Forging Strength in the Chaos

[Jayvines]

~ Lioncrest ~

Recent political tensions between clans weren't usually a cause for concern in Lioncrest's mind; Thunderclan would persevere, and he would fight tooth and claw for their victory. However, considering the recent... unfortunate streak of medicine cat loses, injuries, and honourless attempted assassinations, the large golden tom wasn't going to take any chances when it came to his mate's adopted daughter. Besides, they needed to have a proper conversation outside of him escorting Dovefluff to the medicine den or cordial patrols.

And so Lioncrest approached the medicine cat's den with a self-assured stride. He would be imparting incredibly useful skills onto this young cat. Skills that could end up saving her life one day, should the forest turn towards heedless bloodshed.

"Springpaw," the large, golden tom rumbled, poking his head into the strong smelling den with a blink. "Would you care to accompany me on a patrol through the territory?"

Best to start these things casually. Easier to form bonds when threads are woven slowly.

[ @eris First time for real conversation woohoo!!! ]

[iliri]

Springpaw
long-furred, oriental-shaped, gray-and-orange calico molly with blue eyes; torn right ear
purrks: herbal knowledge - tier 2 | the collector | mind reader | skip the steps[all perm. active; sts for battle training]

---

Exhaustion had been overcoming itself over her like a vice. Her eyes had grown sunken and fatigue was claiming its way through her system. The vastness of the growing weariness that made it nearly impossible to ignore. She hadn’t been certain if it was due to the recent tensions uprising or the cold finally taking advantage of her. The recent political tensions had made her grow immensely cautious towards any upbringings of bloodshed that could occur at any second. Ears erect and eyes peered, silence engulfed the young medic as she kept watch over her precious, scant herbs. Springpaw couldn’t place her tongue for why she had been so prolonged with the labor of the task of watching the herbs, but her inner consciousness unfolded to only tell her that it was desirable; that it was important. These herbs were fragile like a newborn kit, and one fatal move could easily tarnish the entire storage. That wasn’t something that Springpaw wanted to happen anytime soon, especially with the upbringing of war looming over ThunderClan’s shoulders.

A voice broke through her futile thoughts, yet Springpaw’s eyes had already been narrowed, breaking her eyes away from the storage to make contact with the figure standing at the mouth of the tree-like den. The voice clicked at a specific part of her brain, raising her adrenaline as her sunken eyes blinked incessantly to adjust towards the dim lighting of the den that spilled itself among the coarse ground of the soil. The long shadows from her visitor spilled themselves among the rigid walls of the den as her almond-shaped hues adjusted themselves accordingly to take in the appearance of her visitor. Lioncrest. Her stomach whirled, feeling queasy and Springpaw felt the unbridled urge to curse away the impending anxiety that crept itself up her throat and hung itself by a thread. She couldn’t configure why she was feeling this way, but she suspected that it was because she hadn’t bothered to give herself a proper rest due to the recent incidents that occurred a few sunrises ago. Her greeting faltered, the words pitifully falling back down her windpipe as her stiffened limbs complained while she stood from her sitting position. Her head spun as she felt light on her paws, taking a brief breather to gather her composure before focusing intently on the tom-cat that entered the den.

“Lioncrest,” Springpaw called back, brilliant, lapis blue orbs landing on a glassy shade of amber. It had been a particularly long while since she had spoken face-to-face with the golden-furred feline. The most that she knew was that he was the mate of her adopted mother and the father to her new-found siblings. A pit in her stomach wasn’t sure what to make of him, but another side felt swarmed with jealousy and misunderstanding for the fact that Dovefluff never truly seemed to be around anymore. It felt selfish of her to think in such a way, but she couldn’t necessarily blame her mother for raising a new litter of kits. She never had a true chance to interact with the molly after she had her kits, but it was something that she would need to consider after not being around her for a good while.

