wanted to see colors that weren't gray, black and blood red. Was that stupid?

Yes. Probably. But he wanted to see cats with the same bright blue eyes as his mom. As him. He had spent some nights dreaming of what his aunt would be like. He would daydream about him showing up the ThunderClan's alley or wherever they lived, and having her be happy and relieved to see him. He dreamed of the other family members his mom had hinted about running over to him and... caring about him. And doing family stuff together. He didn't really know what that was like, but he liked to think that it was nice. And he would have a best friend and lots of other friends and he'd be nice to EVERYONE, because he never wanted to be like the three cats he had spent the last 6 moons of his life with.

Would his family even want him? Some nights he felt too broken to even count as a whole cat, and sometimes he felt like there was no way he could be good if he was surrounded by bad. He wouldn't blame them if they didn't want a lost, confused cat in their family. Maybe they were happy as they were. But he knew he didn't want to stay here anymore.

And the opportunity came quietly, if he wasn't laying awake, thinking of the home he wasn't sure existed, he would've missed it. It was nighttime. It was raining heavily. So heavily, in fact, that both Hazelbutt (the memory of the nickname his sister gave the molly shot a shiver of sadness through him before he pushed through) and Clyde retreated to their dens for the night. Phantom was asleep as usual, and the chance seemed too good to be real. He almost pinched himself to make sure it wasn't a dream.

But no need, the cold, driving rain made it quite clear that this was in fact real life. Rising to his paws, he left his small crate, shivering as he was almost completely soaked immediately. Dusty green and blue eyes searched the alley, before he slipped up against the wall, and then pushed off. Bony body moved akin to lightning, sprinting to the alley opening. He had done this countless times before when he was younger, and as his paws hit the black stone of the road, he expected claws to sink into his haunches and to be dragged back.

But he wasn't.

He didn't really know what to do or where to go- he hadn't been this far in his whole 7 moons of life, so he just kept running, nearly being hit by a car. His pads hit the smooth stone of the alley across the way, and he dove into the darkness, not risking a glance back, heard thudding aggressively in his ear. He was out. Like... like out-out. In the distance, he thought he heard the call of one of the three cats that he had been living with, and quickly hurried deeper into the darkness of the alley, thanking the Skycats for the rain to disguise his scent. Finding a small hole in the wall of a building, which he was able to fit his starved, muscled body into, and he came out on the other side in a dark, cold building. The floor was smooth, and he made his way across, slipping out on the other side, chest heaving. There it was. The place where they had attacked and almost killed his mom. He didn't want to risk getting stuck, so he squeezed into an old woodchuck's den going partially under the building. Now he'd be able to watch if any cats came, but they wouldn't be able to get to him unless he showed himself.

For once, he felt a small sense of safety. Just a tiny one, he had no idea how to hunt and probably had those three cats trying to find him, but at least he was free. That counted for something. He just always imagined this differently. He wanted his sister to be with him, and he wanted his littermates to be here and his mom and his family. The hole in him that was usually filled with hope for escape was hollow now with uncertainty. He couldn't find ThunderClan, and he was all alone. For the first time in his life, he was alone, and the silence held fear.

Little did he know, only a few weeks later, he and his Auncle would cross paths by chance, and his whole life would take a full 180 turn.

But until then, he curled up into a ball, in the safety of the building he had found shelter underneath, knowing he wouldn't sleep, but trying to relax. One day at a time. That was what he was gonna do. Just survive. One day at a time. Good plan.

(this take place approximately a few weeks before the future rescue role-play, just felt like typing this up)