i survived but i paid for it. [VA]

[stag]

There was always a point where you just stop, where someone loses the energy to keep going. That’s what Hound had thought at least. The room is still, mews of hunger and sorrow fill haunt’s ears. The room has a yellow tint to it, the wallpaper a faint and faded floral pattern. As if Hound was staying at the woods, a distant memory to the cat. Haunt is silent, the twoleg pawsteps sending a shiver through Hound’s fur. The door opens, it allows a crack of light in that sends a cool breeze throughout the room. The rusty and dark metal frame that surrounds Hound remains cold, it circles the litter. A twoleg paw reaching near a kitten next to Hound, the black kitten is taken up into the air with a scream. Hound is cold, eyes locking with the other kit. Hound watching silently, it is taken out of the grimy room. Kit screams echo throughout the room as Hound exhales the breath haunt had been holding.

The room has a dampness to the air, dirt covering some parts of the white flooring, panels of the ceiling collecting dust. Hound finds comfort in the smell, breathing in shallower then deeper breathes. Haunt is motionless, eyes closing as the raised hair falls down to haunt’s normal roughness. Hound has met haunt’s mother once, then was taken to this room. The room of hell. Hound is the biggest of the other kittens. Protector was what the others called Hound. Sisters, brother, haunts siblings. Hound feels a shudder shake haunt’s pelt, the door was closed for many heartbeats by now. The kitten mews from before were still echoing through the air. Haunt tries to phase it out, to cut out the noise of another lost sibling, to twolegs. Gone, like so many that had gone to sleep and never awoken, gone like the one Hound has just lost to that twoleg. Twolegs had let Hound survive, feeding Hound more than haunts siblings. Always sure to take care of Hound’s coat. Why..?

Hound feels a muzzle dig softly into haunt’s face. It provides a small bit of comfort, a nose much smaller than Hound’s. Words fill the silence of the crowd. “Where are they….where are they taking him…? Are they giving him food? Will they give me food too?” How did one answer that... Hound is silent, eyes staring at the grey kitten- haunt’s younger sister. Dim, ragged light from the faded blub at the top of the room. Hound is still, words not daring to form as haunt’s mouth is cracked open. How did you tell your sister that he was gone…? Hound closed haunt’s mouth, pushing haunt’s muzzle to touch the shekit’s forehead. Words that escape are shallow, barely noticeable in the group that was flooded with screams, those filled with grief at the loss of another. “He- it’s- nice place…” Hound feels a stab of guilt, as shakey breathes rack haunt’s frame. Paws unstable as a faint thirst traps itself in haunt’s throat.

The black and white cat feels the unstable feeling in Hound’s paws. Haunt removes hauntself from the grey shekit. Tears filled her eyes, Hound could ever see the light that filled the green eyes, it was gone now. Arising to Hound’s full height, towering over the kitten. It was clear, she would die too. Hound could see her ribs, her skinny, boney limbs, Hound felt how light she was. Haunt would lose another. It was better to not grow an attachment to her now, it would serve her better in death. Hunger was normal in this room, was the world like this? The world was chasing something that was impossible to grasp. Hound moves, paws hitting the dirt and avoiding waste that littered the floor. Hound sighs, haunt doesn’t look back, death would take more and more. The cat pauses for a brief moment, preparing to try to jump out of the circle. To hide in the dusty and moist bookshelves. Hound feels the safety of the wood underneath haunt’s paws. Calls of haunt’s name causing the cat to want to scream, want to tell them all to be quiet, tell them that they were all going to die and Hound was no protector. But they were younger, they wouldn’t get the chance to survive. Most wouldn’t make it out alive at least, thrown into a bag and left to rot. Hound digs haunt’s claws into the wood, finding haunt’s normal hiding spot between a book and the wooden shelf wall, Hound blocks out the call, the screams, the final moments of silence that time had given some, staying here was the only escape.

The only escape from the terrors of the world, of this room.