Curiosity unfolded, revealing a slight shade of unnecessary suspicion as the oriental-shaped feline listened to Lioncrest’s offer, blue hues shining thoughtfully. Of all cats, she never truly suspected him of offering her the chance to patrol around the territory. It wasn’t relatively often that cats were the ones who asked her to accompany them, relatively with it being quite the opposite with her sending out patrols. Her nostrils exhaled, a whiff of frost dancing around her bright pink nose as her brain churned restlessly to provide a reasonable answer. A part of her wanted to go, another wanted to shield away in the darkness of the den. To be provided in the quiet, stillness of the tenebrosity that kept her sheltered from the horrors that shaped themselves. But, her heart yearned for an escape; an escape from this trapped contraption and wander through the snow-crested woods. To hear the sound of soft crunching beneath her paws as she padded away through its powdery, white atmosphere. Her eyes fluttered, a short wave of tiredness clasping over her weaving consciousness like a vice. Sleep had been troubling, but that wasn’t her main focus. The current situation that was unfolding in front of her was that the tom-cat needed an answer from the young healer.

“I’ll come… along... I need… to clear… my head... from everything.” Her words were slow, her nose taking in the golden tom-cat’s scent against the heavy stench of herbal remedies and frigid, cold air. With her answer finally out in the open, the calico steadily trudged her way toward the waiting feline, her eyes focusing merrily on his as she carefully studied him for a brief moment. What was his intentions? What had he acquired her of all cats for? She was no skilled hunter, even if she knew the very basics of it. Hell, she wasn't a skilled fighter either, for in any troubles they wind up in around their patrol, she may be better off ditched in a hole instead. Herbal knowledge wouldn't come in handy for any possible ruthless bloodshed in battle.

@Jayvines [ can’t wait! ]

[Jayvines]

~ Lioncrest ~

Brows furrowed ever so slightly as his gaze found Springpaw's form and took in the rather... Disheveled wasn't quite the word for the muted and seemingly exhausted cat that turned towards him, but it seemed she was well on her way towards that descriptor. Stars above, wasn't anyone ensuring their medicine cats were in proper health???

A huff of frosty breath escaped his muzzle as he dipped his head in acknowledgement of her response before pulling out of the den entrance and stepping back so she could join him in the clearing. He'd have to adjust his plan slightly to accommodate for fatigue-based responses, but for now he would proceed as expected. "I was planning to patrol out to Willow's Rise, unless you have any objections to that location."

It was a safe spot in the heart of Thunderclan's territory; theoretically they would only be interrupted by clanmates coming to pay their respects, or unexpected wildlife. Springpaw seemed well enough to at least put on a mask of normalcy, so the large golden tom turned towards the entrance and led the way out with a flick of his tail. Choosing to pad into the forest for a few moments in silence, Lioncrest chose not to break it until they were several foxlengths from their home and away from prying ears.

"I do not wish to pry into anything that you'd rather not share, however it seems that you have a lot on your mind. I am more than willing to listen to your troubles, or perhaps offer advice if you wish it."

[ @eris Apologies for the wait! ]

[iliri]

Springpaw
long-furred, oriental-shaped, gray-and-orange calico molly with blue eyes; torn right ear
purrks: herbal knowledge - tier 2 | the collector | mind reader | skip the steps[all perm. active; sts for battle training]

---

Willow’s Rise. If Springpaw remembered clearly, that was ThunderClan’s memorial site from the fire. She hadn’t visited the place for a good portion of time, the only time being when Drizzlecloud had decided to show her the place a little bit after she had gained this insufferable injury. Just the slightest thought about it made the young medic internally wince, hoping to get the thought off her mind. To be fair, she had a lot of mixed thoughts rummaging through her overworked mind. It had been doing nothing but consistently bug her throughout the seemingly endless days and nights. Hell, it even caused her to cast in a spectacle of insomnia to add to the mix. It blatantly explained the utter exhaustion that she was holding turmoil for, including why she had been utterly restless for the past few days. Did her thoughts contain anything about the recent events that had happened in the clearing with Mapleface and Violetfreckle? Most definitely, Did they contain her worries about the well-being of the clan and about her eventually upholding the title of ThunderClan’s future medicine cat? Again, most definitely so.

Nonetheless, Lioncrest’s offer still hung in the air like a thick fog and Springpaw had the choice to either accept it or decline it. The answer alone was already obvious to her, as she had already decided to agree to accompany the warrior on his patrol. However, even with her acceptance to accompany him still done and over with, why did he ask her of all cats to join him on patrol? Of course, the young calico knew that she needed something like this to help ease the troubling burdens of recent events that kept lurking in the very crevices of her mind. But it was both quite puzzling and suspicious to know that the golden-furred feline was persistent in coming along over towards the medicine den and asking if the medic herself would be honored to accompany him for a patrol. Was it just for the fact that she was the daughter of his mate? Maybe, but that still didn’t completely justify why he wanted her of all intents and purposes to come along with him to go to Willow’s Rise.

She may find out on their stroll to the peaceful gravesite she supposed, as the tom-cat was already beginning to leave. Without any other choice, she followed, feeling her paws subconsciously leading her outside into the cold clearing and out of the safety of ThunderClan camp. It felt relatively quiet out today. There wasn’t much activity swarming around camp, which felt odd. Usually, cats were up and around at this time of hour, but she presumed that they were all either outside hunting for prey to bring back or tidied away in the warmth of their nests away from the frosty winter air. Either option sounded possible, but she didn’t want to pour her thoughts into it. Springpaw didn’t find herself thinking much about it as she exited out through the camp entrance, sincerely just allowing herself to take in the scenery around her.

The forest looked uniquely beautiful in the wintertime. The ground was coated with a glittery mass of white and sleet, covering her porcelain-white paws with portions of snow, giving them a more glistening coat of white. Her ears moved towards the ground ever so often to hear the light crunching of the snow from each stop that she took, watching as her pawprints left themselves imprinted into the pure white canvas. As much as she wanted to say the sight itself was unique, she couldn’t help but feel glad that leaf-bare was already halfway through its cycle. Soon it would be newleaf and herbs would finally start to replenish themselves all over the place. Faint curiosity attacked the molly as she felt herself briefly eying Lioncrest. Could this be why he was bringing her out here? To gather herbs for the clan? Maybe that could be the cast, but it also couldn’t as the tom-cat never really seemed to be the type to do such things.

However, her ears instinctively perked up as his voice bellowed out against the quiet stillness of the frozen forest, her blue eyes facing his direction briefly as they trekked through the territory toward their destination. The calico almost instantly found the words that had been dwelling into her mind crawling up her throat and pounding against her lips to be expelled. Lioncrest knew that she was holding on to a mask of normality to keep anyone from burdening her troubles. She almost wanted to give him credit for that, but her jaws felt tightly sealed. How and where would she even begin with her unfolding of burdens that she had kept away from everyone else? How would Lioncrest even feel if she bothered to tell him about her interior feelings about him? Or, how would he feel if she just began to ramble on about the whole drama that had decided to unfold from the last few sunrises ago within the middle of the clearing? About the fact that she’s still interiorly missing her father figure every day even though she treated him like absolute garbage before he left without notice? Would he even care? Did she even care? Why was she thinking this?

Her head began to spin and interiorly pound against the consistency of questions flooding her mind. The quiet stillness of winter surrounding her helped her bring solace within her cluttered mind. Its crisp air carried the whispers of the snow-covered trees, their branches adorned with delicate frost. The rhythmic crunch beneath her numbed paws brought a calming cadence to her. Even if she was surrounded by nature’s hushed symphony, it didn’t help ease the fact that her own heart began to race and her blood began to boil beneath her skin. Could it have been from the fact that she was right by the very tom who just so happened to be her mother’s mate? Maybe. Or maybe, it was the fact that she didn’t know how he would feel if she just began to ramble the most random of things to him. She wasn’t sure how her mother viewed him, but she didn’t view him in the same light. At least, not in the same light of a father as much as her heart ached for one tremendously after Foxstep’s sudden disappearance.

“I… I don’t… even… know where… to begin… really,” Springpaw began, her blue eyes locking towards a frozen puddle that glittered and twinkled against the light golden rays of sunshine that shone through the bleak, graying clouds. “There’s… so many… things… that happened… as of late… that my mind… just feels… so cluttered… so chaotic… full of endless… thoughts… that don’t… seem to stop… even when… I try.” Her paws slowed, consciousness finally coming over them as her body shivered against the numbing sensation running through her veins and pouring into her nerves. Each fiber being of her body felt stilled by the crisp chilling of winter that bit and weaved through her fur like ice-cold water, making her eyes flutter as she landed them on his glassy amber orbs again. “I’ve… been thinking… a lot… about… my dad… in all… honesty… or if… I should… even consider him… a dad… I never… had the chance… to tell him… how I… looked up to… him… before he… left.” How funny. Of all cats, she held herself thinking of Foxstep the most. Sure, there was her mother, Rabbitchatter, Bumblestar, literally anyone else, but she found herself thinking of him the most. She couldn’t understand why or how, but the most that she assumed was just… the fact that he was always there.

It felt ridiculous. Foxstep was the cat that caused numerous injuries to be inflicted upon countless cats during the fox invasion. She couldn’t defend him for the fact that he was negligent and decided to take innocent children out to fight against foxes. Specifically, ones that held very little battle training. It was almost like it was just a day ago when she remembered seeing her cousin stumble into the medicine den, looking all tattered with gnarly bite marks and reeking of blood and fox. She still felt angry at him for causing such an idiotic mistake, but that anger didn’t last forever. Even with all the boiling rage that she had held for him all because of what he had done… She felt guilty. She felt guilty and she never had the chance to truly tell him that he was loved and that she looked up to him like a dad. What a horrible daughter she was. Never upholding the chance to tell her father that she never truly was angry with him, just disappointed. Now, he's gone and she has to bear with that guilt for the rest of her life. If there was a chance for her to turn back time and see him again so she could tell him that she was truly sorry and she saw him like a father, she truly would. That chance that she had while she was recovering was gone. She was filled with hatred. Stupid, futile hatred.

Throughout the entire time that she had been thinking about the former deputy, she hadn’t realized that she had been secretly crying. Her cheeks felt moist by the warm, now chilled tears that stained her cheeks. A wetness that had only begun not so long ago. When did the tears begin? No matter how hard she wanted to fight the impudence of emotions, she knew she couldn’t override them. It was the emotional downpour that she simply couldn’t physically express; a way that her body expressed itself in which words cannot convey. The world felt blurry as it spun til it stood proudly on its axis. Her paws began to feel heavy, her heart now restlessly twisting and pulling as the array of mixed emotions attacked her all at once. She shouldn’t be crying. She was 17 moons old, for StarClan’s sake. She should be keeping herself up on her paws and pondering away from the negatives. “I… I’m sorry,” she pitifully croaked, voice wobbly and hoarse as she desperately attempted to speak to the golden-furred tom through a fury of tears attacking her eyes, almond-shaped hues rounded as she stared up towards him in a position of weakness. A position of pure shame and embarrassment. “It’s… stupid of me… to cry… I know… but I miss… him… as I do… for a lot… of other cats.”

@Jayvines [ sorry, a little bit of a late reply also don’t mind me casually getting deep into this lmao ]

[Jayvines]

~ Lioncrest ~

There seemed to be a pocket of time where the young cat accompanying him was lost in an internal battle. Amber eyes glanced back every so often to evaluate her response; had he pressed too hard? Perhaps overestimated her willingness to unburden herself with a clanmates? But, after an extended pause, it seemed that the dam locking away whatever troubled her began to crack. Then burst.

Giving an occasional nod and hum of acknowledgement as Springpaw began to search out the right words and phrases to express themselves, Lioncrest slowed his pace to accompany the apprentice as they approached their destination. Family could be a... Complicated subject. He wasn't entirely aware of who exactly Springpaw had looked up to in such a way (stars only know how many lay-abouts had wandered away from this clan, whether it was by choice or force), but he was intimately familiar with the concept of complicated family ties.

Glancing back once more after the apprentice had faded back into silence, the large golden tom was surprised to find tears running down her cheeks. As she seemed to become aware of this unexpected show of emotion, Lioncrest felt his stomach clench as the young molly looked up towards him with a crestfallen and embarrassed look. That wouldn't do at all. It seemed that this young cat was in need of more teaching than what he had originally set out to accomplish today.

"Do not apologize for gifting me this trust," the large tom rumbled, tone serious and amber gaze trained on Springpaw with a look of determination. "It is an honor. I would not call you 'stupid', or 'weak', or any other dishonorable attributes for sharing your troubles. We are clanmates; and while you hold a position of power amongst this clan you are also entitled to the support and stability that comes with being apart of a family first and a clan second."

He paused for a moment to let the apprentice digest his statement before continuing, and he gently flicked his tail over to rest against her flank in a brief gesture of comfort.

"Missing a family member, or cats you care for is not a weakness. Our bonds are what strengthen us; they drive us forward to accomplish goals and protect what we care for... My father had many mates and many kits for that very reason. A strong familial foundation provides the best opportunities for said kits to thrive, and for strength of character and values to form. However, when strong bonds are formed it inherently means that there will be pain when such a bond is severed, whatever the circumstances."

"You are allowed to grieve. You are allowed to rage. You should not push such things to the side to fester. Emotions can become like open wounds; if not treated properly infections can form and they must be re-opened to properly heal."

Amber eyes alighted on the familiar trees of Thunderclan's graveyard and memorial site.

"I brought you out here today to offer you training to strengthen your defensive and aggressive capabilities. If you do not feel up to that task today, I am happy to simply assist you in a hunt for herbs or prey, however these emotions can be channelled into a force for progress if you can harness them."

[ @eris ]

[iliri]

Springpaw
long-furred, oriental-shaped, gray-and-orange calico molly with blue eyes; torn right ear
purrks: herbal knowledge - tier 2 | the collector | mind reader | skip the steps[all perm. active; sts for battle training]

---

The emotions felt like they were almost too much. Spits of salty tears had been pouring themselves down her face restlessly, further tainting the soft fur on her cheeks and dripping down into the powdery snow beneath her paws. Her emotions felt like they were roaring like a shaken storm. Each part of her insides felt like they were giving out roars and lightning crackles, her body feeling interiorly heated against the bare frost of sleet touching her flesh. It felt like a consistent grinding of two halves against one another. One of coldness and another of hotness, almost configuring with her shaken emotions at the given moment. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how to stop it. It felt like a dam that kept rising up and up until it finally burst and began to crack, thus exploding by the time the tides of tears had finally reached their breaking point. So much for being in a rank of so-called power. She felt entirely worthless right there within the unholy star’s grasp. The endless muttering of taunting words echoed within the very crevices of her brain, hissing and spitting as angrily as rabid animals whose jaws were coated with saliva as they locked on their prey.

Lioncrest’s rumbling voice poured itself like a soothing of sweet honey through her veins, grasping her attention as the torn-down apprentice finally dragged her eyes away from the cold snow and onto his glassy amber hues, sensing his spoken gratitude. Her head was pounding from her brief moment of quiet sobbing, her face stricken from the tumultuous release of emotions. Each moment that she stood there, the longer that she felt the air grow heavy with the weight of unspoken words and unresolved feelings. Every part of her wanted to burst and allow the raw pain of her emotional storm to unfold herself, to allow herself to expel the unwavering agony that had been withering away in her mind for what felt like decades. The last echoes of her sobs faded, a lingering ache settling in her chest as the wintery sentiment around the duo seemed to hold the residue of her pain; the aftermath of her quiet, yet emotionally-torn sobbing. Her mind finally allowed itself to grapple with the words that Lioncrest had exposed, giving her a mental restart toward the situation that she had been taken out of.

She wanted to apologize. She wanted to ramble about how deeply sorry she was for abruptly exploding on her emotions for something as nimble as missing a warrior who had caused nothing but mayhem for ThunderClan. The words she wanted to say felt as if they were hanging by a thread at the edges of her throat, practically clawing at her in an incessant urge to come out. Each of her muscles felt as if they were growing numb from the cold that kept digging itself into the very crevices of her coat. The words felt as if they kept on growing with the urge, her body feeling as if it was boiling yet also freezing within winter’s grasp. Her mind finally began to open itself as she took in Lioncrest’s words, feeling as if the world had finally stopped tilting on its axis and back to its normal route. His words felt so genuine, bringing a feeling of warmth into the very depths of her broken, tired soul. He was being truthful. He wasn’t lying. He wasn’t… trying to do anything that would make her further upset.

Her body hadn’t even flinched when she felt him rest his tail against his flank, only allowing herself to process the list of statements that he was allowing himself to elaborate so flawlessly on. He said that she was allowed to grieve. She was allowed to rage. A part of her wanted to push such a thing away and disagree with his statements, but another wanted to adsorb the knowledge. His words were genuine, and he was being honest and sharing a little bit about himself, now she should do the same. Her lips quivered, her mind grappling to find the right words that clenched and clawed at the back of her throat. The crisp air hitting against her face made it impractically hard to properly process the words that wanted to escape her lips, but her mind eventually lost its hazy coverage and finally began to speak, her voice slow and wobbly as her stomach queasy against her speech. “T… Thank you… Lioncrest… I hadn’t… realized that… pushing… away such… negative… emotions was… just going… to cause… more and more… trouble… I’ll keep… your word… next time.”

She wasn’t denying that. Each of his words has left an impact on her mind. An impact that was bound to hopefully replenish the lost strength that she needed to muster. Her mind had been so lost in the trauma that she had endured from the last few moons that she never really had time to properly muster the courage to finally speak out against her issues. Partially, that was due to her being within the medicine den and working herself restlessly to keep the prestigious herbs from going bad, but that wasn’t her fault. Being a medicine cat wasn’t an easy job as cats may think of it as to be, but of course, if they wanted to delve into that imaginary way of thinking, they could. Her thoughts drifted after she had finally allowed herself to look around at the gravesite upon their arrival, the calico taking in each detail that she could muster from the place. It seemed to look just the same as before… covered with boundless piles of snow. It left her stomach with a pitiful feeling within as she hadn’t ever visited the place before when it wasn’t snowing or even leaf-bare, but maybe she’ll grow a chance to go at some point in the future.

Lioncrest’s voice broke through her interior thoughts again, making her blink out the inquisitive look in her eyes as she glanced around to face his direction. He wanted to train her? Of all cats? Questions began to fuse up deeply within the crevices of her mind, but she found the words dying as soon as they came. His offer was reasonable, as the long-furred oriental bore only the bare basics of battle training, and… she wouldn’t mind a refresher. She wouldn’t have to consistently endure feeling herself becoming impotent upon witnessing destruction and disaster strike against her clan. With more complexity towards her attributes, she would be able to help aid her clan more than she could ever hope for. However, even with this thought purging her mind, she felt keen to ask if he could also strengthen her climbing skills. The medic knew more than well that her climbing skills had been a little rusty as of late, so she wouldn’t mind the refresher towards that specific training. “Of… course… I accept… your offer… to train and… strengthen… my skills… but… I have to ask… can you… help me… improve my… climbing skills?... They’ve been… a little bit… rusty as… of late… I wouldn’t… mind the… refresher… towards both.”

@Jayvines

[Jayvines]

~ Lioncrest ~

His advice certainly WAS impressively poignant wasn't it? Familiar pride sparked to life in Lioncrest's chest, and he allowed himself to indulge it for a moment as Springpaw spoke. He had much to offer his clan, and his more intellectual traits being appreciated did little to stem the ego boost that was sure to follow this conversation.

A slow, thoughtful nod and a hum of approval were released from the large golden tom as Springpaw accepted his offer and made a request of her own. He could certainly offer a refresher in Thunderclan's signature capabilities. Perhaps even tie the two subjects together to increase her skills further towards that of a standard warrior.

Flicking his tail in an indication to follow, Lioncrest moved to a clear area amongst the trees and assumed a defensive stance.

"First, let us warm up with a brief spar; if I am to increase your knowledge, then I must evaluate your current skillset. Come. Do your best to incapacitate me," he rumbled, tail flicking in a relaxed rhythm behind him as he awaited Springpaw's first move. He certainly hoped the younger cat had been given at least some battle training, if only for self-defensive purposes.

[ @vei ]